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Is adhd embarrassing to tell Pakistani bf

I’m an 18yrs old F and have been struggling a lot the past few years with undiagnosed adhd it’s affects my life a lot from doing simple tasks to focusing on assignments and it’s something I am really struggling to come to terms that I may have.
I have been talking to a guy for a year now and when it comes to things like focusing on doing my work and it taking me hours to even write a simple paragraph it is obviously really confusing for him because he just sees it as laziness and me getting distracted. But it’s not that i genuinely struggle I think it’s gotten to the point where I feel as thought I have to tell him for him to understand but I find it embarrassing and shameful.

Especially as Pakistanis I feel as though there is less understanding for these things in our communities and to brown boys they might just pass it off as wth Im disabled when I don’t see it like that as im a normal functioning person and no one would know unless I told them.

I have never told anyone that I may have it not even my best friend only my family and my teachers know and I am on the waiting list to get diagnosed I was meant to be at 16 but now I’ve reached 18 they put me onto the adult waiting list and I have to wait another two years.
I feel really ashamed if I say it because im scared of how he will react and what he will think of me. What if he automatically then subconsciously labels me as something else and what if it scares him off.

I really need help because I just feel like I need to tell him today I tried passing it off to him that I just have concentration issues but he obvs keeps asking more and knows im hiding something. He was asking me am i embarrassed of whatever it is and I had to lie and said no and that I would tell him today but I am.
I need help

Reply 1

I honestly believe in being open and upfront and then going forward once you experience the persons reaction to your news, I don’t think you should be embarrassed at all, not for one single second, my daughter is ADHD and has similar struggles, and my advice to her would be the same, if your boyfriend is anything but supportive, loving and caring then you really need to think about whether this person is right for you! Would you want your future child to be with someone who found their condition an embarrassment? Or would you want him/her to feel loved and supported by their significant other? Good luck and keep us updated ☺️

Reply 2

Original post
by Its_zainab
I’m an 18yrs old F and have been struggling a lot the past few years with undiagnosed adhd it’s affects my life a lot from doing simple tasks to focusing on assignments and it’s something I am really struggling to come to terms that I may have.
I have been talking to a guy for a year now and when it comes to things like focusing on doing my work and it taking me hours to even write a simple paragraph it is obviously really confusing for him because he just sees it as laziness and me getting distracted. But it’s not that i genuinely struggle I think it’s gotten to the point where I feel as thought I have to tell him for him to understand but I find it embarrassing and shameful.
Especially as Pakistanis I feel as though there is less understanding for these things in our communities and to brown boys they might just pass it off as wth Im disabled when I don’t see it like that as im a normal functioning person and no one would know unless I told them.
I have never told anyone that I may have it not even my best friend only my family and my teachers know and I am on the waiting list to get diagnosed I was meant to be at 16 but now I’ve reached 18 they put me onto the adult waiting list and I have to wait another two years.
I feel really ashamed if I say it because im scared of how he will react and what he will think of me. What if he automatically then subconsciously labels me as something else and what if it scares him off.
I really need help because I just feel like I need to tell him today I tried passing it off to him that I just have concentration issues but he obvs keeps asking more and knows im hiding something. He was asking me am i embarrassed of whatever it is and I had to lie and said no and that I would tell him today but I am.
I need help

I want you to answer my question does he love you for you? Or is there things about you that would put him off about you? Because if it’s the latter then that’s not true love. I’m afraid I am sorry but that’s not love. You don’t pinpoint out an insecurity of a person and find that a red flag or something bad to you in which it’ll result in you no longer receiving affection because it’s your character and personality and type of person to whom you are you should be being judged for not for something that makes you feel insecure.

Reply 3

it should not be matter of embarrasement to tell your boyfriend about your ADHD
my daughter has two eye diseases, I would want her to be upfront and honest with her future partner
(edited 2 months ago)

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