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I need your opinion and advice - I am seriously desperate!

I feel very guilty. I mean I thought it was ok but my mum DOES NOT think it is. What happened was that I was studying, I finished and I just wanted to watch tiktok. I knew that my mum would have HATED that so I hid the phone behind the laptop's screen, well she obviously found out. She snatches the phone and asks me for the password, I tell her. My mum knows I have tiktok and anyways she sees whats on screen, a video of the British Royal family where Mhegan Markle is getting married, the video was about how people only hate mhegan markle because shes part black and when my mum saw that she shouted at me saying that I was disgusting for watching them get married and If I wanted to get married too. WHAT?! Also, for some context I am in year 13 and I DID NOT get good grades. For economics, I got a C. For Philosophy, A C and for English Lit a B. My mum is worried, I am too but it does not mean I need to study 24/7 (she told me this). I would not be able to sit in one place for a long amount of time. I suppose I could have went on a walk or did some excercise. I can see that was wrong about this, but her calling me disgusting and breaching my privacy irked me! She thinks that I am 'disgusting' for looking at a video of them getting married. Girl the poster just put that as a background video and decided to put some text over it. I hope you can tell me if SHE is in the wrong or if I am. Should I really study 24/7 and am I really 'disgusting' for looking at a video of them getting married? Also now she's not talking to me and instead is calling me 'disgusting'. She looked at snapchat, saw a name she did not recognise and thought it was a boy, It was my philosophy tutor, I can not do anything about the fact that he has snapchat, It was recommended to me by my contacts, same with my music teacher.
Your mother sounds unhinged.

Reply 2

Original post
by PinkMobilePhone
Your mother sounds unhinged.

oh...what do you mean?

Reply 3

Don't feel guilty. It's December.
From April onwards it's fine if you're studying or eating or sleeping 24/7. In the run up to your exams.
If you have a good plan for earning money where your A level grades don't matter then you should give that plan priority over A level studying.
In the modern world there's plenty of ways to make a great living or to become rich where going to university would be more of a hindrance than a help.

Watching Tiktok is generally a bad habit because it's a time and attention sponge. The difference between highly successful people and run of the mill people is the value that each group places on their time, with the highly successful people placing a very high value on it.
However, it's one of those things where it's better if you self generate the discipline to not waste hours per week on Tiktok. Instead of having a regime forced on you by your mum.

I think there's dark humour in your mother flying off the handle at you watching a royal wedding. Just as well you weren't watching some ultra hard core porn. 😇

There's dark humour in her not speaking to you too. As that's better than her chipping away at your self esteem and your calm state of mind with her rants.

Pragmatically speaking, whilst living with your mum, abide by her rules and try not to get caught when you break them. And accept whatever punishment she gives you, as long as it's not illegal - such as hitting you.

Look to move out from her home in July to October 2026. Regardless of whether or not you go to uni. The day that you move out will be the happiest of your life.

Reply 4

Watching tiktok sometimes is not wrong, of course everyone needs a break, but it can get addictive and waste a lot of time as it’s hard to stop - but obviously you feel bad as you hid it from your mum and she found out. It sounds like she definitely overreacted in the moment- I’m not sure why it’s disgusting to watch a video of a wedding. And not talking to you because of it is definitely not a healthy response. Perhaps she has her own stresses and issues going on. I hope you can find a way to talk to her about it calmly, but anyway, try to find other ways to relax away from a screen perhaps- not sure if you have any other hobbies or something you can do to release some stress from studying?

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