Making friends mid second year

I’ve just been coasting through uni and do have friends but the problem is they never really want to do anything even though I’ve been trying to mention different things for a while now. We get on well and have fun together but just spending all of uni just bed rotting and occasionally working feels like a waste especially seeing other people. I know you can just go and do things by yourself but I don’t really enjoy it and lowkey struggle with general insecurity.

Is there anything I could naturally do at this point of the year to make more friends? I never joined any societies (not my hobbies/ not my type of people / not into sports) and going by myself to events at this point in the year when people aren’t really looking to meet new people anymore wouldn’t really be my thing. I get on decently well with most people eg in group projects but the friendship never really goes anywhere from there. Once again only my own fault as I don’t really push to meet up more/ text first as it just feels desperate to me and I get anxious that they would find it annoying (yes I’m insecure but it doesn’t affect how I behave apart from this). I just feel like I know others who meet and befriend people so easily but I don’t when I would want to.

Reply 1

surfergirls

Even though it might seem hard initially, I would make myself join a society of some sort. Its much easier to make friends with people who you see regualrily and share a common interest with. Or explain to just one of your already friends how you are feeling and see if you can persuade them to try and do something with you, rather than trying to get the whole group to.

Reply 2

LJMUStudentReps

Official Rep

Original post

by Anonymous

I’ve just been coasting through uni and do have friends but the problem is they never really want to do anything even though I’ve been trying to mention different things for a while now. We get on well and have fun together but just spending all of uni just bed rotting and occasionally working feels like a waste especially seeing other people. I know you can just go and do things by yourself but I don’t really enjoy it and lowkey struggle with general insecurity.
Is there anything I could naturally do at this point of the year to make more friends? I never joined any societies (not my hobbies/ not my type of people / not into sports) and going by myself to events at this point in the year when people aren’t really looking to meet new people anymore wouldn’t really be my thing. I get on decently well with most people eg in group projects but the friendship never really goes anywhere from there. Once again only my own fault as I don’t really push to meet up more/ text first as it just feels desperate to me and I get anxious that they would find it annoying (yes I’m insecure but it doesn’t affect how I behave apart from this). I just feel like I know others who meet and befriend people so easily but I don’t when I would want to.

Hi,

I hope you are well! Sorry to hear that you have found yourself in a bit of a difficult situation with meeting people. You certainly aren't alone though and it is much more common than you think. The hardest thing about making new friends is what you have mentioned about making the first move or messaging or speaking to someone but after that it gets a lot easier.

Do you have any breaks in-between your lectures or classes where you could ask someone if they fancied going to get something to eat or any assignments due soon and then you could ask someone if they wanted to go to the library. Little things like that is what I found to be useful when starting out at uni and now the same people I went for food with and went to the library with are my good mates! I know it's daunting and feels a lot harder than it actually is but once you get talking to people you realise that absolutely no one is judging you and they will be very friendly!

I hope this response has helped slightly, let me know if you have any other questions, I am more than happy to help!

Good luck!

Matt 🙂
Official LJMU Student Rep

Reply 3

Kingston Eve

Official Rep

Original post

by Anonymous

I’ve just been coasting through uni and do have friends but the problem is they never really want to do anything even though I’ve been trying to mention different things for a while now. We get on well and have fun together but just spending all of uni just bed rotting and occasionally working feels like a waste especially seeing other people. I know you can just go and do things by yourself but I don’t really enjoy it and lowkey struggle with general insecurity.
Is there anything I could naturally do at this point of the year to make more friends? I never joined any societies (not my hobbies/ not my type of people / not into sports) and going by myself to events at this point in the year when people aren’t really looking to meet new people anymore wouldn’t really be my thing. I get on decently well with most people eg in group projects but the friendship never really goes anywhere from there. Once again only my own fault as I don’t really push to meet up more/ text first as it just feels desperate to me and I get anxious that they would find it annoying (yes I’m insecure but it doesn’t affect how I behave apart from this). I just feel like I know others who meet and befriend people so easily but I don’t when I would want to.

Hi,

You mentioned that you get along well with people when doing group projects. One way to develop these friendships further is to arrange study sessions/group meetings outside of university - for example, at a cafe or at a local library. At the end of the meeting, you could always ask what everyone's plans are for the evening and invite them to do something (e.g. go to the cinema, go for a drink). Lots of people struggle to make good friendships at uni and I imagine there would be at least a few group members who would be grateful for the offer.

If you're not keen on joining a society in the middle of the year, check what one-off extracurricular events your uni hosts (e.g. yoga sessions, essay workshops, group walks) and try to meet people through them. These events will likely feel less daunting than joining a society as their one-off nature means there's no pre-established groups and everyone in attendance is open to meeting new people.

Hope this helps and best of luck! 🙂
Eve (Kingston Rep).

(edited 2 months ago)

Reply 4

hallamstudents

Official Rep

Original post

by Anonymous

I’ve just been coasting through uni and do have friends but the problem is they never really want to do anything even though I’ve been trying to mention different things for a while now. We get on well and have fun together but just spending all of uni just bed rotting and occasionally working feels like a waste especially seeing other people. I know you can just go and do things by yourself but I don’t really enjoy it and lowkey struggle with general insecurity.
Is there anything I could naturally do at this point of the year to make more friends? I never joined any societies (not my hobbies/ not my type of people / not into sports) and going by myself to events at this point in the year when people aren’t really looking to meet new people anymore wouldn’t really be my thing. I get on decently well with most people eg in group projects but the friendship never really goes anywhere from there. Once again only my own fault as I don’t really push to meet up more/ text first as it just feels desperate to me and I get anxious that they would find it annoying (yes I’m insecure but it doesn’t affect how I behave apart from this). I just feel like I know others who meet and befriend people so easily but I don’t when I would want to.

Hi there,

I am sorry that you have been feeling this way. It can be hard making good friendships at uni and especially when you can see other people around you making lots of friends. I know it seems tricky that it is halfway through the year, but it is actually not a bad time to be making friends as semester two is starting soon which is a bit of a reset! Here are some ways that I have made friends while at uni:

•

I know you said no societies, but if the only thing putting you off is the time of year, don't let this be the reason as lots of societies do a second intake in January where lots of new people join so if you were to join you wouldn't be the only new person!

•

Have a look on social media as you may meet some people on here which might be a bit less daunting than meeting them face to face. It is worth a look and there will often be people on Facebook who you can chat to and make friends with.

•

See if anyone on your course wants to do something after uni. It is deadline season so people may be up for going to the library after class to do some work? Or go for a coffee or some lunch - just something small and then you can get to know people outside of classes.

•

If you don't end up meeting people from your course, try and start sitting next to new people in the new year. You may get put in classes with slightly different people it is a great way of getting to know some new people.

•

See if your accommodation puts any events on. I know it is very scary going to them on your own and I only did it at the end of first year but it is a great way of meeting some new people you may not have met otherwise.

I hope some of this helps,

Lucy -SHU student ambassador.

Reply 5

EssexStudentRep

Official Rep

Original post

by Anonymous

I’ve just been coasting through uni and do have friends but the problem is they never really want to do anything even though I’ve been trying to mention different things for a while now. We get on well and have fun together but just spending all of uni just bed rotting and occasionally working feels like a waste especially seeing other people. I know you can just go and do things by yourself but I don’t really enjoy it and lowkey struggle with general insecurity.
Is there anything I could naturally do at this point of the year to make more friends? I never joined any societies (not my hobbies/ not my type of people / not into sports) and going by myself to events at this point in the year when people aren’t really looking to meet new people anymore wouldn’t really be my thing. I get on decently well with most people eg in group projects but the friendship never really goes anywhere from there. Once again only my own fault as I don’t really push to meet up more/ text first as it just feels desperate to me and I get anxious that they would find it annoying (yes I’m insecure but it doesn’t affect how I behave apart from this). I just feel like I know others who meet and befriend people so easily but I don’t when I would want to.

Hi @Anonymous 👋

Hope you are well. I am sorry to hear you are feeling that way, it sounds stressful. I want to assure you that is completely normal and happens to a lot of people in university. It is never too late to make friends even if you are in the middle of second year! Personally, i made friends in my first year but in second year i made a couple more friends and it is possible to even make more in your third and fourth year 😊

I am a quiet person as well who prefers to stay at home but I do tend to go out with friends and make the most of it as it is helpful to go out once in a while. I would recommend you to approach people first in your classes, some people are nervous about approaching you so they tend to wait so that always can be a first step if you go them first. Joining societies may be helpful as well as most people tend to join solely out of the fact they want to make some friends 😊 Depending on your university, there are sometimes societies that are just people coming to chat which may interest you as it is not a specific hobby you might be interested in? I hope this helps honestly and just know you will be able to make friends, finding friends later in your course is better sometimes especially if they turn out to be really great friends compared to people who make loads of friends in their first year to lose all of them in their second.

Essex Student Rep - Lavanya 💜

Reply 6

Manchester Met - Student Rep

Official Rep

Original post

by Anonymous

I’ve just been coasting through uni and do have friends but the problem is they never really want to do anything even though I’ve been trying to mention different things for a while now. We get on well and have fun together but just spending all of uni just bed rotting and occasionally working feels like a waste especially seeing other people. I know you can just go and do things by yourself but I don’t really enjoy it and lowkey struggle with general insecurity.
Is there anything I could naturally do at this point of the year to make more friends? I never joined any societies (not my hobbies/ not my type of people / not into sports) and going by myself to events at this point in the year when people aren’t really looking to meet new people anymore wouldn’t really be my thing. I get on decently well with most people eg in group projects but the friendship never really goes anywhere from there. Once again only my own fault as I don’t really push to meet up more/ text first as it just feels desperate to me and I get anxious that they would find it annoying (yes I’m insecure but it doesn’t affect how I behave apart from this). I just feel like I know others who meet and befriend people so easily but I don’t when I would want to.

Hey,
I understand how you feel, and it’s totally understandable why you're frustrated with the “coasting” and “bed rotting” routine. It sounds like you’ve got friends you get along with, but they just aren’t matching your desire for a more active social life.

Here is the thing: You have made the effort with your current friends, but if they aren’t willing to try new things, it’s perfectly okay to step away and broaden your circle. Not every person you meet at uni will instantly click or be the right fit for your entire journey, and that is a common experience.

The good news is, you can absolutely make new friends now. You just need specific, low-pressure situations:

Try Low-Commitment Events: Look at what the Students’ Union or University is organising. Forget the big clubs and check for daytime social events like craft workshops, yoga classes, bingo, or pop-up plant/furniture stalls. These events are designed for quick, casual interaction and require zero commitment.
Revisit Societies: I agree with others, give societies another shot! Look for one based on a niche interest (like a film, board game, or academic society) and just commit to one event. Go and see if you like the vibe. If you don’t, you don’t have to go back.
Use Course Connections: Since you get on well with people in group projects, use that! Suggest a small, work-focused meet-up: “Want to grab a coffee while we look over the readings?” Shared academic stress is a great natural way to deepen a friendship.
You have the social skills; you just need to find the people who match your energy level.
Hope this helps!😊
Rachel
(Third Year)
Undergraduate Multimedia Journalism

Reply 7

ARUStudents

Official Rep

Original post

by Anonymous

I’ve just been coasting through uni and do have friends but the problem is they never really want to do anything even though I’ve been trying to mention different things for a while now. We get on well and have fun together but just spending all of uni just bed rotting and occasionally working feels like a waste especially seeing other people. I know you can just go and do things by yourself but I don’t really enjoy it and lowkey struggle with general insecurity.
Is there anything I could naturally do at this point of the year to make more friends? I never joined any societies (not my hobbies/ not my type of people / not into sports) and going by myself to events at this point in the year when people aren’t really looking to meet new people anymore wouldn’t really be my thing. I get on decently well with most people eg in group projects but the friendship never really goes anywhere from there. Once again only my own fault as I don’t really push to meet up more/ text first as it just feels desperate to me and I get anxious that they would find it annoying (yes I’m insecure but it doesn’t affect how I behave apart from this). I just feel like I know others who meet and befriend people so easily but I don’t when I would want to.

Hi,

I hope you are okay ! I'm sorry you are feeling this way , I can imagine it is has been hard for you to feel like this so i'm sorry you have been going through this , but you're not alone!

Making friends can be really daunitng at times or even taking that first step to go out on your own to try something new can be scary. My suggestion would be to try and reach out if you can! Everyone who starts university is in a similar position with not knowing many people, so absolutely if you feel confident enough to try and reach out and see if anyone would like to go for a coffee or even to get some food inbetween lectures wouldbe a great way to meet new people if you are anxious about going out alone!

Another idea that could help you would be to see what is going on around your campus in the day, sometimes at lunch or after lectures there are activities the University hold to bring people together , I know at my university ARU they often bring in a small petting zoo! if you have something similar you could always mention it as more of a casual thing to pop and see rather than putting pressure on meeting outside of lectures if that is something you feel you have been struggling with.

I hope this response has helped , dont worry you have got this ! Good luck 🙂

Lily
(Third year Student Nurse at ARU)

Reply 8

De Montfort University

Official Rep

Original post

by Anonymous

I’ve just been coasting through uni and do have friends but the problem is they never really want to do anything even though I’ve been trying to mention different things for a while now. We get on well and have fun together but just spending all of uni just bed rotting and occasionally working feels like a waste especially seeing other people. I know you can just go and do things by yourself but I don’t really enjoy it and lowkey struggle with general insecurity.
Is there anything I could naturally do at this point of the year to make more friends? I never joined any societies (not my hobbies/ not my type of people / not into sports) and going by myself to events at this point in the year when people aren’t really looking to meet new people anymore wouldn’t really be my thing. I get on decently well with most people eg in group projects but the friendship never really goes anywhere from there. Once again only my own fault as I don’t really push to meet up more/ text first as it just feels desperate to me and I get anxious that they would find it annoying (yes I’m insecure but it doesn’t affect how I behave apart from this). I just feel like I know others who meet and befriend people so easily but I don’t when I would want to.

Hi there,

You don't need to be particularly into something to join student societies. On the contrary, people usually join to try something out. At the same time, student societies have regular socials. For example here at DMU we have a Cinema Society with students going to watch a film together every week.
I really advise you to give societies a chance, they can really be a game changer for you.

Ilya,
Cyber Security student at De Montfort University

Reply 9

Crazy Jamie

You've been given some really helpful advice in this thread, but I just want to add a couple of quick points.

The first is that you say that mid second year people wouldn't be looking to meet new people, but in my experience that isn't right, either at university or in life generally. Whilst in first year there is that desire to meet people because you don't know anybody, that doesn't mean that people become closed off from it after that. Quite the opposite. Friendships are always in a state of flux, whether that's making new ones, old ones drifting or falling apart, or changes to existing ones. There are no rules to any of this, I don't think anyone is ever closed off from speaking to new people or making new friends. The efforts that you want to make to meet people or put yourself in situations where you can interact with people is entirely a matter for you and there is, again, no right or wrong to it. But don't feel that others that you meet will be closed off to the idea of speaking to you or anyone new, because as a general principle I don't think that's right.

The second is that the same rule about friendships being in flux applies to your life beyond university as well. Plenty of people make life long friends at university. Others do not. I had quite a lot of friends at university, and twenty or so years on I am not in regular contact with any of them. Not really by choice or because of any sort of bad feelings. We just didn't stay connected. By contrast, I still have a core group of very good friends from school, and I have other very good friends from postgraduate training and work. My wife has some university friends she still stays in contact with, but her best friends are people she met from around the time we had children. There are no rules to any of this, and if friendships don't really 'happen' for you at university, that doesn't mean anything for how your friendships might go after university, when you will again meet a lot of new people.

You always have the power to take different approaches in life, try new things or use your time in a certain way. And it is important to make the most of that. But how you do that is always your choice, and those choices and what is right for you can change over time. But I wouldn't worry about this. You are still so young in your second year of university. Finding your own way, whether it is with friendships or anything else, takes time. I think trying new things and putting yourself in new situations is always a good use of your time, and I would encourage you to do it throughout your life. But don't put pressure on yourself to do it. It's always at your pace.

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