Do I take him back?
My bf and I had been dating for 2 years.
We broke up a few days ago because he wanted to do the army for life and it wouldn’t have worked out between us.
He had previously been gaslighting me into it with weekly arguments extending the time he said he wanted to go for. (Making me very upset every time and ultimately leading to a declining mental state)
And then he said in the breakup argument (AT SCHOOL) that I was holding him back and I’d changed as a person and left me sobbing on the side of the road after I begged him just to walk me home because of my mental state. I sobbed into his arms and begged him to reconsider and he declined abt 20 of my calls. He also went to go buy fish and chips while I was crying and held them and looked inconvenienced while I cried. (He dragged me into the chippy while I was crying)
So I just decided to move on and I’m actually doing okay. He texts me the night after
He then comes crawling back 2 days later saying he loves me and it hurts so much and it was the biggest mistake of his life. He’s saying he doesn’t want to do the army for life anymore and is gonna do the minimum contract length and then wants a life with me (like I begged for months ago).
I like to think I’m a good person so I reassure him and text him back and say idk to getting back together because I still love him but I can’t trust him.
He said that I’m a part of him that he can’t bear to lose and he wasn’t thinking the day we broke up. He’s also there’s no plan for a life without me.
I asked him for time and space and he didnt give it at all.
I also feel weird because his mom told him to decline all my calls and not check if I was okay. And she told him to not text me again. Idk if I’d be comfortable with someone like that as my MIL in the future.
Idk how to feel about it all. I love him but i genuinely can’t trust him. I can see that he’s really trying to make it right and he’s bettering himself as a person. I’m just stuck and scared to make the wrong choice
Any advice please? Sorry for the long ramble x
We broke up a few days ago because he wanted to do the army for life and it wouldn’t have worked out between us.
He had previously been gaslighting me into it with weekly arguments extending the time he said he wanted to go for. (Making me very upset every time and ultimately leading to a declining mental state)
And then he said in the breakup argument (AT SCHOOL) that I was holding him back and I’d changed as a person and left me sobbing on the side of the road after I begged him just to walk me home because of my mental state. I sobbed into his arms and begged him to reconsider and he declined abt 20 of my calls. He also went to go buy fish and chips while I was crying and held them and looked inconvenienced while I cried. (He dragged me into the chippy while I was crying)
So I just decided to move on and I’m actually doing okay. He texts me the night after
He then comes crawling back 2 days later saying he loves me and it hurts so much and it was the biggest mistake of his life. He’s saying he doesn’t want to do the army for life anymore and is gonna do the minimum contract length and then wants a life with me (like I begged for months ago).
I like to think I’m a good person so I reassure him and text him back and say idk to getting back together because I still love him but I can’t trust him.
He said that I’m a part of him that he can’t bear to lose and he wasn’t thinking the day we broke up. He’s also there’s no plan for a life without me.
I asked him for time and space and he didnt give it at all.
I also feel weird because his mom told him to decline all my calls and not check if I was okay. And she told him to not text me again. Idk if I’d be comfortable with someone like that as my MIL in the future.
Idk how to feel about it all. I love him but i genuinely can’t trust him. I can see that he’s really trying to make it right and he’s bettering himself as a person. I’m just stuck and scared to make the wrong choice
Any advice please? Sorry for the long ramble x
Reply 1
Original post
by AnonymousMy bf and I had been dating for 2 years.
We broke up a few days ago because he wanted to do the army for life and it wouldn’t have worked out between us.
He had previously been gaslighting me into it with weekly arguments extending the time he said he wanted to go for. (Making me very upset every time and ultimately leading to a declining mental state)
And then he said in the breakup argument (AT SCHOOL) that I was holding him back and I’d changed as a person and left me sobbing on the side of the road after I begged him just to walk me home because of my mental state. I sobbed into his arms and begged him to reconsider and he declined abt 20 of my calls. He also went to go buy fish and chips while I was crying and held them and looked inconvenienced while I cried. (He dragged me into the chippy while I was crying)
So I just decided to move on and I’m actually doing okay. He texts me the night after
He then comes crawling back 2 days later saying he loves me and it hurts so much and it was the biggest mistake of his life. He’s saying he doesn’t want to do the army for life anymore and is gonna do the minimum contract length and then wants a life with me (like I begged for months ago).
I like to think I’m a good person so I reassure him and text him back and say idk to getting back together because I still love him but I can’t trust him.
He said that I’m a part of him that he can’t bear to lose and he wasn’t thinking the day we broke up. He’s also there’s no plan for a life without me.
I asked him for time and space and he didnt give it at all.
I also feel weird because his mom told him to decline all my calls and not check if I was okay. And she told him to not text me again. Idk if I’d be comfortable with someone like that as my MIL in the future.
Idk how to feel about it all. I love him but i genuinely can’t trust him. I can see that he’s really trying to make it right and he’s bettering himself as a person. I’m just stuck and scared to make the wrong choice
Any advice please? Sorry for the long ramble x
We broke up a few days ago because he wanted to do the army for life and it wouldn’t have worked out between us.
He had previously been gaslighting me into it with weekly arguments extending the time he said he wanted to go for. (Making me very upset every time and ultimately leading to a declining mental state)
And then he said in the breakup argument (AT SCHOOL) that I was holding him back and I’d changed as a person and left me sobbing on the side of the road after I begged him just to walk me home because of my mental state. I sobbed into his arms and begged him to reconsider and he declined abt 20 of my calls. He also went to go buy fish and chips while I was crying and held them and looked inconvenienced while I cried. (He dragged me into the chippy while I was crying)
So I just decided to move on and I’m actually doing okay. He texts me the night after
He then comes crawling back 2 days later saying he loves me and it hurts so much and it was the biggest mistake of his life. He’s saying he doesn’t want to do the army for life anymore and is gonna do the minimum contract length and then wants a life with me (like I begged for months ago).
I like to think I’m a good person so I reassure him and text him back and say idk to getting back together because I still love him but I can’t trust him.
He said that I’m a part of him that he can’t bear to lose and he wasn’t thinking the day we broke up. He’s also there’s no plan for a life without me.
I asked him for time and space and he didnt give it at all.
I also feel weird because his mom told him to decline all my calls and not check if I was okay. And she told him to not text me again. Idk if I’d be comfortable with someone like that as my MIL in the future.
Idk how to feel about it all. I love him but i genuinely can’t trust him. I can see that he’s really trying to make it right and he’s bettering himself as a person. I’m just stuck and scared to make the wrong choice
Any advice please? Sorry for the long ramble x
Honestly honestly you need time and space and so does he for the sake of uur relationship and for it to work out and be healthy in the long run you both need time and distance to reflect and to understand what you both need but for the sake of eachother I think a break is the best option you never know maybe ur feelings may grow more and more for eachother ir maybe ur not meant for eachother but if u truly both have pure love and intentions for eachother you will find eachother. Regarding the mum yeh that’s weird its giving he’s talked bad about u to his mum thats the only reason if his mum really knew how much u meant to him she wouldn’t say that. I hope your okayy!!
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