marking

i was wondering if anyone could give me a mark out of 30 - I do AQA gcse but i dont really mind any personal opinions and markings on this. The questions is:

Starting with this extract, explore how Dickens presents the importance of kindness in a Christmas carol.

Write about:

-how dickens presents kindness in this extract
-how dickens presents the importance of kindness in the novel as a whole

The extract is the stave 3 extract starting with 'At last the dinner was all done.....' ending with “I’ll give you Mr. Scrooge, the Founder of the Feast!”

Throughout the novella, Charles dickens intentionally constructs kindness as an ideology to be taken in with immediate effects afterwards. What will result from this is being accepted by society. He does this to critique the Victorian era what is needed.

Throughout the extract, Dickens presents scrooge as experiencing a metamorphosis. When the ghost of Christmas past mentioned scrooges former words embodying Malthusian ideology 'decrease the surplus population...', Scrooge 'hung his head' showing clear regret. This moment signifies the awakening of kindness within Scrooge, as his regret reveals an emerging sense of compassion for others. Furthermore, towards the end of the play scrooge says 'I am as light as a feather, i am as happy as an angel...'.This lightness of the soul that he feels can be attributed to Plato's theory of the negative part of the soul (the epithumetikon), so the lightness he feels is literally physical and negative part of his soul is leaving him and the outcome of that would be feeling so 'happy' it can be said that he is as 'happy as an angel'. The shackles of being isolated and outcasted were freed. Perhaps dickens does this to exemplify to the Victorian era what was needed and to show the blessings they will receive after.

Additionally, Dickens in the beginning of the novella describes Scrooge as 'hard and sharp as a a flint', perhaps trying to show that everyone could revert to this state of being of 'flint'. Flint could be used to start fires therefore suggesting that Scrooge has the potential to release a certain type of warmth to become once again integrated within society. In the extract the mention of the 'fire' being 'made up', is employed to demonstrate the disparity between the Cratchit family and Scrooge. Where the Cratchit family is already experiencing this constant state of warmth, kindness and camaraderie, Scrooge is isolated and has been living his life 'solitary as an oyster'. It could be suggested that Dickens does this to critique the Victorian Era what exactly was wrong.

Lastly, In stave 3, Scrooge feels a sort of attachment and closeness towards Tiny Tim, as shown through his imperative sentence, "Tell me if Tiny Tim will live.". Scrooge shows concern for Tiny Tim, a whole other persons wellbeing rather than his own; he is no longer detached, but emotionally invested in the child’s life. By mentioning that Tiny Tim may die if “if these shadows remain unaltered by the Future...”,Scrooge is forced to confront the idea selfishness and neglect and abandon it if he wants to save Tim's life . Ultimately, towards the end of the novel Scrooge had become a 'Second father' to Tiny Tim, highlighting that his concern for Tim was actually a catalyst and awakening for his own capabilities, kindness. Fundamentally, Scrooge is showing that kindness is a moral duty rather than simply a virtue as if Scrooge had not changed, Tiny Tim would' have died - similar to that of how the Victorian era was to end; if they would not change and embody kindness, everyone around them and society as a whole would lead to damnation.

Reply 1

nikiiiiiii

Original post

by gmbaox

i was wondering if anyone could give me a mark out of 30 - I do AQA gcse but i dont really mind any personal opinions and markings on this. The questions is:
Starting with this extract, explore how Dickens presents the importance of kindness in a Christmas carol.
Write about:
-how dickens presents kindness in this extract
-how dickens presents the importance of kindness in the novel as a whole
The extract is the stave 3 extract starting with 'At last the dinner was all done.....' ending with “I’ll give you Mr. Scrooge, the Founder of the Feast!”
Throughout the novella, Charles dickens intentionally constructs kindness as an ideology to be taken in with immediate effects afterwards. What will result from this is being accepted by society. He does this to critique the Victorian era what is needed.
Throughout the extract, Dickens presents scrooge as experiencing a metamorphosis. When the ghost of Christmas past mentioned scrooges former words embodying Malthusian ideology 'decrease the surplus population...', Scrooge 'hung his head' showing clear regret. This moment signifies the awakening of kindness within Scrooge, as his regret reveals an emerging sense of compassion for others. Furthermore, towards the end of the play scrooge says 'I am as light as a feather, i am as happy as an angel...'.This lightness of the soul that he feels can be attributed to Plato's theory of the negative part of the soul (the epithumetikon), so the lightness he feels is literally physical and negative part of his soul is leaving him and the outcome of that would be feeling so 'happy' it can be said that he is as 'happy as an angel'. The shackles of being isolated and outcasted were freed. Perhaps dickens does this to exemplify to the Victorian era what was needed and to show the blessings they will receive after.
Additionally, Dickens in the beginning of the novella describes Scrooge as 'hard and sharp as a a flint', perhaps trying to show that everyone could revert to this state of being of 'flint'. Flint could be used to start fires therefore suggesting that Scrooge has the potential to release a certain type of warmth to become once again integrated within society. In the extract the mention of the 'fire' being 'made up', is employed to demonstrate the disparity between the Cratchit family and Scrooge. Where the Cratchit family is already experiencing this constant state of warmth, kindness and camaraderie, Scrooge is isolated and has been living his life 'solitary as an oyster'. It could be suggested that Dickens does this to critique the Victorian Era what exactly was wrong.
Lastly, In stave 3, Scrooge feels a sort of attachment and closeness towards Tiny Tim, as shown through his imperative sentence, "Tell me if Tiny Tim will live.". Scrooge shows concern for Tiny Tim, a whole other persons wellbeing rather than his own; he is no longer detached, but emotionally invested in the child’s life. By mentioning that Tiny Tim may die if “if these shadows remain unaltered by the Future...”,Scrooge is forced to confront the idea selfishness and neglect and abandon it if he wants to save Tim's life . Ultimately, towards the end of the novel Scrooge had become a 'Second father' to Tiny Tim, highlighting that his concern for Tim was actually a catalyst and awakening for his own capabilities, kindness. Fundamentally, Scrooge is showing that kindness is a moral duty rather than simply a virtue as if Scrooge had not changed, Tiny Tim would' have died - similar to that of how the Victorian era was to end; if they would not change and embody kindness, everyone around them and society as a whole would lead to damnation.

Hi, I'm not sure what mark this would be but I can share my opinions and advice as someone who got a 9 in lit.

I think you have a good understanding of the text and have good ideas (I especially like your analysis of positive connotations of "flint") but could improve the way you present your ideas/ structure your essay.

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Some of your points are too vague and could be rewritten to clarify what exactly you mean. I would try to limit the use of the word "this" as it can be confusing as in your introduction. The final sentences of your 1st and 2nd paragraphs should be more clear to make sure they are a strong conclusion to your points - instead of the vague "what was needed", "what was wrong", explain what those things are. (The final sentence of the second paragraph is also not dramatically correct) For example : Perhaps dickens does this to exemplify to the Victorian era that more kindness is needed in society and to show the blessings they will receive after.

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I would recommend that you use a key word from the question or a synonym - in this case "kindness" - in the opening and/or closing lines to each paragraph to make sure you stay on topic and to show how each point links directly to the question.

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I think that before adding in philosophical ideas, you could focus on analysing word choice/methods used. For example, you could mention that it's a similar, or explore the connotations of "light" with hope and safety, or the link between "angels" and heaven which implies he is completely at peace/his kindness brings him closer to heaven/God. Also, if you do choose to write about Plato (which I wouldn't advise - although it is an interesting connection it needs too much explanation) try to use more tentative language instead of stating it as fact.

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I'd recommend naming more techniques as the only one you've identified is an imperative. State of something is a simile, metaphor, foreshadowing. And name the types of words your analysing - "this adjective/adverb" shows..."

I think you clearly know the novella well, so I would focus your revision on practising writing. Hope this was helpful - sorry I couldn't give it a mark.