Struggling to adapt to being away from home
Hey,
I’m a first year student at the UEA and I still don’t feel I’ve really settled.
There have been a number of aspects of life at the university that haven’t exactly helped, e.g. not really getting on with my flatmates and not connecting with my course peers. (It’s also a very small class which makes it more awkward) I’m probably more than two thirds through the year now and the next intake for the uni closest to me is not till October next year:/
Obviously I know I’m the only one who can make the choice but I would appreciate some feedback.
I feel like dropping out would be a real shame based on how hard I’ve worked to get here.
My advisor is aware of my situation.
I’m a first year student at the UEA and I still don’t feel I’ve really settled.
There have been a number of aspects of life at the university that haven’t exactly helped, e.g. not really getting on with my flatmates and not connecting with my course peers. (It’s also a very small class which makes it more awkward) I’m probably more than two thirds through the year now and the next intake for the uni closest to me is not till October next year:/
Obviously I know I’m the only one who can make the choice but I would appreciate some feedback.
I feel like dropping out would be a real shame based on how hard I’ve worked to get here.
My advisor is aware of my situation.
Reply 1
Original post
by AnonymousHey,
I’m a first year student at the UEA and I still don’t feel I’ve really settled.
There have been a number of aspects of life at the university that haven’t exactly helped, e.g. not really getting on with my flatmates and not connecting with my course peers. (It’s also a very small class which makes it more awkward) I’m probably more than two thirds through the year now and the next intake for the uni closest to me is not till October next year:/
Obviously I know I’m the only one who can make the choice but I would appreciate some feedback.
I feel like dropping out would be a real shame based on how hard I’ve worked to get here.
My advisor is aware of my situation.
I’m a first year student at the UEA and I still don’t feel I’ve really settled.
There have been a number of aspects of life at the university that haven’t exactly helped, e.g. not really getting on with my flatmates and not connecting with my course peers. (It’s also a very small class which makes it more awkward) I’m probably more than two thirds through the year now and the next intake for the uni closest to me is not till October next year:/
Obviously I know I’m the only one who can make the choice but I would appreciate some feedback.
I feel like dropping out would be a real shame based on how hard I’ve worked to get here.
My advisor is aware of my situation.
Hi! 🙂
I'm very sorry to hear you're having a hard time adjusting to university.
Letting your advisor know is a good step and one that requires courage to do, so well done!
I would recommend speaking to the SIZ as they will be able to provide more specific help with this.
Are you part of any societies or clubs? This is one of the easiest way to meet like-minded people and if you pick something you enjoy it can definitely give you something to look forward to.
As you said, it is up to you to make the final decision but do know that you are not alone and lots of people feel like this at the start of university.
I hope this helps a little, if you have any follow up questions please do let me know 🙂
I wish you the best!
Fatma.
Reply 2
Original post
by AnonymousHey,
I’m a first year student at the UEA and I still don’t feel I’ve really settled.
There have been a number of aspects of life at the university that haven’t exactly helped, e.g. not really getting on with my flatmates and not connecting with my course peers. (It’s also a very small class which makes it more awkward) I’m probably more than two thirds through the year now and the next intake for the uni closest to me is not till October next year:/
Obviously I know I’m the only one who can make the choice but I would appreciate some feedback.
I feel like dropping out would be a real shame based on how hard I’ve worked to get here.
My advisor is aware of my situation.
I’m a first year student at the UEA and I still don’t feel I’ve really settled.
There have been a number of aspects of life at the university that haven’t exactly helped, e.g. not really getting on with my flatmates and not connecting with my course peers. (It’s also a very small class which makes it more awkward) I’m probably more than two thirds through the year now and the next intake for the uni closest to me is not till October next year:/
Obviously I know I’m the only one who can make the choice but I would appreciate some feedback.
I feel like dropping out would be a real shame based on how hard I’ve worked to get here.
My advisor is aware of my situation.
Hi!
Sorry to hear about the situation that you are in, it is not a nice feeling I know when things aren't going your way at uni but it does take time! As mentioned above, have you considered joining any clubs/societies? They are an amazing way to meet people who you will share a common interest with and therefore conversation and friendships will come a lot easier than elsewhere! They are also good as you can join them at any-point of the year and they will be very open to welcoming you. If you have a think about what you enjoy the most, whether it is a certain sport or a hobby and then there should be a list of societies and clubs that your university offers on their website with a place to sign up!
My advice would be to keep going for abit, you never know when you will bump into someone, or have that one conversation with someone that will turn into a good friendship, sometimes it can just take longer for some people than others and that is absolutely OK! As you have said, you have worked very hard to get to where you are but at the end of the day it is your choice and you have to do what you think will be best for yourself!
I hope this response has helped slightly, let me know if you have any other questions, I am more than happy to help!
Matt🙂
Official LJMU Student Rep
Reply 3
Original post
by AnonymousHey,
I’m a first year student at the UEA and I still don’t feel I’ve really settled.
There have been a number of aspects of life at the university that haven’t exactly helped, e.g. not really getting on with my flatmates and not connecting with my course peers. (It’s also a very small class which makes it more awkward) I’m probably more than two thirds through the year now and the next intake for the uni closest to me is not till October next year:/
Obviously I know I’m the only one who can make the choice but I would appreciate some feedback.
I feel like dropping out would be a real shame based on how hard I’ve worked to get here.
My advisor is aware of my situation.
I’m a first year student at the UEA and I still don’t feel I’ve really settled.
There have been a number of aspects of life at the university that haven’t exactly helped, e.g. not really getting on with my flatmates and not connecting with my course peers. (It’s also a very small class which makes it more awkward) I’m probably more than two thirds through the year now and the next intake for the uni closest to me is not till October next year:/
Obviously I know I’m the only one who can make the choice but I would appreciate some feedback.
I feel like dropping out would be a real shame based on how hard I’ve worked to get here.
My advisor is aware of my situation.
Hey,
Just to add to the really good advice already on this thread, you could try suggesting some meet-ups with people on your course to help feel a bit more connected with them. Sometimes just making that first move to invite people to study together or have a social at the bar can really help! Lots of people feel really shy when starting uni and can struggle to be sociable with the people on their course, so if you were to suggest something, people who are too shy to suggest it themselves might come and you could connect with people in a different way to just lectures or seminars! For example, in my first year, my cohort decided to meet at the bar occasionally to get to know each other, which worked really well with a small cohort. Not everyone comes, and some people aren't super chatty, but it is a more relaxed way to connect with people and hopefully make some friends! If nothing else you can chat about your lectures and coursework!
Be reassured that this is really normal, lots of people feel like this when starting uni, it is really hard to start fresh with completely new people! Keep going and stay strong, the right people will come!
UEA Rep Rosie ☺️
BSc Ecology and Conservation
Reply 4
Original post
by AnonymousHey,
I’m a first year student at the UEA and I still don’t feel I’ve really settled.
There have been a number of aspects of life at the university that haven’t exactly helped, e.g. not really getting on with my flatmates and not connecting with my course peers. (It’s also a very small class which makes it more awkward) I’m probably more than two thirds through the year now and the next intake for the uni closest to me is not till October next year:/
Obviously I know I’m the only one who can make the choice but I would appreciate some feedback.
I feel like dropping out would be a real shame based on how hard I’ve worked to get here.
My advisor is aware of my situation.
I’m a first year student at the UEA and I still don’t feel I’ve really settled.
There have been a number of aspects of life at the university that haven’t exactly helped, e.g. not really getting on with my flatmates and not connecting with my course peers. (It’s also a very small class which makes it more awkward) I’m probably more than two thirds through the year now and the next intake for the uni closest to me is not till October next year:/
Obviously I know I’m the only one who can make the choice but I would appreciate some feedback.
I feel like dropping out would be a real shame based on how hard I’ve worked to get here.
My advisor is aware of my situation.
Hi @Anonymous 👋
I am sorry to hear that. My advice for you would be to talk to your student advisor again and see what you can do. I understand the aspect of dropping out but how do you feel about your course? Is it all alright or is it just the settling in bit that is worrying you? Settling in takes time honestly and most people just find societies or events and they slowly make friends which might be helpful for you?
Essex Student Rep- Lavanya 💜
Reply 5
Original post
by AnonymousHey,
I’m a first year student at the UEA and I still don’t feel I’ve really settled.
There have been a number of aspects of life at the university that haven’t exactly helped, e.g. not really getting on with my flatmates and not connecting with my course peers. (It’s also a very small class which makes it more awkward) I’m probably more than two thirds through the year now and the next intake for the uni closest to me is not till October next year:/
Obviously I know I’m the only one who can make the choice but I would appreciate some feedback.
I feel like dropping out would be a real shame based on how hard I’ve worked to get here.
My advisor is aware of my situation.
I’m a first year student at the UEA and I still don’t feel I’ve really settled.
There have been a number of aspects of life at the university that haven’t exactly helped, e.g. not really getting on with my flatmates and not connecting with my course peers. (It’s also a very small class which makes it more awkward) I’m probably more than two thirds through the year now and the next intake for the uni closest to me is not till October next year:/
Obviously I know I’m the only one who can make the choice but I would appreciate some feedback.
I feel like dropping out would be a real shame based on how hard I’ve worked to get here.
My advisor is aware of my situation.
Hi there,
I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling like this. I would say don't be too hard on yourself as you are not alone in feeling like this. There are many students who feel like this and it can take some time to get adjusted to university. It's great that you have got your advisor involved, which is a great first step as is acknowledging how you are feeling.
You have had some great suggestions and advice already but I would suggest looking online too not just at societies or speaking to class mates. Societies really are great to find likeminded people, which you can do by joining groups to meet like-minded people who you may not have had the opportunity to meet in person. You can find more useful tips on our page here.
Having patience is something I really learnt to have during first year. I expected to make my friends straight away but it does take longer for some than others and that is okay. Don't let this affect you and the hard work you put in! Just be yourself and get yourself out there. You've got this 🙂
Best wishes,
^Zac
(edited 3 months ago)
Reply 6
Original post
by AnonymousHey,
I’m a first year student at the UEA and I still don’t feel I’ve really settled.
There have been a number of aspects of life at the university that haven’t exactly helped, e.g. not really getting on with my flatmates and not connecting with my course peers. (It’s also a very small class which makes it more awkward) I’m probably more than two thirds through the year now and the next intake for the uni closest to me is not till October next year:/
Obviously I know I’m the only one who can make the choice but I would appreciate some feedback.
I feel like dropping out would be a real shame based on how hard I’ve worked to get here.
My advisor is aware of my situation.
I’m a first year student at the UEA and I still don’t feel I’ve really settled.
There have been a number of aspects of life at the university that haven’t exactly helped, e.g. not really getting on with my flatmates and not connecting with my course peers. (It’s also a very small class which makes it more awkward) I’m probably more than two thirds through the year now and the next intake for the uni closest to me is not till October next year:/
Obviously I know I’m the only one who can make the choice but I would appreciate some feedback.
I feel like dropping out would be a real shame based on how hard I’ve worked to get here.
My advisor is aware of my situation.
Hi there, thanks so much for opening up.
It’s great that you’ve spoken to your advisor — that’s a really important step. If you haven’t already, you might also want to explore some of UEA’s support services like Student Services, Wellbeing, or even Peer Support. Sometimes just talking things through with someone neutral can help you see things more clearly.
You’ve worked hard to get here, and that’s something to be proud of. Dropping out is a big decision, and it’s totally okay to take your time with it. But also remember: staying doesn’t mean you’re stuck. There might be ways to improve your experience, like joining a society, switching accommodation, or even exploring course changes if that’s an option.
Good luck!
Daniel
Reply 7
Original post
by AnonymousHey,
I’m a first year student at the UEA and I still don’t feel I’ve really settled.
There have been a number of aspects of life at the university that haven’t exactly helped, e.g. not really getting on with my flatmates and not connecting with my course peers. (It’s also a very small class which makes it more awkward) I’m probably more than two thirds through the year now and the next intake for the uni closest to me is not till October next year:/
Obviously I know I’m the only one who can make the choice but I would appreciate some feedback.
I feel like dropping out would be a real shame based on how hard I’ve worked to get here.
My advisor is aware of my situation.
I’m a first year student at the UEA and I still don’t feel I’ve really settled.
There have been a number of aspects of life at the university that haven’t exactly helped, e.g. not really getting on with my flatmates and not connecting with my course peers. (It’s also a very small class which makes it more awkward) I’m probably more than two thirds through the year now and the next intake for the uni closest to me is not till October next year:/
Obviously I know I’m the only one who can make the choice but I would appreciate some feedback.
I feel like dropping out would be a real shame based on how hard I’ve worked to get here.
My advisor is aware of my situation.
Hiya lovely
I completely get where you’re coming from I had a similar issue when I moved countries to come to my uni— the first year can be a lot harder to settle into than people make out, especially if you don’t click straight away with your flatmates or coursemates. It’s good that your tutor already knows what’s going on, that’s a really positive step.
If you’re over halfway through the year, it might be worth seeing it out and using the rest of the time to focus on other ways of making things better.
Have you tried joining a society, thats something i truelly recommend as its a place where you already have a common interest with people. Im not gonna lie hockey society was where my frienships started clicking and i love those girl with my whole chest.
You could also try to find a part-time job that is another thing i did myself and as a stident ambassador i have made so many friends outside of my course. Sometimes a change of environment or group can make a big difference.
That said, if you’ve really tried and still feel not the greatest, it’s okay to look at other options too. You’ve worked hard to get here, and that effort won’t go to waste even if you decide to transfer or take a break, plenty of people take a different route before finding the right fit. One of my closest friends Nadia took a gap year in first year to take a break and if not for that we wouldn't have met when she came back and ended up in my class.
Whatever you decide, try not to rush it. Maybe give it a few more weeks while staying in touch with your advisor and student support — they can help you explore what’s realistic before the next intake.
You’re definitely not alone in feeling this way, even if it seems like everyone else is having a great time. You've got this 💯
Kind regards Aneta PhD Chemistry
Reply 8
Original post
by AnonymousHey,
I’m a first year student at the UEA and I still don’t feel I’ve really settled.
There have been a number of aspects of life at the university that haven’t exactly helped, e.g. not really getting on with my flatmates and not connecting with my course peers. (It’s also a very small class which makes it more awkward) I’m probably more than two thirds through the year now and the next intake for the uni closest to me is not till October next year:/
Obviously I know I’m the only one who can make the choice but I would appreciate some feedback.
I feel like dropping out would be a real shame based on how hard I’ve worked to get here.
My advisor is aware of my situation.
I’m a first year student at the UEA and I still don’t feel I’ve really settled.
There have been a number of aspects of life at the university that haven’t exactly helped, e.g. not really getting on with my flatmates and not connecting with my course peers. (It’s also a very small class which makes it more awkward) I’m probably more than two thirds through the year now and the next intake for the uni closest to me is not till October next year:/
Obviously I know I’m the only one who can make the choice but I would appreciate some feedback.
I feel like dropping out would be a real shame based on how hard I’ve worked to get here.
My advisor is aware of my situation.
Hiya,
I am sorry to hear about your difficulties in adjusting to uni life. It's great that you have taken the initiative in speaking to your academic advisor ☺️. Personally, I too did not get along well with my flatmates and classmates in the very beginning, it was not until the middle of the 2nd year where I managed to find people I gelled with 😚
These things do take time and it helped that I joined a society and worked part-time within the uni. This allowed me to meet new people from different backgrounds and gave me more opportunities to socialise outside of my faculty.
Have you been coping well with your studies? Are you enjoying the academic side and facilities of the university? These are some things to reflect upon when making your decision. There will always be an awkward and slow social phase whenever you are in a new place, what's important is that uni is the right space for your personal development and growth☺️.
I hope this helps and wishing you the best of luck no matter what decision you make.
Zhi En
(Kingston Student Rep.)
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