The Student Room Group

Hey do u have any advice???

I'm in y10 (15y/o), starting GCSE content at school, but my life isn't going great rn... I've been having panic attacks and ppl keep dumping their problems on me. These ppl are younger than me and I cant tell them that I have my own stuff to deal with (and I'm already struggling with that) without having further questions asked.
What do I do? I can't focus in lessons or on HW and I can't tell teachers the reason why my HW is sometimes overdue because I have serious trust issues from unresolved trauma from when I was 12-13. Any suggestions would be rly helpful...

Reply 1

Original post
by charcoal30151
I'm in y10 (15y/o), starting GCSE content at school, but my life isn't going great rn... I've been having panic attacks and ppl keep dumping their problems on me. These ppl are younger than me and I cant tell them that I have my own stuff to deal with (and I'm already struggling with that) without having further questions asked.
What do I do? I can't focus in lessons or on HW and I can't tell teachers the reason why my HW is sometimes overdue because I have serious trust issues from unresolved trauma from when I was 12-13. Any suggestions would be rly helpful...

Hey! first of all I'm really sorry that you are feeling this way. This is way too much for a 15 year old. You are not meant to carry everyone else's problems and suffer because you can't reply to them at some point. It's fine to set boundaries with them even if they are younger than you. You don't need to explain everything to them, just a 'I'm busy right now I'll talk to you when I'm free' is enough for a while to have your own peace of mind. And about school work, you don't need to explain your whole story to them, you can say, 'I've been struggling with some issues/stress lately, so please give me some time'. They might try to call your parents for that, but it will be fine as you are a kid and they will definitely understand it. But honestly you also deserve support from a good adult or a teacher or a counsellor or a closest friend, relative or someone who you trust right now. It can make a huge difference even if you won't like it at first. So your younger friends might make you feel guilty if you say no or delay helping their problems, but looking after yourself first is more important than solving other's problems.Also try this method for some weeks it might help you- get up in the morning sit on your bed in a comfortable way and do some meditation for some minutes closing your eyes and forgetting about everything else. then after that try to take a shower so you will feel refreshed then do your other daily work. It will take some time to improve the state you are in right now, but that's totally fine. So I hope this finds helpful and I hope you overcome this as quickly as possible. Stay strong!!!

Reply 2

Original post
by Anonymous
Hey! first of all I'm really sorry that you are feeling this way. This is way too much for a 15 year old. You are not meant to carry everyone else's problems and suffer because you can't reply to them at some point. It's fine to set boundaries with them even if they are younger than you. You don't need to explain everything to them, just a 'I'm busy right now I'll talk to you when I'm free' is enough for a while to have your own peace of mind. And about school work, you don't need to explain your whole story to them, you can say, 'I've been struggling with some issues/stress lately, so please give me some time'. They might try to call your parents for that, but it will be fine as you are a kid and they will definitely understand it. But honestly you also deserve support from a good adult or a teacher or a counsellor or a closest friend, relative or someone who you trust right now. It can make a huge difference even if you won't like it at first. So your younger friends might make you feel guilty if you say no or delay helping their problems, but looking after yourself first is more important than solving other's problems.Also try this method for some weeks it might help you- get up in the morning sit on your bed in a comfortable way and do some meditation for some minutes closing your eyes and forgetting about everything else. then after that try to take a shower so you will feel refreshed then do your other daily work. It will take some time to improve the state you are in right now, but that's totally fine. So I hope this finds helpful and I hope you overcome this as quickly as possible. Stay strong!!!

Hey thanks I really appreciate that. Most of them are telling me about being abused at home and making me swear not to tell anybody. I feel like I really need to be telling teachers but I don't want to lose them as friends... do you have any advice for that?

Reply 3

Original post
by charcoal30151
Hey thanks I really appreciate that. Most of them are telling me about being abused at home and making me swear not to tell anybody. I feel like I really need to be telling teachers but I don't want to lose them as friends... do you have any advice for that?

Hey, just to jump in here, it sounds like you’re having to deal with some very heavy things. If your friends are struggling with serious things at home like abuse could you perhaps recommend they call Childline? Or they can also send a message if they don’t want to talk by phone. It’s anonymous and they will be able to give proper advise on situations like that as they are experienced in helping kids who experience abuse. https://www.childline.org.uk

About your panic attacks have you talked to your parents/ family about this? It could be worth going to the doctor because even if it is just a temporary issue, it means the doctor could give you a note to say you are having some anxiety / mental health issues and then the teachers would give you an extension on your homework hopefully.

Reply 4

Original post
by hannah_sakura
Hey, just to jump in here, it sounds like you’re having to deal with some very heavy things. If your friends are struggling with serious things at home like abuse could you perhaps recommend they call Childline? Or they can also send a message if they don’t want to talk by phone. It’s anonymous and they will be able to give proper advise on situations like that as they are experienced in helping kids who experience abuse. https://www.childline.org.uk
About your panic attacks have you talked to your parents/ family about this? It could be worth going to the doctor because even if it is just a temporary issue, it means the doctor could give you a note to say you are having some anxiety / mental health issues and then the teachers would give you an extension on your homework hopefully.

Hey thanks for the suggestions. I will definitely reccomend childline to them. Every time I have a panic attack my parents say things like 'don't be so dramatic' and 'stop pretending'. I don't think it would be possible for me to book a GP appointment without their permission. They don't believe in mental health ilness...
Also it's not a temporary issue because

Spoiler (trigger warning and concerning content)

Reply 5

Original post
by charcoal30151
Hey thanks for the suggestions. I will definitely reccomend childline to them. Every time I have a panic attack my parents say things like 'don't be so dramatic' and 'stop pretending'. I don't think it would be possible for me to book a GP appointment without their permission. They don't believe in mental health ilness...
Also it's not a temporary issue because

Spoiler (trigger warning and concerning content)


Hi again,
I just wanted to let you know I checked with my friend who works as a GP and she said you can definitely make an appointment without permission from your parents. You would just call the reception and say that it is a personal matter. She said that most doctors have local contacts with mental health support services especially for young people too. I guess it may be difficult to find a time for an appointment outside of the school day, without your parents knowing, but hopefully you can find a way.
If not, then you could maybe try to talk to a teacher you trust. You don’t have to tell then any details but I am sure they would want to support you if they know you’re having these panic attacks. I wish you all the best because I know it’s a stressful enough time when you’re having to think about GCSEs and everything.

Reply 6

Original post
by charcoal30151
Hey thanks I really appreciate that. Most of them are telling me about being abused at home and making me swear not to tell anybody. I feel like I really need to be telling teachers but I don't want to lose them as friends... do you have any advice for that?

Hi again. given that your friends being abused is not something you can handle alone. As a 15 year you've done more than another person at your age would do. I would say you can talk your teachers or a trustworthy adult about it and tell the teachers to look at it without involving your name and without raising any suspicions. Your friends might be scared that it will make things worse, but as a friend I think that's the best option you can do right now to ensure their safety. Also as others said here try to consult a GP or a therapist someday soon with your friends also. Maybe you guys can ask your parents to go to a ground or somewhere asking to hangout and then use that opportunity to go to a GP.(I'm not saying you should skip classes and go somewhere else). Hope this settles quickly. If things get worse don't hesitate to call Childline or even the police. Stay safe!!

Reply 7

Hi hannah_sakura and Anonymous #1
I just wanted to say thank you so much for the advice; it's really helpful and I will definitely look into speaking to a GP asap💙

Quick Reply

How The Student Room is moderated

To keep The Student Room safe for everyone, we moderate posts that are added to the site.