Yearning for my old friend group
This is a hard post for me to make because it still hurts so much, but basically I still really miss my old friend group from secondary school, and I feel like I will never have a friend group that supportive and welcoming again.
For context, I have always felt different to those around me, and like I have to try double as hard to fit in. Except in that friend group. I felt accepted truly for who I was and that I could really just let the mask down and be myself. And I have been longing for that feeling again, I just don't know where I am going to find another friend group like that now that I am at uni.
At school together, there was one set schedule, so we saw each other at the same times in the same places every single day. Now, its not so easy to make friends and maintain those friendships. Also, back then I was able to be myself because I was still a child, now I feel like I have to be an adult and focus on fitting into society, even if it comes at the cost of boxing in my personality a bit.
I just don't know what to do anymore. I just feel like I'm unable to be myself around anyone, and this is making me feel so isolated and like I don't know where to turn to.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who is also yearning for a time they can never get back, but let me know, have you ever felt this way?
For context, I have always felt different to those around me, and like I have to try double as hard to fit in. Except in that friend group. I felt accepted truly for who I was and that I could really just let the mask down and be myself. And I have been longing for that feeling again, I just don't know where I am going to find another friend group like that now that I am at uni.
At school together, there was one set schedule, so we saw each other at the same times in the same places every single day. Now, its not so easy to make friends and maintain those friendships. Also, back then I was able to be myself because I was still a child, now I feel like I have to be an adult and focus on fitting into society, even if it comes at the cost of boxing in my personality a bit.
I just don't know what to do anymore. I just feel like I'm unable to be myself around anyone, and this is making me feel so isolated and like I don't know where to turn to.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who is also yearning for a time they can never get back, but let me know, have you ever felt this way?
Reply 1
How do you feel different to those around you?
How would you describe your personality?
Why do you feel that you can't be yourself around anyone now? What do you think would happen if you were yourself?
I think you'd gain a lot by reading Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now (you should be able to get it via your local library). It's a flawed book, but the main message is very powerful and would be of huge benefit to you now.
How would you describe your personality?
Why do you feel that you can't be yourself around anyone now? What do you think would happen if you were yourself?
I think you'd gain a lot by reading Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now (you should be able to get it via your local library). It's a flawed book, but the main message is very powerful and would be of huge benefit to you now.
Reply 2
5
Thanks for the suggestion, seems like it could be a great insight. I've just done a search and my library has the book so I think I'll get it.
For your questions, I think it goes back to my early years of secondary school. I was loud and excitable and eccentric, basically what you would describe as annoying. And I payed the price for it. People would tease me because I was an easy target or tell me to shut up which I eventually learned to. And to hide my 'uncool' interests for fear of them being made fun of. I fear that if I show my loud personality or my nerdy interests people would not want to be friends with me. And the friends that I have made would go. In my mind the only way that is acceptable to be is the quote unquote normal girl, with all the same mannerisms, the same clothes, the same interests. And if I just tried harder I could fit in. But a part of me is desperate to break free from that and just be accepted for myself.
For your questions, I think it goes back to my early years of secondary school. I was loud and excitable and eccentric, basically what you would describe as annoying. And I payed the price for it. People would tease me because I was an easy target or tell me to shut up which I eventually learned to. And to hide my 'uncool' interests for fear of them being made fun of. I fear that if I show my loud personality or my nerdy interests people would not want to be friends with me. And the friends that I have made would go. In my mind the only way that is acceptable to be is the quote unquote normal girl, with all the same mannerisms, the same clothes, the same interests. And if I just tried harder I could fit in. But a part of me is desperate to break free from that and just be accepted for myself.
Reply 3
Wow I was the opposite
Reply 4
Original post
by EuropeanIAmWow I was the opposite
Wow you’re so different and cool 👀
Reply 5
Original post
by AnonymousWow you’re so different and cool 👀
Going anon to ***** yeah?
Reply 6
You will have a group more supportive in the future because you are young enough to still make a load of new friends and in my experience people are worst when younger.
Reply 7
Original post
by harapeco_23This is a hard post for me to make because it still hurts so much, but basically I still really miss my old friend group from secondary school, and I feel like I will never have a friend group that supportive and welcoming again.
For context, I have always felt different to those around me, and like I have to try double as hard to fit in. Except in that friend group. I felt accepted truly for who I was and that I could really just let the mask down and be myself. And I have been longing for that feeling again, I just don't know where I am going to find another friend group like that now that I am at uni.
At school together, there was one set schedule, so we saw each other at the same times in the same places every single day. Now, its not so easy to make friends and maintain those friendships. Also, back then I was able to be myself because I was still a child, now I feel like I have to be an adult and focus on fitting into society, even if it comes at the cost of boxing in my personality a bit.
I just don't know what to do anymore. I just feel like I'm unable to be myself around anyone, and this is making me feel so isolated and like I don't know where to turn to.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who is also yearning for a time they can never get back, but let me know, have you ever felt this way?
For context, I have always felt different to those around me, and like I have to try double as hard to fit in. Except in that friend group. I felt accepted truly for who I was and that I could really just let the mask down and be myself. And I have been longing for that feeling again, I just don't know where I am going to find another friend group like that now that I am at uni.
At school together, there was one set schedule, so we saw each other at the same times in the same places every single day. Now, its not so easy to make friends and maintain those friendships. Also, back then I was able to be myself because I was still a child, now I feel like I have to be an adult and focus on fitting into society, even if it comes at the cost of boxing in my personality a bit.
I just don't know what to do anymore. I just feel like I'm unable to be myself around anyone, and this is making me feel so isolated and like I don't know where to turn to.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who is also yearning for a time they can never get back, but let me know, have you ever felt this way?
Missing that comfort doesn’t mean you won’t find it again. You’re not doing anything wrong you’re just in a new stage of life where routines aren’t automatic anymore. Plenty of people only find their real long-term friends later in uni or even after uni.
Try to give yourself some space to relax into things. You don’t need to “act like an adult” all the time or hide your personality. The right people won’t need you to mask. It just takes longer to find them when everyone’s schedules and lives are more spread out.
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