Does uni get better

Does uni get better

I am not coping that well tbh i dont really enjoy uni or my degree in the ways i thought i would just feel a lack of control of it all everyone else seems to enjoy it thou lol i wanted to study med i dont really feel like im not built for med worked really hard for it for it not to happen missed the grades but ik uni should get better but thats just how i feel now

I feel so suffocated

Friends i have some but its the sane friendships i was running from i want friends i can talk to out of uni im in some groupchats but no one wants to talk to me

I commute i want to move out originalky it made economic sense but now i just hate being home tbf i always hated it but i could manage only 2 more years now its all the way back to 3

I got my sfe i just waht to soend it on **** i want my mum qcts **** im stingy but i dont want to buy anything but itd my money my debt and i hate everything she wants me to buy all the things i pick she puts back i cant even wear what i want

And i dont really believe in God anymore one prayer for over 13 years working so hard for it not to happen i dont even like the church i go

Reply 1

LJMUStudentReps

Official Rep

Original post

by Anonymous

Does uni get better
I am not coping that well tbh i dont really enjoy uni or my degree in the ways i thought i would just feel a lack of control of it all everyone else seems to enjoy it thou lol i wanted to study med i dont really feel like im not built for med worked really hard for it for it not to happen missed the grades but ik uni should get better but thats just how i feel now
I feel so suffocated
Friends i have some but its the sane friendships i was running from i want friends i can talk to out of uni im in some groupchats but no one wants to talk to me
I commute i want to move out originalky it made economic sense but now i just hate being home tbf i always hated it but i could manage only 2 more years now its all the way back to 3
I got my sfe i just waht to soend it on **** i want my mum qcts **** im stingy but i dont want to buy anything but itd my money my debt and i hate everything she wants me to buy all the things i pick she puts back i cant even wear what i want
And i dont really believe in God anymore one prayer for over 13 years working so hard for it not to happen i dont even like the church i go

Hi,

I am sorry to hear that you are not particularly enjoying university at the moment. Uni will get better! It takes some people a little bit more time to settle in and adjust than others and that is absolutely fine! After Christmas you should be introduced to a new set of modules and hopefully you will find them more enjoyable than the ones you are doing at the moment. I know it can be very hard to stay motivated when you aren't enjoying the content but stick to it and it will get better for you! There is also zero shame in dropping out of uni and weighing up the options of what you can do next, whether that is a new course or new uni or a completely different option that isn't uni.

Friendships can be hard to make too whilst at uni, it can take abit of time to find the right people but they will come. You might just bump into someone or they might approach you and you will know when you meet your kind of people as you will just click instantly. Sometimes it can take a while but keep trying and putting the effort in speaking to people, you never know, it might just take a simple question of asking how someone is or how their day for you to become good friends with someone. Joining uni societies or clubs is also a fantastic way to meet people that you share a common interest with so maybe that would be worth a go!

You have the option to move out for your second year if you think that is something that will benefit your experience at uni. Whether you choose student halls or a private flat it is definitely something that you can do. If you decide at the end of your first year that moving out would mean you met more people and had a better time overall then I would definitely recommend it.

Keep going, I know it seems tough now but things will get better. There is always student support teams ran by the uni that will have a conversation with you and talk things through if you need. I hope the rest of the uni year is okay for you, let me know if you have any other questions, I am more than happy to help!

Matt 🙂
Official LJMU Student Rep

Reply 2

ARU Graduate

Official Rep

Original post

by Anonymous

Does uni get better
I am not coping that well tbh i dont really enjoy uni or my degree in the ways i thought i would just feel a lack of control of it all everyone else seems to enjoy it thou lol i wanted to study med i dont really feel like im not built for med worked really hard for it for it not to happen missed the grades but ik uni should get better but thats just how i feel now
I feel so suffocated
Friends i have some but its the sane friendships i was running from i want friends i can talk to out of uni im in some groupchats but no one wants to talk to me
I commute i want to move out originalky it made economic sense but now i just hate being home tbf i always hated it but i could manage only 2 more years now its all the way back to 3
I got my sfe i just waht to soend it on **** i want my mum qcts **** im stingy but i dont want to buy anything but itd my money my debt and i hate everything she wants me to buy all the things i pick she puts back i cant even wear what i want
And i dont really believe in God anymore one prayer for over 13 years working so hard for it not to happen i dont even like the church i go

Hey,

I can really feel how heavy everything feels for you right now…. it sounds like you’re juggling so many things emotionally, and that’s a lot for anyone to deal with. Please know that you’re not alone in feeling like this, even if it seems like everyone else is loving uni. A lot of people struggle quietly, especially when reality doesn’t match what they hoped it would be.

Uni does get better for most people, but not overnight. It’s a big adjustment, new environment, expectations, people and it takes time to find your rhythm and your people. Right now, it sounds like you’re under so much pressure from every angle: your degree, family, faith, finances, and just trying to feel like yourself. No wonder you feel suffocated.

You mentioned wanting different kinds of friendships, and that’s such a valid feeling. It might take time, but those deeper connections do happen, sometimes through societies, part-time work, volunteering, or just small consistent interactions with people on your course. Even joining online spaces linked to your degree or interests can help when real life feels isolating.

Commuting definitely makes things harder, it can feel like you’re missing out on the social side, and home not feeling like a safe or freeing space adds to that. Maybe try spending a bit more time on campus, even just studying in the library or grabbing coffee between lectures…so you get a bit of separation and headspace from home.

And please be gentle with yourself about medicine. Missing out on something you worked so hard for hurts deeply. It’s okay to grieve that dream. But not getting into medicine doesn’t mean you’re not capable or “built for it”, sometimes the path just looks different. You still have every chance to do something meaningful with your life.

As for your faith and your mum, those are both big, personal things, and it’s understandable that you feel disconnected. When so much feels out of your control, it’s easy to start questioning everything. But it’s okay to step back, take time, and just feel without forcing yourself to have answers right now.
You’re clearly strong, you’ve kept pushing despite all of this, and that says a lot about you. Try setting small daily goals or writing things down in a diary, even if it’s just one thing you can control each day. It helps create a bit of order when everything feels chaotic.

If things keep feeling this heavy, please reach out to someone, your uni’s wellbeing team, your GP, or even a helpline. You don’t have to handle all of this alone, and you deserve support.

Things won’t always feel this suffocating. It might take time, but you’ll find your space, your people, and your peace again…one small step at a time.

Good luck going forward! Sophie 🙂

Reply 3

isola.j

yeah mate it’ll get better just not right off the bat. you’re in that foggy bit before the sun comes up proper. missin med ain’t failure it’s just life muckin about with your plans. the loneliness feels like it’s settlin in for good but it ain’t. grab small bits of freedom where you can, bit of fresh air, bit of chat. even tired hearts find their rhythm again, don’t they?

Reply 4

hallamstudents

Official Rep

Original post

by Anonymous

Does uni get better
I am not coping that well tbh i dont really enjoy uni or my degree in the ways i thought i would just feel a lack of control of it all everyone else seems to enjoy it thou lol i wanted to study med i dont really feel like im not built for med worked really hard for it for it not to happen missed the grades but ik uni should get better but thats just how i feel now
I feel so suffocated
Friends i have some but its the sane friendships i was running from i want friends i can talk to out of uni im in some groupchats but no one wants to talk to me
I commute i want to move out originalky it made economic sense but now i just hate being home tbf i always hated it but i could manage only 2 more years now its all the way back to 3
I got my sfe i just waht to soend it on **** i want my mum qcts **** im stingy but i dont want to buy anything but itd my money my debt and i hate everything she wants me to buy all the things i pick she puts back i cant even wear what i want
And i dont really believe in God anymore one prayer for over 13 years working so hard for it not to happen i dont even like the church i go

Hi there,

I am so sorry that you are feeling this way at the moment. I know how tough this must be and I completely understand that you must be feeling quite down so I just wanted to try and help in any way I can.

Firstly, with friendships. It can be tough making friends at uni and I do really understand how you are feeling with this. Here are some ways that I have made friends while at uni just in case this helps you out at all.

•

Join a society. These are great ways of meeting new people and doing something you enjoy at the same time. I would have a look and see if there are any that you are interested in and see if you can join any. If not, you might have to join one in January but I would recommend you to have a look at least!

•

I would also suggest you to have a look and see if your SU puts any events on as these are quite often fun events and you can make some new friends too that you otherwise may not have met!

•

Talk to the people on your course and see if anyone wants to do something after your lecture! Some people may want to go for a coffee, or even just to the library which could be nice.

In terms of commuting, you still have the option to live away from home in your second and third year! Sometimes you can find accommodation after Christmas too, or there might be a tenancy to takeover if you have a look on Facebook if you really wanted to move out.

If you are really struggling, I would really urge you to talk to someone about how you are feeling. You can talk to your tutors, or the wellbeing team at your uni as they will be there for you and can help you out if you are really struggling. It is so worth it so please consider it.

I hope some of this helps and things improve for you soon.

Lucy -SHU student ambassador.

Reply 5

Manchester Met - Student Rep

Official Rep

Original post

by ARU Graduate

Hey,
I can really feel how heavy everything feels for you right now…. it sounds like you’re juggling so many things emotionally, and that’s a lot for anyone to deal with. Please know that you’re not alone in feeling like this, even if it seems like everyone else is loving uni. A lot of people struggle quietly, especially when reality doesn’t match what they hoped it would be.
Uni does get better for most people, but not overnight. It’s a big adjustment, new environment, expectations, people and it takes time to find your rhythm and your people. Right now, it sounds like you’re under so much pressure from every angle: your degree, family, faith, finances, and just trying to feel like yourself. No wonder you feel suffocated.
You mentioned wanting different kinds of friendships, and that’s such a valid feeling. It might take time, but those deeper connections do happen, sometimes through societies, part-time work, volunteering, or just small consistent interactions with people on your course. Even joining online spaces linked to your degree or interests can help when real life feels isolating.
Commuting definitely makes things harder, it can feel like you’re missing out on the social side, and home not feeling like a safe or freeing space adds to that. Maybe try spending a bit more time on campus, even just studying in the library or grabbing coffee between lectures…so you get a bit of separation and headspace from home.
And please be gentle with yourself about medicine. Missing out on something you worked so hard for hurts deeply. It’s okay to grieve that dream. But not getting into medicine doesn’t mean you’re not capable or “built for it”, sometimes the path just looks different. You still have every chance to do something meaningful with your life.
As for your faith and your mum, those are both big, personal things, and it’s understandable that you feel disconnected. When so much feels out of your control, it’s easy to start questioning everything. But it’s okay to step back, take time, and just feel without forcing yourself to have answers right now.
You’re clearly strong, you’ve kept pushing despite all of this, and that says a lot about you. Try setting small daily goals or writing things down in a diary, even if it’s just one thing you can control each day. It helps create a bit of order when everything feels chaotic.
If things keep feeling this heavy, please reach out to someone, your uni’s wellbeing team, your GP, or even a helpline. You don’t have to handle all of this alone, and you deserve support.
Things won’t always feel this suffocating. It might take time, but you’ll find your space, your people, and your peace again…one small step at a time.
Good luck going forward! Sophie 🙂

Hey,
I am truly sorry you're feeling so suffocated right now. That feeling of everything being out of your control is awful, and please know that many students feel this way. You are not alone in this struggle.
Here are a few quick steps to help you start taking back control:
Taking Control Back

Acknowledge the Grief: It's completely okay to grieve missing out on Medicine. You worked hard. Give yourself permission to feel that disappointment. Your current course might not be Medicine, but it can still lead to a fantastic career path.

Contact Counselling/Wellbeing: The most important step. Reach out to the University Counselling or Wellbeing Team immediately. They are confidential, and they can give you safe, constructive ways to cope with the pressure from home and the lack of control.

Address the Commute & Friends: Since commuting makes you unhappy:

Action 1 (Social): To find better friends, look for societies based on deep interests (like a specific hobby or even a career society).

Action 2 (Commute): Speak to the Accommodation Team about your options for moving out next year. Having a plan, even for the future, will make the next year feel less suffocating.

Focus on these small steps to regain control and create a better environment for yourself.
Hope this helps!😊
Rachel
(Third year)
Undergraduate Multimedia Journalism

Reply 6

Kingston Zhi En

Official Rep

Original post

by Anonymous

Does uni get better
I am not coping that well tbh i dont really enjoy uni or my degree in the ways i thought i would just feel a lack of control of it all everyone else seems to enjoy it thou lol i wanted to study med i dont really feel like im not built for med worked really hard for it for it not to happen missed the grades but ik uni should get better but thats just how i feel now
I feel so suffocated
Friends i have some but its the sane friendships i was running from i want friends i can talk to out of uni im in some groupchats but no one wants to talk to me
I commute i want to move out originalky it made economic sense but now i just hate being home tbf i always hated it but i could manage only 2 more years now its all the way back to 3
I got my sfe i just waht to soend it on **** i want my mum qcts **** im stingy but i dont want to buy anything but itd my money my debt and i hate everything she wants me to buy all the things i pick she puts back i cant even wear what i want
And i dont really believe in God anymore one prayer for over 13 years working so hard for it not to happen i dont even like the church i go

Hi there,

I am so sorry to hear about your difficulties adjusting to uni life. The first year of uni can feel quite overwhelming due to the changes in teaching style and emphasis on independent study.
Do you find it hard to manage your time? Are you able to identify any particular modules or parts of studying that you find challenging? You might want to consider speaking to your academic personal tutor about how you are feeling about the course, they might be able to offer some tips and sign post you to the right resources to help with your studies.

Making lasting friendships does take time and work, so it's perfectly normal to not have it worked out yet. Uni is a time to meet new people from different backgrounds and it can be a socially awkward and uncomfortable period at first. Give yourself sometime to adjust and try joining some student union events or society activities one in a while 🤗

You can always live away from home and closer to uni in the 2nd year! Try contact your uni's accommodation team to see if there are any available rooms before the end of the academic year. Alternatively, you can find a spare room or shared house online on platforms like OpenRent, SpareRoom and RightMove 😚.

I hope things get better and wishing you the best of luck in your studies.

Zhi En
(Kingston Student Rep.)

Reply 7

artful_lounger

Universities Forum Helper

Honestly it sounds like a fair bit of the issue is due to you living at home. You both aren't engaging with the other students at the uni socially in the way you want (which is probably constrained by being a commuter student, as I know from personal experience it makes it a lot harder to engage in social events outside of academic work), and you aren't enjoying your home life and living with your family.

I think you should look at moving into halls either next term or next year and see how that changes your experience. Ideally, see if you can do so for next term, as then that gives you the remainder of the year to see how that may change your experience of uni (and as it's potentially just a few months if it doesn't work for you, you can move back home sooner rather than later).

Reply 8

04MR17

Volunteer Team, Clearing and Applications Advisor

Original post

by Anonymous

Everyone experiences university differently, I had some great moments, 1st year had its ups and downs, my second year might have been the worst and my third was comfortably the most enjoyable (despite a pandemic). There is no wrong answer to your question. I would take some time to think which things are causing the most unhappiness? Give each a percentage:
- Living at home
- Not doing medicine
- Your mother
- The commute
- Religion
- Friendships
- Feelings about yourself

The second thing I would strongly encourage you to do is reach out to student support services (or whatever they are called at your uni) and tell them that you're not okay. From my own experience but from a lot of experience giving advice online - things get much better after you share with the professionals who can try to help you make university better.

Just a thought - you mentioned religion at the end, have you considered joining the uni society for your faith?