First boyfriend advice?

Im 17(F) and my boyfriend is 16(M)
He's my first serious relationship and i like him a lot. I see him regularly and we are very comfortable with each other but hes very forward...if u get what i mean. im not saying i dont like it, i reciprocate the energy sometimes but other times i just want us to hang out and talk but he wants to do other things. I like doing other things sometimes just not all the time and i just dont know how to tell him. I know if I do i hope he'll be understanding but i just dont know how to speak up. I feel like i should be able to, especcially since im older. Another thing is we've only been dating for 2 months so im not really looking for problems or arguments rn coz i want the relationship to work.
What do i do 😭😭

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Original post

by Anonymous

Im 17(F) and my boyfriend is 16(M)
He's my first serious relationship and i like him a lot. I see him regularly and we are very comfortable with each other but hes very forward...if u get what i mean. im not saying i dont like it, i reciprocate the energy sometimes but other times i just want us to hang out and talk but he wants to do other things. I like doing other things sometimes just not all the time and i just dont know how to tell him. I know if I do i hope he'll be understanding but i just dont know how to speak up. I feel like i should be able to, especcially since im older. Another thing is we've only been dating for 2 months so im not really looking for problems or arguments rn coz i want the relationship to work.
What do i do 😭😭

hey

i’ve been through something kinda similar. honestly it’s best to speak up early. It’s way easier now than later when things get more serious. in my last relationship i did tell him about an issue and he always said he’d change but never did. i kept hoping he would but i ended up breaking up with him last month. I really wish i’d done it sooner. It hurt way more the longer i waited.

so yeah, don’t be scared tbh. If he respects how you feel, that’s a really good sign. if he doesn’t, then that says a lot about him. just keep it simple like “hey i love spending time with you but sometimes i just wanna chill and talk too.” if he’s the right person, he’ll get it :smile:

Reply 2

Anonymous #3

i think its okay and u should just tell him gently, bc theres nothing wrong with wanting a little space

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post

by Anonymous

hey

i’ve been through something kinda similar. honestly it’s best to speak up early. It’s way easier now than later when things get more serious. in my last relationship i did tell him about an issue and he always said he’d change but never did. i kept hoping he would but i ended up breaking up with him last month. I really wish i’d done it sooner. It hurt way more the longer i waited.
so yeah, don’t be scared tbh. If he respects how you feel, that’s a really good sign. if he doesn’t, then that says a lot about him. just keep it simple like “hey i love spending time with you but sometimes i just wanna chill and talk too.” if he’s the right person, he’ll get it :smile:

Tyyyy.. Im just kinda scared because i've been giving a lot of the same evergy and if i say something now he'll wonder where the switch up is coming from.
Hes told me he likes me for more than what we do but im just an overthinker tbh, i know he likes me for me (hopefully) but u never really know like, what if he just wants that kind of relationship but i cant give that to him so he loses interest?

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post

by Anonymous

i think its okay and u should just tell him gently, bc theres nothing wrong with wanting a little space

thank uuu i think im going to try coz its better earlier than later

Reply 5

Crazy Jamie

19

Original post

by Anonymous

what if he just wants that kind of relationship but i cant give that to him so he loses interest?

Then the relationship will end because you're not compatible, and you'll go on to find someone who is compatible with you. It is never a good idea to do anything, and most certainly to do things you're not comfortable with, solely for the sake of making a relationship 'work'. If you feel pressured or compelled to do things that you do not want to do, even if that isn't overtly coming from him, then the relationship is not working, and that's a problem that needs to be fixed. If it cannot be, the relationship ends.

It's hardly unusual for sixteen year old boys in relationships to be sex obsessed. You just need to be entirely clear with him, and make it clear that sometimes you want to do other things. You can phrase that however you want, but the most important thing is that you are clear and don't tiptoe around it. Because up to this point he may entirely reasonably not really be considering to what degree you're into this degree of intimacy because he assumes you're into all of it. If you want to give him the chance to adapt to your needs, he needs to know what those are. So tell him.

First boyfriend advice?

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