Mum sulking over Christmas plans
Me and my girlfriend will be spending Christmas Day with my parents as we have done for the last 5 years. My mum also invited us to go to the pub with them near their house for a drink on Christmas Eve which we said yes to. She also said she’ll be doing a buffet on Boxing Day but didn’t say what time etc.
Last week my girlfriends mum asked us to go round to her house on Boxing Day so we said yes because she won’t be seeing us on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. Since I told my mum about this she has been sulking and can’t see how unreasonable she’s being that she’s seeing us for two days and arguably the two main days over Christmas.
When my sisters lived at home they would split their Christmas Days and spend the mornings with my family and then the evenings with their boyfriends families. My mum was fine with this but not fine with me and my girlfriend spending all Christmas Day with her. When I made this point to her she said “that’s different” but couldn’t give me an explanation as to why.
I don’t know where I go from here as she’s constantly sulking but for some reason can’t see that me and my girlfriend have to split our time between two families.
Last week my girlfriends mum asked us to go round to her house on Boxing Day so we said yes because she won’t be seeing us on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. Since I told my mum about this she has been sulking and can’t see how unreasonable she’s being that she’s seeing us for two days and arguably the two main days over Christmas.
When my sisters lived at home they would split their Christmas Days and spend the mornings with my family and then the evenings with their boyfriends families. My mum was fine with this but not fine with me and my girlfriend spending all Christmas Day with her. When I made this point to her she said “that’s different” but couldn’t give me an explanation as to why.
I don’t know where I go from here as she’s constantly sulking but for some reason can’t see that me and my girlfriend have to split our time between two families.
Reply 1
21
She’s struggling to let go. Your logic is clear and fair. Try to reassure her that you really value celebrating at home, but have to make some time for your gf family. Maybe you could drop by briefly on Boxing Day. Or branch out and book an Airbnb and spend the festive period just with your gf. Family tensions are a Xmas tradition anyway
Reply 2
Zarek is right. She may well be sulking and you are correct in what you say, but cut her some slack. She's coming to terms with losing the time over Christmas that she used to spend with her children. There's every chance that it's harder for her with you precisely because you're the youngest. She'll come around and adjust eventually. In the mean time, it's a situation to approach with understanding and empathy rather than frustration.
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