Does anyone miss their ex while having the most amazing bf ever

I dated a guy last year for about 9 months — long for me since my relationships usually last a month max. He was the most attractive guy I’ve been with. The breakup was messy and I hurt him even though he was a good person. I cried for months after, which never happens to me.

Now we’re both moved on. I’m with someone I love deeply and would never leave — he treats me amazingly.

But I still get confused sometimes:

• I feel happy when my ex messages
• I get anxious if he replies slowly, relieved when he does
• I never reach out first or care when we’re not talking
• If he tried to come back, I would shut it down immediately

Sometimes I check his online status or his girlfriend’s TikTok, but I genuinely do wish them well — she seems like a great woman.

Recently I realised something: when I asked him for commitment (telling his parents, marriage), he avoided it. His new girlfriend got that in 3 months… and they’re engaged now.

I don’t want him back. I don’t picture a future with him. I truly love my current partner.

Has anyone else felt like this?

Reply 1

Kathy89

That's great if you are in good relationship after breaking up.

I completely relate to what you say. I'm the same. However, I'm bi and poly, so it is understandable.

I treat it more like, they are different and it is different love, and sometimes I do miss what I had with my ex, but it doesn't mean I want to come back to him. It is more like, that part of the relationship was great, but we broke up for a reason and we have to remember that.

Reply 2

Crazy Jamie

Emotional connections don't just disappear when you break up with someone, and you won't stop having emotional reactions to people and the things that they do just because you're in a relationship with someone. Everything you've described is pretty normal. Chances are that as time goes on those reactions and feelings will lessen to the point where they may disappear entirely. But a year or so removed from a quite intense 9 month relationship, this is all normal.

Reply 3

alexandrughitan

I had a similar 'problem' a while ago and it got me into **** with my then gf but it really just takes time before you lose feelings, from a week to even a year

Reply 4

Kathy89

Original post

by alexandrughitan

I had a similar 'problem' a while ago and it got me into **** with my then gf but it really just takes time before you lose feelings, from a week to even a year

Idk, it's been several years already and I still have feelings, different feelings, but still. It is more than what you feel towards just a friend.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post

by Lil_Lilz

I dated a guy last year for about 9 months — long for me since my relationships usually last a month max. He was the most attractive guy I’ve been with. The breakup was messy and I hurt him even though he was a good person. I cried for months after, which never happens to me.
Now we’re both moved on. I’m with someone I love deeply and would never leave — he treats me amazingly.
But I still get confused sometimes:
• I feel happy when my ex messages
• I get anxious if he replies slowly, relieved when he does
• I never reach out first or care when we’re not talking
• If he tried to come back, I would shut it down immediately
Sometimes I check his online status or his girlfriend’s TikTok, but I genuinely do wish them well — she seems like a great woman.
Recently I realised something: when I asked him for commitment (telling his parents, marriage), he avoided it. His new girlfriend got that in 3 months… and they’re engaged now.
I don’t want him back. I don’t picture a future with him. I truly love my current partner.
Has anyone else felt like this?

I miss my partner. She split up with me at the start of the year after she told me she had enough it was becoming overwhelming for her and that she needed space mentally. That I couldn’t see her no more, even talk to her this was a 3 and a half year relationship we met when she was 19 and I was 21. And I waited 3 and a half years of my life because I wanted to marry her and her only. This year has endured to be the worst year of my life. I feel so lonely, empty and depressed. I am holding back and fighting back tears hidden underneath my eyes. I don’t believe I will ever find someone else, nor can I give my trust to someone else after my heart, feelings got led and played. And I don’t believe I will find love ever again. All our memories I had to delete and throw because it was getting too much :frown:

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