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I feel so unhappy with my course

So I wanted to become a primary school teacher for a long time. However last year when doing university applications I realised that I couldn’t do a degree in Primary Education, it really upset me because my route into the role I wanted to go into wasn’t as straightforward as I thought it would be. This is due to the fact that it is required to have a pass in a science GCSE, I have passed everything except this.

I considered doing a gap year and resitting my science for a long time. But I felt a bit pressured by my family at the time and wanted to make them feel proud by attending university, and also I felt like I would become depressed in a gap year. I got into a course through clearing (International Politics) which was a very sudden decision. I thought I’d be happy however I’ve been disliking my course so much despite enjoying politics at A-level and getting a B in it.

On the first induction day I went home crying because I disliked it so much and wanted to drop out on the first week. Before I started it I had a lot of high hopes for it and was quite excited. however I just dislike uni so much and it’s not even about the social life or the school itself or anything. I’ve struggled with my very first assignments and have very little motivation to do any uni work. I spoke to my sibling and was told that it’s just how uni is and it’s not supposed to be fun or enjoyable and to just firm it and stick through until the end.

I genuinely feel so trapped because if I do drop out I don’t even have anything else to do in life. And I need a degree to become a teacher (which I’m not even entirely sure if I want to do anymore) but I just feel like higher education isn’t for me. And a degree apprenticeship or something is way too stressful for me to handle I can barely handle uni. I feel so lost on what to do it’s making me so depressed.

Reply 1

Original post
by Anonymous
So I wanted to become a primary school teacher for a long time. However last year when doing university applications I realised that I couldn’t do a degree in Primary Education, it really upset me because my route into the role I wanted to go into wasn’t as straightforward as I thought it would be. This is due to the fact that it is required to have a pass in a science GCSE, I have passed everything except this.
I considered doing a gap year and resitting my science for a long time. But I felt a bit pressured by my family at the time and wanted to make them feel proud by attending university, and also I felt like I would become depressed in a gap year. I got into a course through clearing (International Politics) which was a very sudden decision. I thought I’d be happy however I’ve been disliking my course so much despite enjoying politics at A-level and getting a B in it.
On the first induction day I went home crying because I disliked it so much and wanted to drop out on the first week. Before I started it I had a lot of high hopes for it and was quite excited. however I just dislike uni so much and it’s not even about the social life or the school itself or anything. I’ve struggled with my very first assignments and have very little motivation to do any uni work. I spoke to my sibling and was told that it’s just how uni is and it’s not supposed to be fun or enjoyable and to just firm it and stick through until the end.
I genuinely feel so trapped because if I do drop out I don’t even have anything else to do in life. And I need a degree to become a teacher (which I’m not even entirely sure if I want to do anymore) but I just feel like higher education isn’t for me. And a degree apprenticeship or something is way too stressful for me to handle I can barely handle uni. I feel so lost on what to do it’s making me so depressed.

Hi there! I just want to say, it's going to be ok. I have been there; I dropped out as well. BUT I want to let you know that other people have been in the same shoes. I was pressured into doing physics, and I was bawling my eyes out by 2nd week. Looking back on it, that was my immature mistake to listen to myself.

I think it's important to establish your problems. What course are you doing? Are you 100% sure you do not want to do this? Do not let other people's opinions sway you. That's what happened to me. If you are 100% sure, do you want to drop out now or stick with it? Is it a difficulty problem? Have you made friends or assimilated well? Is there anything outside of pure academics that might be affecting you?

Now the solutions. There are many ways you can go about this. You can stick with the course and see how it works for you (unless you're 100000% sure you won't do it). I do not recommend dropping out because of difficulty. That is the one advice I can give you. You can kind of take a "gap year". What I mean by this is that you can register with a school to see if you can sit the required science GCSE and then also reapply in this academic cycle. You also do not need to drop out of university. You can either juggle all of this together with your course right now, so you at least have a backup or just take out a year (yes, universities allow this, and it won't cost you more money).

My last advice is, do not give up when it gets hard. It will always get hard. I learnt it the hard way. I thought that by changing universities, the coursework or exams would be easier. It did not change. What needed to change was me. I realised I was pitying myself too much and that I would blame everything but myself. Times do get rough. I've had days where I sat in my room sobbing, but 3 years later. I would comfortably say this is due to immaturity. In my opinion, a lot of people do not mature fast enough because of how early we go to university. Take some time. You have LOTS of options. It is not the end of the world. Do not worry, it all works out. This is just a hurdle in your life that you might struggle with, but you'll definitely get past.

Reply 2

Original post
by trystar123
Hi there! I just want to say, it's going to be ok. I have been there; I dropped out as well. BUT I want to let you know that other people have been in the same shoes. I was pressured into doing physics, and I was bawling my eyes out by 2nd week. Looking back on it, that was my immature mistake to listen to myself.
I think it's important to establish your problems. What course are you doing? Are you 100% sure you do not want to do this? Do not let other people's opinions sway you. That's what happened to me. If you are 100% sure, do you want to drop out now or stick with it? Is it a difficulty problem? Have you made friends or assimilated well? Is there anything outside of pure academics that might be affecting you?
Now the solutions. There are many ways you can go about this. You can stick with the course and see how it works for you (unless you're 100000% sure you won't do it). I do not recommend dropping out because of difficulty. That is the one advice I can give you. You can kind of take a "gap year". What I mean by this is that you can register with a school to see if you can sit the required science GCSE and then also reapply in this academic cycle. You also do not need to drop out of university. You can either juggle all of this together with your course right now, so you at least have a backup or just take out a year (yes, universities allow this, and it won't cost you more money).
My last advice is, do not give up when it gets hard. It will always get hard. I learnt it the hard way. I thought that by changing universities, the coursework or exams would be easier. It did not change. What needed to change was me. I realised I was pitying myself too much and that I would blame everything but myself. Times do get rough. I've had days where I sat in my room sobbing, but 3 years later. I would comfortably say this is due to immaturity. In my opinion, a lot of people do not mature fast enough because of how early we go to university. Take some time. You have LOTS of options. It is not the end of the world. Do not worry, it all works out. This is just a hurdle in your life that you might struggle with, but you'll definitely get past.


Thank you for your response. Dropping out was honestly my biggest fear even before starting uni. I feel like I have made friends but they’re just uni friends it doesn’t really go much outside of that because we are all home students, which I don’t really mind and the Uni itself is okay.

I realise that all degrees are difficult and that by changing course and going through all the effort of dropping out and doing something else I will still face the same difficulties. I think my main issue is that I have always disliked school and Uni is very independent, I find it really overwhelming. And also I find the work difficult which makes me worried for the next two years and really demotivates me.

I am worried that if I do continue uni if i drop out or fail mid way through I can’t go back to uni as easy in comparison to just dropping out after first year.

Sorry if what I’m saying seems really confusing it’s because I’m confused and have so much on my mind that it’s really stressing me out.

But anyways to summarise I just find higher education itself very stressful and overwhelming I’m not really sure if it’s for me, and if it’s not I just don’t know what else ill do in life if I don’t continue the higher education route. :frown:

Reply 3

hi!! also wanted to give some thoughts on this -- I'm a gap year student with deferred entry for next year. although our experiences might not align but hopefully I can help a little:

1.

both being a primary school teacher and studying International Politics / higher education is very impressive and shouldn't contradict one another! as the previous comment suggested, you can still retake GCSE science without dropping out of university if you're still hesitant to do so. in fact, it might give you more motivation because you know you're working towards multiple great things! (not sure about workload though)

2.

although I haven't yet been to uni myself, I've been catching up with some of my friends who went and they're all struggling a lot with balancing life (which is totally normal bc it's everyone's first time being left with so much freedom / independant work!) I'd say, gathering info from my friends, that though there are rough times, there are good memories too. for example, joining random societies and meeting random people from other courses made my friends so much more comfortable! though I too am quite worried about my uni not meeting my expectations next year.. but all in all I'd say that uni (at least first year) is meant to be enjoyable, bc technically, the people you meet + live with (if you're in dorms) will be your network for the next 10 years. if you feel like theres room for improvement, I'd say stay for now, if not, you still have until January to reapply + until June to retake GCSEs!!

3.

more on the gap year side of things -- I'm currently not enjoying it as well as I though I would. I applied for deferred entry, but that was only because my family cannot afford international student tuition so I have to wait a year until I get citizenship. It was a sudden decision for me too, and I had absolutely nothing in plan. I thought it would be easy to get a job bc I'm young and quite literally eager to do anything, but it's so competitive out here that I haven't even heard back from 98% of these employers (min wage jobs btw). if your family is quite financially comfortable, I'd say you wouldn't have much to worry about gap years as most fun activities will be available as long as you can afford it (some of my classmates are volunteering / solo travelling abroad). So yeah, ig this would be one concern to thing about gap years. but if you do decide to take a break & need a travel companion do let me know!! I'm dying to leave my house

4.

for education / teaching I wouldn't recommend degree apprenticeships either, they really do expect a lot from their apprentices (for me it was engineering employers -- horrible competition) on the other hand, I would recommend that if you do take a year out, reapply for uni + maybe do some childcare / emergency aid courses at a local college (e.g. south thames college group if you're based in london, many are free for 19+). I wanted to babysit part time at a childcare place and they were quite strict on having these qualifications so I'd say definitely get a headstart on this!! even do work experience if you can!!

5.

based off of the fact that you said Int. Politics was a sudden decision, I def think that you have it harder than your peers who knew what they were getting into, so don't worry if you feel discouraged / behind. if you really can't handle it, I'd say come up with a detailed plan (e.g. retake GCSE science + childcare qualifications + extra random hobbies + possible work + possible reapplying for different uni) for your next few months and your parents will be just as proud! imo I'd want my child to feel like they have a sense of direction / motivation in what they want to pursue, than working too hard on something that they don't feel drawn to.


Sorry for the rambling but I'd just like to end with saying that both uni and gap year have downsides, I definitely feel really lost in my gap year rn and have absolutely lost my sense of direction, but if uni really isn't the right thing for you right now, I would recommend taking a break and restarting with more confidence and control over what you want to do and where you want to go. If you reapply for uni + tell the unis what you've done in your gap year for your goal, I think they'll find it really impressive too. Remember, it's everyones first time making all these big decisions, so it's definitely not a bad thing to stop and really make sure this is the path you want to go along. I wish u all the best and good luck with whatever decision you make! :smile:

Reply 4

Original post
by purplecheese
Thank you for your response. Dropping out was honestly my biggest fear even before starting uni. I feel like I have made friends but they’re just uni friends it doesn’t really go much outside of that because we are all home students, which I don’t really mind and the Uni itself is okay.
I realise that all degrees are difficult and that by changing course and going through all the effort of dropping out and doing something else I will still face the same difficulties. I think my main issue is that I have always disliked school and Uni is very independent, I find it really overwhelming. And also I find the work difficult which makes me worried for the next two years and really demotivates me.
I am worried that if I do continue uni if i drop out or fail mid way through I can’t go back to uni as easy in comparison to just dropping out after first year.
Sorry if what I’m saying seems really confusing it’s because I’m confused and have so much on my mind that it’s really stressing me out.
But anyways to summarise I just find higher education itself very stressful and overwhelming I’m not really sure if it’s for me, and if it’s not I just don’t know what else ill do in life if I don’t continue the higher education route. :frown:

No, it's completely ok to feel like that. You realise a lot more students think of dropping out than you think.

You can still develop deeper relationships with your friends through things like video games. Surely, you have a group chat? In my experience, university feels a lot more comfortable when you make friends. If you have problems, you can ask them.

Like I said, I've dropped out and I'm at university again, but I had a moment where I said, "I hate university," and that it was too independent. HOWEVER, time is the best healer. You just haven't assimilated into university life. I also want to point out that, first year doesn't count. The hardest year is 2nd year, in which it'll count for a relatively small amount to your degree. It's the third year that matters, but by then, most of what you do is what YOU pick.

Like I said, I've been there. I've had sleepless nights, wondering about everything. I went home crying. I said how I hated university, I hated the people there, and I was worried that it was the end of my academic journey. I thought I would disappoint my family, become a laughing stock when my friends heard, and waste money. I was VERY confused as well. It had me contemplating everything. You should not be worried about failing; it's very hard to fail. There are methods universities employ that stop you from failing unless your goal is to fail, and I can tell you as someone who was in those shoes before, university gets better.

Sorry, I feel like I'm going on a tangent here. To respond to your last bit. Yes, university is stressful, but it's also an opportunity to grow up. Going through these things is a part of life. You initially wanted to be in higher education. That is what YOU desire. Don't give up the dream. Like I said, there are many ways to do this. You can reapply and stay at the same university if you are too worried. I'm still at university but have experienced the same problem. I can tell you from my perspective. My biggest regret was not trying and giving up too quickly. If you failed after all your efforts, that's OK! You can restart. There are plenty of people, including myself, who started university a bit later than the traditional 18/19 year olds. The best way to put it is, you'll find your own path. Who cares about others. This is your life. In the UK, we're blessed that we can repeat things like education.

Reply 5

Hi there,

I’m really sorry to hear how difficult things have been for you. It sounds like you’ve been carrying a lot of pressure, and that can make any decision feel overwhelming. I want to reassure you that you don’t need to give up on teaching if it’s still something you want to pursue. Many primary school teachers study completely different subjects for their undergraduate degree and then qualify through a PGCE afterwards. There are also Primary Education degrees with a foundation year, which you could look into.

That said, it’s important to think honestly about whether you can see yourself continuing with your current course for the next three years. There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking a step back, dropping out, or reapplying when you feel ready. And don’t worry about ‘falling behind’ lots of people start university later on, and many actually enjoy it more because they feel more prepared and confident about what they want to study.

University is meant to challenge you at times, but it shouldn’t make you feel constantly stressed, trapped, or emotionally drained. If it’s affecting you this strongly, it’s completely valid to question if it’s the right fit for you.

Before making any big decisions, it could really help to talk things through with staff at your university:

Your module tutor to go over assignments you’re struggling with and understand expectations more clearly.

Your personal tutor to discuss how the course differs from what you enjoyed at A-Level and how it’s impacting your wellbeing.

The wellbeing team for a chat about how you’re feeling and the options available to you.

These conversations can help you figure out whether the issue is the subject itself, the sudden decision through clearing, the transition from A-Levels, or whether higher education just doesn’t feel right at this moment. Once you understand the root of the problem, the next steps become much clearer.

You’re not alone in this, and you don’t need to make any rushed decisions. Communication is key at university you don’t have to solve everything at once, but speaking to someone can make things feel far less overwhelming. Reaching out for support is a really positive first step.

I really hope things get easier soon 😊

Megan (LJMU Rep)

Reply 6

Original post
by trystar123
Hi there! I just want to say, it's going to be ok. I have been there; I dropped out as well. BUT I want to let you know that other people have been in the same shoes. I was pressured into doing physics, and I was bawling my eyes out by 2nd week. Looking back on it, that was my immature mistake to listen to myself.
I think it's important to establish your problems. What course are you doing? Are you 100% sure you do not want to do this? Do not let other people's opinions sway you. That's what happened to me. If you are 100% sure, do you want to drop out now or stick with it? Is it a difficulty problem? Have you made friends or assimilated well? Is there anything outside of pure academics that might be affecting you?
Now the solutions. There are many ways you can go about this. You can stick with the course and see how it works for you (unless you're 100000% sure you won't do it). I do not recommend dropping out because of difficulty. That is the one advice I can give you. You can kind of take a "gap year". What I mean by this is that you can register with a school to see if you can sit the required science GCSE and then also reapply in this academic cycle. You also do not need to drop out of university. You can either juggle all of this together with your course right now, so you at least have a backup or just take out a year (yes, universities allow this, and it won't cost you more money).
My last advice is, do not give up when it gets hard. It will always get hard. I learnt it the hard way. I thought that by changing universities, the coursework or exams would be easier. It did not change. What needed to change was me. I realised I was pitying myself too much and that I would blame everything but myself. Times do get rough. I've had days where I sat in my room sobbing, but 3 years later. I would comfortably say this is due to immaturity. In my opinion, a lot of people do not mature fast enough because of how early we go to university. Take some time. You have LOTS of options. It is not the end of the world. Do not worry, it all works out. This is just a hurdle in your life that you might struggle with, but you'll definitely get past.

I'm also sorry to hear you are going through this.

Looking after yourself is the most important thing to do first before deciding what your next steps are. University isn't for everyone and it is not the only route to a career.

Have you tried volunteering maybe for a local charity, school (give you an idea of the teaching profession), animal shelter or anywhere else that you would be happy to help out and clear your mind? Volunteering can be a lovely way to meet new people, explore different roles and you will feel like you have a purpose.

Open University do all sorts of courses that you could look into, so you're not overwhelming yourself with university routine. Life doesn't need to be linear, and you don't need to please others (including your family) because your decisions are for you and your benefit.

Good luck anyhow!

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