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AITA in this situation?

So, me and my two best friends were becoming friends with this guy in our year, who seemed a really nice guy, and helped balance it out since I was the only boy with two girls. However, this one day I thought he was avoiding me, (for no reason, I hadn't done anything to him), and I texted him about it after school, asking what I'd done. I was a bit angry tbh, but he just blew up in my face. He got really annoyed at me, saying that maybe I should learn to trust people and not be rude, and then stopped speaking to me. He then apparently (not 100% sure how true this is), started spreading rumours about me, like I was homophobic (he's gay, and that statement's totally not true since so am I), and got annoyed with my other friends when they still talked to me. I know I started it, but I just feel like he took it to a whole new level. After a few weeks of this hell, I wrote him a letter, because I just could not pluck up the courage to talk to him face-to-face. I gave it to him along with a chocolate bar, and it bascially said look I'm sorry can we start again? The next day we were working in a group together in class, and it was just me and him (the other two weren't in), and he said thanks for the letter and that we could be "friendly" again. Then, it was the end of the year, and I didn't see him for another 2 months. When we went back to school he actually continued to ignore me, as if nothing had happened, and still got annoyed when the others talked to me. I, sick to death of this, eventually one lunch just sat down on their table and got involved in the conversation. He ignored me at first, but after a while started to talk directly to me and make eye-contact. By the end of lunch we were no longer awkward (or so it seemed) and talked just us two on the way to biology. We got along like this for about another week. I found out that when I wasn't there, he had been telling people about how much he hated me and wanted me to "f*** off" and stop talking to him, which I think was really rude since he didn't say that to my face, but instead lied to me. At the same time, this other girl started becoming friends with us (I know its complicated but I promise this is the last person), and those two got on like a house on fire it was amazing to watch. Later that week I was texting her, and made a joke about how they got on so well that I would ship them if they weren't both gay. She would have known that i was a joke because I put a winky-smiley face at the end of the message, which I always do when making a joke. She all of a sudden stoped talking to me over text and I thought she'd just fallen asleep, so I turned my phone off and went to bed. The next day I got pulled out of Physics by a teacher, who told me that they had reported me for homophobic bullying and abuse. They had only been told about the joke that I had made, and nothing else, so they didn't know all of the drama that had been raging for nearly 6 months. I managed to get out of it, saying it was a misunderstanding, and I was certainly not homophobic like they said, and they let me off the hook (I can be quite charismatic and manipulative with teachers when I want to be), luckily. I then tried a different approach to make up to them, one that I thought they would relate to, so I used AI to write them both a song, because I didn't know how to tell them through simple words again. The boy never responded to it, and I still don't know what he thinks of it and me, but the girl texted me saying that she hated AI and wanted me to go away and not be friends with them. I got really angry at her, and said that I had spent hours on them, and she just threw it all back in my face, but she didn't care. The awful thing is that I started all the arguments involved, so I feel like it's all my fault, but people keep telling me it's not but I can't find a reason that it wouldn't be. Afterwards, the girl started to be nicer to me, and described me in school as that we had been friends "since year 7". I asked her after school if that means that we were friends again and she said sure, she didn't dislike me and wanted to try again. Again, lasted about a week before I blew things up again. I made a mistake about what she had said about a TV programme, and got confused over it, trying to tell her what I though she had said. She then got really annoyed at me, saying that I was "insisting" she was wrong when she "knows" she's right. she then said for me to stop talking to her because it was "clearly not working". I told her that she was a liar, becasue that wasn't what she had said beforehand, and I know it was the wrong approach but she had set my blood on fire and I just saw red. She then said that she had never actually liked me, that she didn't like me but didn't have a grudge, which makes no sense in our case, and said that there was absolutely no reason that she didn't like me, that she just didn't. I then asked her what the problem was, becasue that wasn't the whole thing, and she just got annoyed at me and said there was nothing else, although I could tell there was. We then later ended up talking about the election we held in school and how I stood for a party she didn't like for a laugh, and then I said that I didn't really care about politics becasue there was nothing I could do about it atm, and she changed tack. She then said that she didn't lioke me becasue I didn't care about politics, even though she hadn't known that beforehand. I then asked her, genuinely, for a reason to care, and if it was valid, then I would care. She refused to give me a valid reason, other than it affects my daily life, which is true but I cannot do anything about it yet, so is nul. I asked her for another one and she just ignored it and said the same thing about 10 times. We never sorted it out and both of them still hate me for what I said. AITA here? I know I started it all and I take the blame for that, but they still won't go back on any of the things they said. Help.

Reply 1

Dfogofroeosoap

Huh? I suggest stop trying to apologise because if everything you’ve said is true you don’t really have a reason to. Stop trying to please them because it always ends badly, they sound quite toxic. Unless you are doing something wrong that you are unaware of, which maybe you could check with people they’re friends with, there really is no reason in trying to have them forgive you. Just try stay mutual with them, and hopefully they’ll stop spreading things about you when you have nothing to do with them. Wish you the best