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Ungrateful?

I’m feeling really conflicted right now and need some perspective.

For most of my life, I believed my mom genuinely wanted me to succeed. I followed her advice, thinking she cared about my future. But then I realized her motivation is different. It feels like she want me to succeed for one reason only and that is so I can support my sisters later on otherwise she doesn't care about me at all.
I have been talking to her as I fear God. But I feel better when I don't. I’ve been thinking about cutting off communication with her for a while. She has been calling me for past week but I am not answering. I am worried what if I regret later in life. I wonder if I’m overreacting and just being ungrateful. Things that hurt me: she seems happy if relatives or my dad or strangers say negative things about me, and she laughs when my sisters bully me. If I face a setback, she’s almost glad. And when I get hurt by my sisters bullying, she doesn’t care about my feelings instead she only worries that I might curse them out of anger.

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Original post

by Anonymous

I’m feeling really conflicted right now and need some perspective.
For most of my life, I believed my mom genuinely wanted me to succeed. I followed her advice, thinking she cared about my future. But then I realized her motivation is different. It feels like she want me to succeed for one reason only and that is so I can support my sisters later on otherwise she doesn't care about me at all.
I have been talking to her as I fear God. But I feel better when I don't. I’ve been thinking about cutting off communication with her for a while. She has been calling me for past week but I am not answering. I am worried what if I regret later in life. I wonder if I’m overreacting and just being ungrateful. Things that hurt me: she seems happy if relatives or my dad or strangers say negative things about me, and she laughs when my sisters bully me. If I face a setback, she’s almost glad. And when I get hurt by my sisters bullying, she doesn’t care about my feelings instead she only worries that I might curse them out of anger.

Sorry to hear your experiencing this.

I had a similar issue with my mother and very slowly, I limited my interactions with her, and I felt much better for it.

There are some mums who are jealous of their daughters and don't want them to succeed in life because they couldn't do it so it gives them relief to see their own daughters not achieving. It's an insecurity of theirs and not a reflection of you.

You need to focus on your life, your education, your dream career, because you will have bills to pay in the future so you deserve to put your future first.

In time, you're sisters will see your mum for who she is and then they will turn away from her. That's what my sisters did and then my mum came back to me. I forgave her because the loneliness humbled her. Our relationship is a bit better now.

You're not being ungrateful and ask yourself would God do to you what she does to you? Most likely no, so you don't need to feel like you are being ungrateful because you are allowed to feel annoyed.

A bit of space is good for you and you deserve you're peace. She will come to you once she is humbled by lifes challenges then you will be able to have a nice relationship with her and she will respect you thereafter.

I hope things get better for you.