Should I tell my flatmates for next year I don’t want to live with them last minute?

1

I have agreed to share a house with 3 other people next year and we have found a house to rent which we have reserved but not signed a contract etc for yet. How do I tell them I don't want to live with them next year? I have no other plans in place but I really don't think it will work out, I just said yes to the first group of people who asked but I really didn't know them well enough. Now we know each other I have realised one person in this group really irritates me and I feel like us living together will cause a lot of problems. There was originally going to be 6 people in our house for next year so I sort of thought we could just avoid each other a bit but 2 have dropped out so we definitely couldn't. The other two I don't think there will be any problems with though. It hit me when we were looking at houses that I don't think I can do this and it’s stressing me out because I think it’s too late to pull out but I feel I have to. What can I do? Is it too late for me to pull out and is it even worth it to if I have no other plans for housing?

Reply 1

BCU Student Rep

Official Rep

18

Original post

by attty

I have agreed to share a house with 3 other people next year and we have found a house to rent which we have reserved but not signed a contract etc for yet. How do I tell them I don't want to live with them next year? I have no other plans in place but I really don't think it will work out, I just said yes to the first group of people who asked but I really didn't know them well enough. Now we know each other I have realised one person in this group really irritates me and I feel like us living together will cause a lot of problems. There was originally going to be 6 people in our house for next year so I sort of thought we could just avoid each other a bit but 2 have dropped out so we definitely couldn't. The other two I don't think there will be any problems with though. It hit me when we were looking at houses that I don't think I can do this and it’s stressing me out because I think it’s too late to pull out but I feel I have to. What can I do? Is it too late for me to pull out and is it even worth it to if I have no other plans for housing?

Hey @attty I hope you are doing well and thank you for the honesty. I would say, it feels last minute but it's genuinely not too late especially because you have not signed a contract. Until a contract is signed, you are not legally committed and this is exactly the stage where people realise a living situation is not right.

Is it too late to pull out?

No.

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If the group has only reserved a house and no contracts are signed, you can still back out without legal consequences.

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The worst that could happen is some awkwardness or frustration from your flatmates but nothing binding.

Should you still consider backing out if you have no other housing lined up?

Yes - if your gut says it won't work

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Living with people who irritate you or stress you out every day at home can take a toll on your mental wellbeing and it would be much harder to escape once you are already locked in a tenancy.

You will have options:

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Many universities have active student housing groups where people look for a replacement housemate

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Spare rooms often open later in the year than people expect

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Private halls and student accommodations usually have availability well into spring/summer.

Trust me, you will not be stranded whatsoever, it just requires extra research.

How to tell them?

Keep it direct, calm and respectful. So something like:
"Hey I've been thinking a lot about next year and realised I said yes too quickly before I really understood what I wanted. I don't think this house share is the right fit for me, and I don't want to sign a contract and then become a problem later on. I'm really sorry for the inconvenience, but I need to step back before signing."

You actually don't need to blame anyone or go into detail about the person who irritates you, keep it strictly about your needs not their behaviour.

Why it's better to speak up now

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You will avoid months of stress

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They still have time to find a replacement

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You are being honest before anyone is tied legally or financially

I really hope this helped and sort of soothed your anxieties. Remember, housing options always open up but being stuck living with someone who drains you is hard to fix later. All the best 🙂

Ru
BCU student rep.

Reply 2

ageshallnot

21

^This. Plus there's plenty of time for the others to find a replacement.

Reply 3

hallamstudents

Official Rep

18

Original post

by attty

I have agreed to share a house with 3 other people next year and we have found a house to rent which we have reserved but not signed a contract etc for yet. How do I tell them I don't want to live with them next year? I have no other plans in place but I really don't think it will work out, I just said yes to the first group of people who asked but I really didn't know them well enough. Now we know each other I have realised one person in this group really irritates me and I feel like us living together will cause a lot of problems. There was originally going to be 6 people in our house for next year so I sort of thought we could just avoid each other a bit but 2 have dropped out so we definitely couldn't. The other two I don't think there will be any problems with though. It hit me when we were looking at houses that I don't think I can do this and it’s stressing me out because I think it’s too late to pull out but I feel I have to. What can I do? Is it too late for me to pull out and is it even worth it to if I have no other plans for housing?

Hi there,

This is more common than you might think, so try not to worry too much.

I know it is a tricky situation, but if you haven't signed a contract yet you can back out without being charged anything or needing to find a replacement. Telling the others as soon as possible is important as you don't want to end up signing anything or feeling like you have to sign when you don't want to.

I am sure that they will be understanding and if it affects your friendship at all, then the friendship would likely not have survived living together anyway! It is a big thing moving in with people so if you have a gut instinct that it won't work you should trust it. I am sure they will be fine and you can still see them without the added pressure of living together!

In terms of other plans, things will come up so don't worry about it. It isn't even the new year yet and there will be options so don't worry. You could find a new group to live with, or stay in halls again. You could also look on Facebook to see if there are any rooms available in other houses or if someone needs a tenancy taking over as this is more common than you may think.

I hope it all works out well for you,

Lucy - SHU student ambassador.

Should I tell my flatmates for next year I don’t want to live with them last minute?

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