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Friends at university of Leeds

Has anyone else really struggled to make friends they’ve truly connected with at uni of leeds?

I’ve joined societies and gone to events but I’ve just talked to people then never spoke to them again and now I’m starting to think I’m doing something wrong, I’m at the end if my first semester of second yr now and still no change as much as I try.

Is anyone else feeling similar or know any other way to try and connect with people?

Reply 1

McGinger

Do you talk to people sitting next to you in your classes or lectures?

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post

by McGinger

Do you talk to people sitting next to you in your classes or lectures?

I have a friend during lectures that I sit with but we don’t see each other or spend time out of lectures, so it just feels like I’m there so she doesn’t have to sit alone in lectures but outside of that she has her housemates and her society friends, I commute so I don’t have that only my best friend that also goes to the same uni who now also has her housemates so I don’t see her as much either anymore. I feel more like I’m missing out on the social side outside of lecturers as the only events I attend are society ones and even then I turn up alone and can be by myself a lot of the time cause people turn up with their friends.

but I do chat with people I’m sat with in seminars but it’s just like we exchange instagrams and never really talk again apart from like a hi in passing but with being in second yr it feels like people have already made their group of friends.

Reply 3

ARU Graduate

Official Rep

Original post

by Anonymous

Has anyone else really struggled to make friends they’ve truly connected with at uni of leeds?
I’ve joined societies and gone to events but I’ve just talked to people then never spoke to them again and now I’m starting to think I’m doing something wrong, I’m at the end if my first semester of second yr now and still no change as much as I try.
Is anyone else feeling similar or know any other way to try and connect with people?

Hey,

Honestly, you’re definitely not doing anything wrong… loads of people feel like this but just don’t admit it, so it can seem like everyone else has these perfect friendship groups when really they’re figuring it out too. Making proper connections at uni can be weirdly slow, especially in second year when everyone already has their routines. Talking to people at events and then never speaking again is way more common than it feels, most of those interactions are surface-level by default, not a sign that you’re the problem.

What usually helps is showing up to the same things regularly so you start recognising the same faces. People open up naturally when they see someone again and again. And if you do talk to someone and it feels even slightly comfortable, don’t be afraid to make the first move and add them on Insta or suggest grabbing a coffee…. as scary as it feels, most people are relieved when someone else takes that step.

Also, don’t forget that staying connected with friends and family from home can make a massive difference when you’re feeling a bit isolated. Keeping those relationships warm gives you a sense of stability and reminds you that you’re not doing life alone, even if your uni friendships are still catching up.

Real connection just takes time, usually through a lot of small, repeated interactions rather than one big instant click. You’re not alone in feeling this, and you’re not behind. The fact you’re trying so hard already says a lot about you. Keep going…the right friendships will land, even if they’re taking a little longer to show up.

Good luck! Sophie 🙂

Reply 4

McGinger

'I'm going for a coffee' or 'Anyone fancy a coffee' at the end of a lecture or class could be the way to get the outside-class socials going. It might feel a bit cheesy but you can bet there are others who are feeling the same.

Reply 5

hallamstudents

Official Rep

Original post

by Anonymous

Has anyone else really struggled to make friends they’ve truly connected with at uni of leeds?
I’ve joined societies and gone to events but I’ve just talked to people then never spoke to them again and now I’m starting to think I’m doing something wrong, I’m at the end if my first semester of second yr now and still no change as much as I try.
Is anyone else feeling similar or know any other way to try and connect with people?

Hi there,

You are definitely not doing anything wrong - it can just be hard sometimes at first to make friends at uni. I made all of my closest friends near the end of second year so don't worry as it will happen (although I completely understand that it can be hard waiting for it).

Here are some of the ways that I have made friends at uni, in case any of these help you out:

•

Firstly, I know you have joined societies, but you could still have a look and see if there are any others that you might want to join. I didn't join any straight away and then I did in second year which is how I met some of my friends.

•

See if your SU puts any events on. Often they do 'give it a go' type events where you can meet new people and try something new too, so this may be worth looking into. Lots of people go to these on their own so you might end up meeting some people who are looking to make friends.

•

See if there are any other clubs in the local area that you could join. I know they may not be friends at uni but sometimes in the area you love there will be clubs such as run clubs, craft clubs or other sports teams where you could meet some new people

•

Try and talk to new people in your lectures. See f they want to go for a coffee after uni, or even just to the library to do some work and I think you would be surprised at how many people want to do this.

•

As scary as it is, just try and ask people to do things. The worst they can say is no and it is unlikely they will as lots of people want to make friends at uni!

I hope things get better soon,

Lucy -SHU Student ambassador.

Reply 6

Anonymous #2

Original post

by Anonymous

Has anyone else really struggled to make friends they’ve truly connected with at uni of leeds?
I’ve joined societies and gone to events but I’ve just talked to people then never spoke to them again and now I’m starting to think I’m doing something wrong, I’m at the end if my first semester of second yr now and still no change as much as I try.
Is anyone else feeling similar or know any other way to try and connect with people?

I’d be happy to meet up for a drink or whatever you fancy if you’re still feeling this way. I get on well with my flatmates however find myself with not a lot to do in the evenings and outside of uni and would like someone to go for a drink with in the evening/ hang out with during the day. Hopefully you’ve settled in but lmk.