Roommate problems
Hi, my daughter has signed a contract to stay another year with her current roommate, she really didn’t want to but didn’t want to let her down. Uni is only an hour away from home so she comes home fairly often, roommate knew this before hand. Roommate has a boyfriend that stays over around 3 night a week, daughter has no problem with this however, they used to be friends but has stopped talking/acknowledging her and sits in the living room making it awkward so she feels like she can’t enjoy her house therefore comes home . The roommate routinely goes out to work/uni and leaves the door unlocked, leaves fairy light on, laptop charging whilst out of country as well as electric blanket on 24/7 and does not like it when daughter asks her not to - small issues I know but annoying ones nonetheless. They have sex in the sitting room meaning she can’t come downstairs, they clogged the bathroom sink whilst she wasn’t staying there and left her to fix it when she came back. Unfortunately, she naively signed the contract thinking things would change after a civil chat but things have escalated after she said she was moving out. Now they bang on the bedroom wall, leave the lights on all night, he runs up and down the stairs at 3am barking like a dog, turning the dryer on in the middle of the night, it’s super loud so daughter can’t sleep. Some of these things were discussed before moving in to this house eg the dryer. Understandably the roommate is annoyed that daughter wants to move out, daughter knows she shouldn’t have signed up and knows it’s her responsibility to find a replacement tenant, roommate is not cooperating and is refusing everyone daughter finds including a girl that lived above them last year. Even though boyfriend stays over, roommate won’t have him take on the rent as she’s apparently “not ready for that” . The way I see it is daughter has basically given the run of the house when she’s not there and when he’s there he should be paying a third of the rent not just helping out with roommate’s groceries. We were fine with him staying but now that they’ve ramped up the harassment we’re putting the foot down if they don’t sort it out.
Does anyone know if there’s anything we can do to get out of the contract?
Sorry for long post, doesn’t actually cover everything they’ve been doing but gets general point across. Daughter isn’t a whine but doesn’t like confrontation! Thanks for reading!
Does anyone know if there’s anything we can do to get out of the contract?
Sorry for long post, doesn’t actually cover everything they’ve been doing but gets general point across. Daughter isn’t a whine but doesn’t like confrontation! Thanks for reading!
Reply 1
Hey, I'm not a parent but honestly i would not want my daughter in that kind of environment based on all the incidents you have mentioned. Her roommates behaviour is only going to worsen, explain to your daughter that she needs to feel like she isn't letting people down by drawing lines and prioritising her health and safety. Otherwise, later on when this roommate with no manners decides to invite friends over and they turn out to be like her or worse (making a mess, leaving doors open etc) your daughter could be left in a vulnerable position where ANYONE can come into the house and she won't know their character, if they're a robber/criminal or just another friend of the roommate. I feel like in our society and especially with uni culture, having a chaotic roommate is made to feel 'normal' or just 'part of the experience' but they have clearly made her uncomfortable and displayed indecent behaviour that could put your daughter in danger which is unacceptable regardless of their friendship.
As a young person myself I feel your daughter really needs to prioritize her comfort right now, alongside studying at uni she is coming home to a place she is being made to feel uncomfortable in, when really that roommate should feel uncomfortable for inviting a boy around who is disturbing your daughter's sleep schedule and overall in a place his presence is no longer welcome in - at least that's what i would say to her.
I'm not sure about how you could get out of the contract but maybe speak to the accom. owner about adding a section where no visitors are allowed if he/she is able to draw up a new agreement?
Hope everything goes well regardless of your decision.
The police can get involved in university accommodation harassment, especially if it's causing fear or distress, as repeated nuisance behaviour disrupting sleep can become criminal harassment or antisocial behaviour (ASB), but you should also contact your university (warden, accommodation office), and potentially the local council for non-emergency help, while keeping detailed records of incidents for all parties. Call 999 for immediate danger or 101 for non-emergencies if the behaviour makes you scared, distressed, or threatened.
As a young person myself I feel your daughter really needs to prioritize her comfort right now, alongside studying at uni she is coming home to a place she is being made to feel uncomfortable in, when really that roommate should feel uncomfortable for inviting a boy around who is disturbing your daughter's sleep schedule and overall in a place his presence is no longer welcome in - at least that's what i would say to her.
I'm not sure about how you could get out of the contract but maybe speak to the accom. owner about adding a section where no visitors are allowed if he/she is able to draw up a new agreement?
Hope everything goes well regardless of your decision.
The police can get involved in university accommodation harassment, especially if it's causing fear or distress, as repeated nuisance behaviour disrupting sleep can become criminal harassment or antisocial behaviour (ASB), but you should also contact your university (warden, accommodation office), and potentially the local council for non-emergency help, while keeping detailed records of incidents for all parties. Call 999 for immediate danger or 101 for non-emergencies if the behaviour makes you scared, distressed, or threatened.
Reply 2
Ewww that's grim imagine her coming across two people having sex in the living room, my friend went through the same thing and the two people in question just carried on having sex like she wasn't there
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