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This guy in uni halls keeps pestering me for sex

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Reply 20

Original post
by Anonymous
I deleted his number, but last night he tried kicking mine and another girls door down before several in the corridor confronted him and he went into hiding, the other girl was left frightened and won't come out her room today, I now fully intend to report him to uni. Honestly it seems like he thinks he is entitled to sleep with a girl.

Do you think that you should change your number completely so that he doesn’t maintain any form of contact? And second of all why don’t you request from whoever is in charge of allocating where you stay within the university halls for you to move to a different location away from him in particular. Best to report to the University, Police even at this point this guy seems dangerous.

Reply 21

Original post
by surf_lozz
He’s immature and needs to stick to miss palm & her 5 sisters to get his satisfaction.
You’re doing everything you can correctly. Just live your life and best wishes and good luck at university… it goes quick so you need to focus on making find memories.
The annoying guy will move on & regret his actions (speaking from my own experience), all the very best & take good care.

Yeah... see if all these annoying guys just moved on? We wouldn't have a nation rife with sex offences and r*pe culture.

Tbh I don't think telling them to ignore it at this stage is good advice.

Reply 22

Original post
by Mohammed_2000
Why wouldn’t it make sense there’s a drunk guy that keeps insisting on wanting sex with the op relocating to another spot away from that particular individual is only in the best of interest and safety of the op. Your last point find someone else to hassle yeah that guy needs to fix up because that is so not on or right.

Your intentions are correct with your original suggestion. The point is that he should be the one to move rather than her.

Original post
by Anonymous
I deleted his number, but last night he tried kicking mine and another girls door down before several in the corridor confronted him and he went into hiding, the other girl was left frightened and won't come out her room today, I now fully intend to report him to uni. Honestly it seems like he thinks he is entitled to sleep with a girl.

This has clearly crossed the threshold for reporting him to the university, but I would absolutely consider reporting him to the police as well. He's clearly not easily deterred, but even if they decide not to prosecute based on what has happened so far, a knock on the door from the police may well give him the message that his behaviour is not only unacceptable, but criminal. I'm afraid guys who complain that they don't get sex because they are 'nice' usually don't understand that they don't get sex because they see it as transactional. In other words, they do something 'nice' and they get sex in return. The actual reactions to not getting sex vary depending on the person obviously, but they really can escalate quickly and it's clear here that you need to take steps both to protect yourself and to properly deter him. It is encouraging that others on the corridor reacting so directly to his behaviour, but you must now at least go through the university as I say. He needs to be dealt with formally.

Reply 23

Original post
by Crazy Jamie
Your intentions are correct with your original suggestion. The point is that he should be the one to move rather than her.
This has clearly crossed the threshold for reporting him to the university, but I would absolutely consider reporting him to the police as well. He's clearly not easily deterred, but even if they decide not to prosecute based on what has happened so far, a knock on the door from the police may well give him the message that his behaviour is not only unacceptable, but criminal. I'm afraid guys who complain that they don't get sex because they are 'nice' usually don't understand that they don't get sex because they see it as transactional. In other words, they do something 'nice' and they get sex in return. The actual reactions to not getting sex vary depending on the person obviously, but they really can escalate quickly and it's clear here that you need to take steps both to protect yourself and to properly deter him. It is encouraging that others on the corridor reacting so directly to his behaviour, but you must now at least go through the university as I say. He needs to be dealt with formally.

As @Crazy Jamie stated I would encourage you to speak to whoever allocates accommodation and assigning of Uni Halls and state that individual needs to move not only is he a danger and a threat yet he’s constantly been harassing you as well.

Reply 24

Original post
by Mohammed_2000
Do you think that you should change your number completely so that he doesn’t maintain any form of contact? And second of all why don’t you request from whoever is in charge of allocating where you stay within the university halls for you to move to a different location away from him in particular. Best to report to the University, Police even at this point this guy seems dangerous.

I dont want to move halls as most of my friends are here

Reply 25

Original post
by Anonymous
I dont want to move halls as most of my friends are here

Understandable well as established he needs kicking out and fast.

Reply 26

SS the chat. Block him and then report him. Unacceptable behavior.

Reply 27

Original post
by Anonymous
I became friends with this guy at uni and he lives on the same uni halls corridor as me. After a while he started texting and pestering me wanting sex just because I had drunkenly slept with someone else, he tries buying me drinks, I rejected him and he started sending abusive texts and said no one ever wants him because he is nice, any advice?
Hey!

That sounds like a really uncomfortable and upsetting situation, and you absolutely don’t deserve to be treated like that. You set a clear boundary by saying no, and his reaction, sending abusive messages and trying to guilt-trip you, is completely out of line.

First off, stop engaging with him altogether. You don’t owe him any explanation or response. Block him on social media and messaging apps if you can, and make sure you’re not alone with him around halls. If you ever feel unsafe or he keeps trying to contact or harass you, tell your accommodation staff or campus security, they take this kind of behaviour seriously. You can also report it to your uni’s wellbeing or safeguarding team; they can step in to mediate, move rooms if needed, or put formal measures in place to protect you.

It might also help to keep screenshots of any abusive messages, just in case things escalate, that way you have evidence if you decide to report it. If the messages become threatening or you feel unsafe at any point, don’t hesitate to contact the police. What he’s doing counts as harassment, and you have every right to take it seriously.

You’ve done nothing wrong here. His behaviour isn’t about you rejecting him, it’s about him not being able to handle boundaries, and that’s not your responsibility. Surround yourself with people you trust, talk it through with a friend or a student support advisor, and focus on your own safety and peace of mind.

You’ve got every right to feel safe and respected…don’t let his behaviour make you doubt that. Put your wellbeing first, lean on the support available, and remember that standing your ground isn’t overreacting, it’s protecting yourself.

Good luck! Sophie 🙂

Reply 28

Me and others reported him today someone even filmed him trying to get into my room

Reply 29

Original post
by Anonymous
Me and others reported him today someone even filmed him trying to get into my room

Oh wow. Trying to get into your room is crazy work. You need to change accom or demand that he leaves.

Reply 30

Original post
by Anonymous
Me and others reported him today someone even filmed him trying to get into my room

I hope that the university will move very quickly on this, but if someone has evidence of him trying to force his way into your room, you need to report him to the police immediately as well.

Reply 31

Original post
by Crazy Jamie
Your intentions are correct with your original suggestion. The point is that he should be the one to move rather than her.
This has clearly crossed the threshold for reporting him to the university, but I would absolutely consider reporting him to the police as well. He's clearly not easily deterred, but even if they decide not to prosecute based on what has happened so far, a knock on the door from the police may well give him the message that his behaviour is not only unacceptable, but criminal. I'm afraid guys who complain that they don't get sex because they are 'nice' usually don't understand that they don't get sex because they see it as transactional. In other words, they do something 'nice' and they get sex in return. The actual reactions to not getting sex vary depending on the person obviously, but they really can escalate quickly and it's clear here that you need to take steps both to protect yourself and to properly deter him. It is encouraging that others on the corridor reacting so directly to his behaviour, but you must now at least go through the university as I say. He needs to be dealt with formally.

@Crazy Jamie Thanks for clarifying (PRSOM BTW).

Having said that (and having read the updates from the OP), I would now concur that they should consider putting some physical distance from him and move out (even if it's only temporarily until this matter is resolved).

Original post
by Anonymous
Me and others reported him today someone even filmed him trying to get into my room

If you have immediate and genuine concerns for your safety, then you may want to speak to the hall warden / sub-warden for a potential faster resolution to moving to a different block / corridor. There's often a waiting list for rooms in halls, but the warden may be able to pull a few strings to get you away from him ASAP.

Let us all know how this progresses.

Reply 32

He's quit uni, he got told he had to move halls but decided to leave, thankfully won't see him again
Original post
by Anonymous
He's quit uni, he got told he had to move halls but decided to leave, thankfully won't see him again


Phew. Hopefully a wake up call but he sounds like a bit of a dolt so I doubt it. Good job for reporting it and for your housemate recording his behaviour.

Reply 34

Original post
by Anonymous
He's quit uni, he got told he had to move halls but decided to leave, thankfully won't see him again

That's a relief, although it doesn't (really) fix the problem... but the main thing right now is your safety and well being (as well as the others in your halls).

Original post
by Admit-One
Phew. Hopefully a wake up call but he sounds like a bit of a dolt so I doubt it. Good job for reporting it and for your housemate recording his behaviour.

I agree.

It's entirely the OP's decision, but it might be worth reporting what happened to the police anyway (along with all the evidence). Even if you decide not to pursue a full complaint (or the police say there's not enough evidence), there's a formal record of what happened, and should someone else make a complaint against him, then they'll be able to link it to your incident as pattern behaviour.

Of course, if he sees sense, and makes a conscious effort to address his behaviour / conduct, it wouldn't matter (in theory, at least).

Reply 35

Original post
by Old Skool Freak
That's a relief, although it doesn't (really) fix the problem... but the main thing right now is your safety and well being (as well as the others in your halls).
I agree.
It's entirely the OP's decision, but it might be worth reporting what happened to the police anyway (along with all the evidence). Even if you decide not to pursue a full complaint (or the police say there's not enough evidence), there's a formal record of what happened, and should someone else make a complaint against him, then they'll be able to link it to your incident as pattern behaviour.
Of course, if he sees sense, and makes a conscious effort to address his behaviour / conduct, it wouldn't matter (in theory, at least).

You're right it hasn't fixed it as we got another guy in our block that won't leave girls alone

Reply 36

Original post
by Anonymous
You're right it hasn't fixed it as we got another guy in our block that won't leave girls alone

Best to report all those lads to the uni authorities and police. There should be a blanket warning to all young men in the block to stay away from girls.

For you, I suggest that you keep the police informed for your safety too.

All the best.
(edited 3 months ago)

Reply 37

Original post
by Anonymous
You're right it hasn't fixed it as we got another guy in our block that won't leave girls alone

I take it this is "his sleazy mate" you referred to in post #9?

If that's the case, then it's possible that given what's happened to the original guy, it may make him think twice about his actions. At the very least, it shows that the rest of you won't just put up with it, and won't be afraid to act on or report any bad behaviour.

Original post
by Wired_1800
Best to report all those lads to the uni authorities and police. There should be a blanket warning to all young men in the block to stay away from girls.
For you, I suggest that you keep the police informed for your safety too.
All the best.

TBF, we're only aware of these two individuals who are confirmed sex-pests... for all we know, the other guys in the block could be decent lads who respect peoples boundaries and understand when "no" means "no". Also, we don't know if this other guy will go to the same lengths as the first one. Obviously, it depends on their specific actions, but in the first instance, I would say a firm verbal warning (either from one of the good-guys on the corridor, or a more official presence like a hall warden) would be adequate in the first instance... before going down more formal routes involving university officials or police.

Reply 38

I agree, I think most men have no issues when it comes to boundaries with women. And usually if they’ve made mistakes in the past it would have been in school, which they would have learnt from. Obviously keep your wits about you but I’d imagine that this would have made the other men in your accomodation think twice.

Reply 39

Original post
by Doomotron
I agree, I think most men have no issues when it comes to boundaries with women. And usually if they’ve made mistakes in the past it would have been in school, which they would have learnt from. Obviously keep your wits about you but I’d imagine that this would have made the other men in your accomodation think twice.

Hopefully you're right, but I dunno.

It's easy to underestimate the desperation or stupidity of some people (I wish I was joking, but I'm actually being serious 🤐 )

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