Completely alone seven weeks in

Seven weeks in and I've not made any friends. I have a few people's snap and this one lad who is quite socially anxious asked if I want to hang out after half term. So I'm doing something right. Although not sure with him as he does have anxiety and telling hwhether he wants me to chat with him online or leave him alone is hard.

I just want to create a bit of a plan I guess before I go back.

I have had extremely bad luck in my classes and plonked myself next to every student that's effectively mute. I can't move because our seating arrangements are final. The people in the class who talk went to secondary together and are good in groups. There's this one girl who is really sweet and alone and I think we'd get on but she's over the other side and I don't want to hunt her down.

I've been going to library a lot but obviously everyone there studies so I'm not going to interrupt. The college has a few clubs but not many because they're student led. The college also has a mentoring scheme. I think I'm going to sign up to. I'm struggling with certain topics anyway and it might expand my social circle but I am a bit nervous I've left it too late as this was offered weeks ago.

All my secondary friends are miles away because I moved and it's a bit lonely seeing them all have Halloween parties to go to.I'm quite sad and I don't think my counselors at school will get it.

Reply 1

Bokujo_Mongatari

Sorry if this sounds like oversimplifying your problem but my experience of acquaintances in college and university is most are temporary. Their 'friendships' are a matter of utility and probably cause them more stress than anything due to their superficiality. They have acquaintances not friends. I did not get on with my classmates at all: that was their problem, not mine. You are describing this situations as though college/uni societies and the limited number of people in your class are your only options. You seem smart, but are not seeing the big picture here. Go to pubs - it's even better if you hang around there an become a known face - it might take days or weeks but eventually you'll find people you click with. It's a matter of personal chemistry but most importantly the turnaround; it's a numbers game.

Reply 2

Kingston Zhi En

Official Rep

Original post

by Anonymous

Seven weeks in and I've not made any friends. I have a few people's snap and this one lad who is quite socially anxious asked if I want to hang out after half term. So I'm doing something right. Although not sure with him as he does have anxiety and telling hwhether he wants me to chat with him online or leave him alone is hard.
I just want to create a bit of a plan I guess before I go back.
I have had extremely bad luck in my classes and plonked myself next to every student that's effectively mute. I can't move because our seating arrangements are final. The people in the class who talk went to secondary together and are good in groups. There's this one girl who is really sweet and alone and I think we'd get on but she's over the other side and I don't want to hunt her down.
I've been going to library a lot but obviously everyone there studies so I'm not going to interrupt. The college has a few clubs but not many because they're student led. The college also has a mentoring scheme. I think I'm going to sign up to. I'm struggling with certain topics anyway and it might expand my social circle but I am a bit nervous I've left it too late as this was offered weeks ago.
All my secondary friends are miles away because I moved and it's a bit lonely seeing them all have Halloween parties to go to.I'm quite sad and I don't think my counselors at school will get it.

Hi there,
I am so sorry to hear about how you are feeling. These things do take time and it is difficult to form strong connections when people keep to themselves. Sometimes you might not always click with people in your class straight away.

Personally, I only started making close friends through my part-time job as a student ambassador and by joining a society. This allowed me to meet and form connections with people outside of my course 🙂

Why not ask someone out for lunch or ask them a question in class that you are not sure about. These things take time and may seem awkward and uncomfortable at first but thats normal. It is everyone's first time at college too!
I hope this helps and I hope the mentoring sessions go well 🤗

Zhi En
(Kingston Student Rep.)

Reply 3

LJMUStudentReps

Official Rep

Original post

by Anonymous

Seven weeks in and I've not made any friends. I have a few people's snap and this one lad who is quite socially anxious asked if I want to hang out after half term. So I'm doing something right. Although not sure with him as he does have anxiety and telling hwhether he wants me to chat with him online or leave him alone is hard.
I just want to create a bit of a plan I guess before I go back.
I have had extremely bad luck in my classes and plonked myself next to every student that's effectively mute. I can't move because our seating arrangements are final. The people in the class who talk went to secondary together and are good in groups. There's this one girl who is really sweet and alone and I think we'd get on but she's over the other side and I don't want to hunt her down.
I've been going to library a lot but obviously everyone there studies so I'm not going to interrupt. The college has a few clubs but not many because they're student led. The college also has a mentoring scheme. I think I'm going to sign up to. I'm struggling with certain topics anyway and it might expand my social circle but I am a bit nervous I've left it too late as this was offered weeks ago.
All my secondary friends are miles away because I moved and it's a bit lonely seeing them all have Halloween parties to go to.I'm quite sad and I don't think my counselors at school will get it.

Hi,

I’m sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way. It sounds like you’re putting in a lot of effort to settle in, and that’s already a big step in the right direction. It’s completely understandable to feel sad, especially after moving and being away from your old friends.

Joining the mentoring scheme or any clubs is a great idea. It’s never too late to get involved, and these activities provide natural ways to meet people while also supporting your studies.

It may also help to talk to your personal tutor about how you’re feeling. They can offer support, advice, and even help connect you with people or opportunities at college.

Setting up regular calls or meeting up with your old friends can help too, alongside slowly building connections at college. You’re doing the right things, and friendships often take time to develop. Being patient with yourself and taking small steps will make a real difference.

Wishing you all the best,

Tayba
Student Rep