Coffee Lunch Question
Hi Student Room community,
I hope this message finds you well.
I asked a colleague if they’d like to catch up over lunch. Originally, our calendars were quite busy, but I’m hoping they’re still available next week — I’m just not sure how to ask without seeming pushy.
I’d really appreciate some advice on a few things, if that’s okay:
a) How can I check if they’re still up for lunch in a friendly, low-pressure way?
b) What could we talk about so it feels natural and not awkward, especially since we’ve been a bit distant lately?
c) How might I tell if they’d be open to doing this again — I’m a bit worried they might be leaving the company in a couple of months.
Any advice would be really helpful. Thank you so much!
I hope this message finds you well.
I asked a colleague if they’d like to catch up over lunch. Originally, our calendars were quite busy, but I’m hoping they’re still available next week — I’m just not sure how to ask without seeming pushy.
I’d really appreciate some advice on a few things, if that’s okay:
a) How can I check if they’re still up for lunch in a friendly, low-pressure way?
b) What could we talk about so it feels natural and not awkward, especially since we’ve been a bit distant lately?
c) How might I tell if they’d be open to doing this again — I’m a bit worried they might be leaving the company in a couple of months.
Any advice would be really helpful. Thank you so much!
Reply 1
In regards to A, just say basically what you’ve said here “are we still on for lunch on X day” something like that. B, is there any gossip they’d be interested in?, any news? Ask what going on in their world atm. C I’m not sure about, feel the vibes kind of thing.
Overall just don’t overthink it (easier said than done Ik) keep it calm and casual and good luck 👍
Overall just don’t overthink it (easier said than done Ik) keep it calm and casual and good luck 👍
Reply 2
Original post
by Blahblahblahbla7In regards to A, just say basically what you’ve said here “are we still on for lunch on X day” something like that. B, is there any gossip they’d be interested in?, any news? Ask what going on in their world atm. C I’m not sure about, feel the vibes kind of thing.
Overall just don’t overthink it (easier said than done Ik) keep it calm and casual and good luck 👍
Overall just don’t overthink it (easier said than done Ik) keep it calm and casual and good luck 👍
Hi,
Thanks for your message. I asked my colleague before your reply was posted, but I felt that I did well. Here's what happened:
As I previously mentioned when I originally asked we were both quite busy, but they gave a date for Thursday. I asked them in the morning if they were still up for lunch as 'agreed', but then they told me that they were meeting up with another friend. Although they said they could do after I didn't want to rush this.
Although disheartened I said that was fine and offered to do next week either on Monday/Tuesday. They were busy on Monday, but sort of rushed and said Tuesday should work before leaving for the day.
For me I'm not sure what's changed as they were originally happy to meet up. I've been away so I don't know if I've done something. Because I'm asking over a Teams message it's not the same as in person:
Should I try again on the Tuesday?
I feel on Monday I should just face them, and ask to speak with them in private, and say:
•
Apologise for the messages on Thursday.
•
Ask if something has changed as they were originally open to the idea.
•
(Not Sure)...The reason I asked if they wanted to meet up for a coffee at lunch is because a) when I see them or speak with them briefly as I'm passing I sort of freeze up - by the way this has never happened to me before, nor does it happen with anyone else in the room, and b) I thought they had intentions to leave at the start of the new year (but they've said they will still be here). I wanted to meet up so that we could both be away from work and just talk.
I'm a friendly person, do well at work, and help where I can. I don't want to ruin anything. I hope the TSR community can help.
Reply 3
I think you should try for Tuesday and maybe just check you haven’t done anything to upset
Reply 4
Original post
by Blahblahblahbla7I think you should try for Tuesday and maybe just check you haven’t done anything to upset
What's the best way to ask this without sounding repetitive or making them feel pressured? Plus, if I were to ask, how would I ask in a way that isn't an open request, e.g, how would you feel about doing Tuesday between 12:00 - 14:00 vs are you free on Tuesday?
Reply 5
19
Original post
by Random-Username1What's the best way to ask this without sounding repetitive or making them feel pressured? Plus, if I were to ask, how would I ask in a way that isn't an open request, e.g, how would you feel about doing Tuesday between 12:00 - 14:00 vs are you free on Tuesday?
'hey! just to let you know (if you didn't read my message from earlier), what do you think about coffee on *insert daye*... if you can't make then no worries!'
(edited 1 month ago)
Reply 6
Original post
by meenu89'hey! just to let you know (if you didn't read my message from earlier), what do you think about coffee on *insert daye*... if you can't make then no worries!'
•
I asked two weeks ago if they were up for coffee
•
When checking again last Wednesday, they had double booked
•
When asking if Monday would be okay, they were busy.
•
When asking if Tuesday would be okay, they sent a message saying Tuesday should work, then headed out quickly.
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