Not Clicking With Flatmates? Top Tips On How To Get Through The Year
Be civil.
It’s normal to not get along with absolutely everyone at uni – after all, we all have different personalities and habits based on our own experiences or upbringings. Nonetheless, the important thing is to respect people for who they are and work towards a civil compromise where possible. You don’t have to be best friends, but you should try and come to a mutual understanding. If your flatmates are being too loud at night, suggest a reasonable noise curfew; if they’re taking up too much space in the fridge, ask if you can divide space equally amongst the flat (e.g. a shelf for each flatmate) or make an alternative storage arrangement (e.g. more pantry/freezer space instead).
Frustratingly, not all compromises work – in which case, try to remain calm and reach out to your flatmates once again before contacting any available resident services/accommodation team.
Talk to friends/family members.
Homesickness is common at university regardless of your living situation, but it can often feel heightened if you’re experiencing a poor flat dynamic. Talking to your friends and family about the issues you’re facing in your flat will help you process your thoughts and feelings a bit more effectively, and they may be able to offer solutions you haven’t thought of yet.
Join societies and engage in student life outside of your flat!
When students first come to university, a lot of emphasis is placed on bonding with flatmates; for some, flatmates can seem like the first ticket to a successful student social life. However, if you haven’t clicked with your flatmates, don’t feel like this is out of reach – you can easily make friends outside of your flat by joining societies, participating in extra-curricular events or even through starting a part-time job. Your social life isn’t limited to your flat, so put yourself out there and see who you do click with at uni!
Consider your plans for next year.
If you haven’t clicked with your flatmates, it’s best to start considering what your plans are for accommodation in the following years. Ask friends, society members or coursemates what their plans are for the following year to see if they have any spaces available in their flat, or come together with a few others to form a flat of your own. If you’re struggling, reach out to your university’s accommodation team as they may be able to assist you with your search.
I hope this was helpful for anyone who’s currently experiencing a bit of a rough patch with their flatmates! How are you dealing with the situation? 🙃
Eve (Kingston Rep).
It’s normal to not get along with absolutely everyone at uni – after all, we all have different personalities and habits based on our own experiences or upbringings. Nonetheless, the important thing is to respect people for who they are and work towards a civil compromise where possible. You don’t have to be best friends, but you should try and come to a mutual understanding. If your flatmates are being too loud at night, suggest a reasonable noise curfew; if they’re taking up too much space in the fridge, ask if you can divide space equally amongst the flat (e.g. a shelf for each flatmate) or make an alternative storage arrangement (e.g. more pantry/freezer space instead).
Frustratingly, not all compromises work – in which case, try to remain calm and reach out to your flatmates once again before contacting any available resident services/accommodation team.
Talk to friends/family members.
Homesickness is common at university regardless of your living situation, but it can often feel heightened if you’re experiencing a poor flat dynamic. Talking to your friends and family about the issues you’re facing in your flat will help you process your thoughts and feelings a bit more effectively, and they may be able to offer solutions you haven’t thought of yet.
Join societies and engage in student life outside of your flat!
When students first come to university, a lot of emphasis is placed on bonding with flatmates; for some, flatmates can seem like the first ticket to a successful student social life. However, if you haven’t clicked with your flatmates, don’t feel like this is out of reach – you can easily make friends outside of your flat by joining societies, participating in extra-curricular events or even through starting a part-time job. Your social life isn’t limited to your flat, so put yourself out there and see who you do click with at uni!
Consider your plans for next year.
If you haven’t clicked with your flatmates, it’s best to start considering what your plans are for accommodation in the following years. Ask friends, society members or coursemates what their plans are for the following year to see if they have any spaces available in their flat, or come together with a few others to form a flat of your own. If you’re struggling, reach out to your university’s accommodation team as they may be able to assist you with your search.
I hope this was helpful for anyone who’s currently experiencing a bit of a rough patch with their flatmates! How are you dealing with the situation? 🙃
Eve (Kingston Rep).
(edited 2 months ago)
Reply 1
That’s such helpful advice, Eve!
If you’re a few weeks in and still not clicking with your flatmates, try not to worry — it’s more common than you might think. Flatmates are always a bit of a lottery, and everyone settles into uni life at a different pace. It can take a bit of time and effort before things start to feel comfortable.
Here are a few ways to make things easier:
Break the ice
If things feel awkward, someone usually just needs to make the first move. Leaving out a few biscuits or sweets in the kitchen is an easy, low-pressure way to get people chatting. Games like UNO don't take up much space and are great for breaking the silence and having a laugh together. You could even leave a quick note with your socials and start a flat group chat — it’s handy for day-to-day things, and lifesaving if anyone gets locked out!
Keep things friendly
You don’t have to be best friends, but spending a bit of time together can make things feel more relaxed. Suggest a film night, cook a meal as a group, or head to a campus event together.
Tidy flat, happy flat
A cleaning rota early on saves a lot of stress later. Split tasks like bins (daily if you’re in a larger flat), vacuuming, and shared appliances. It’s much easier when everyone pitches in — and it avoids those passive-aggressive fridge notes!
Talk it out
Little things happen — borrowing a splash of milk or a bit of ketchup isn’t usually a big deal. People also have different routines and lifestyles, and sometimes they might not realise their habits are bothering others — like leaving dirty dishes in the sink. If that’s the case, try suggesting they keep their dishes in their room until they’re ready to wash them up. Honest, respectful conversations usually help more than silent frustration. Don’t be afraid to speak up, but try to stay relaxed too.
Ask for support if needed
Some halls have a Student Living Assistant or Residential Assistant — usually a second/third-year or postgraduate student who’s been through the same experience themselves. They can help with cleaning rotas, mediate any issues, or just offer advice if things feel tense. If your accommodation doesn’t have one, your accommodation team can still support you or even look into a room swap if things really aren’t working out.
At the end of the day, you don’t need to be best friends — just respectful and easy to live with. You’ll meet loads of people through your course, societies, and part-time work anyway 🙂
Megan (LJMU Rep)
If you’re a few weeks in and still not clicking with your flatmates, try not to worry — it’s more common than you might think. Flatmates are always a bit of a lottery, and everyone settles into uni life at a different pace. It can take a bit of time and effort before things start to feel comfortable.
Here are a few ways to make things easier:
Break the ice
If things feel awkward, someone usually just needs to make the first move. Leaving out a few biscuits or sweets in the kitchen is an easy, low-pressure way to get people chatting. Games like UNO don't take up much space and are great for breaking the silence and having a laugh together. You could even leave a quick note with your socials and start a flat group chat — it’s handy for day-to-day things, and lifesaving if anyone gets locked out!
Keep things friendly
You don’t have to be best friends, but spending a bit of time together can make things feel more relaxed. Suggest a film night, cook a meal as a group, or head to a campus event together.
Tidy flat, happy flat
A cleaning rota early on saves a lot of stress later. Split tasks like bins (daily if you’re in a larger flat), vacuuming, and shared appliances. It’s much easier when everyone pitches in — and it avoids those passive-aggressive fridge notes!
Talk it out
Little things happen — borrowing a splash of milk or a bit of ketchup isn’t usually a big deal. People also have different routines and lifestyles, and sometimes they might not realise their habits are bothering others — like leaving dirty dishes in the sink. If that’s the case, try suggesting they keep their dishes in their room until they’re ready to wash them up. Honest, respectful conversations usually help more than silent frustration. Don’t be afraid to speak up, but try to stay relaxed too.
Ask for support if needed
Some halls have a Student Living Assistant or Residential Assistant — usually a second/third-year or postgraduate student who’s been through the same experience themselves. They can help with cleaning rotas, mediate any issues, or just offer advice if things feel tense. If your accommodation doesn’t have one, your accommodation team can still support you or even look into a room swap if things really aren’t working out.
At the end of the day, you don’t need to be best friends — just respectful and easy to live with. You’ll meet loads of people through your course, societies, and part-time work anyway 🙂
Megan (LJMU Rep)
I had a pretty rubbish experience with my flatmates. I stuck it out but overall it was detrimental, if you have the ability to move it may be worth considering it.
My top tip would be to clean up after yourself in a reasonable amount of a time (no longer than 24 hours, but preferably don't leave stuff out over night).
Don't leave things in the sink because people will want to use them without your dirty saucepan in it. If the bin bag is full, take it out - it isn't a difficult thing to do, don't leave it hoping someone else will do it. If you get something sticky on the side, clean it up.
My top tip would be to clean up after yourself in a reasonable amount of a time (no longer than 24 hours, but preferably don't leave stuff out over night).
Don't leave things in the sink because people will want to use them without your dirty saucepan in it. If the bin bag is full, take it out - it isn't a difficult thing to do, don't leave it hoping someone else will do it. If you get something sticky on the side, clean it up.
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