I need help with girls
Reply 1
Reply 2
Reply 3
I agree...
Desperation is probably the biggest repellent to women (or anyone), when it comes to attraction.
Whenever I'm out and about talking to people (e.g. down the pub / club etc.), I'll do it without any expectations from them. Whenever I want to talk to someone (this includes someone I find attractive), I'm not thinking about making her my girlfriend (or what she looks like naked), I approach with the mindset "She looks like an interesting person, let's find out her story" (because I'm a nosey f***er innit
). From this, I'll take whatever comes... she may end up being a partner of some description; she may be someone to have a quick boogie with; I may be her "Agony Auntie" for a bit, while she pours her heart out; the conversation may not go past that first approach (for whatever reason). Either way, I just take whatever comes in good spirit. However, in order to properly pull this off, you'll first need to learn to be happy with yourself, as a single guy. There are various ways you can do this... but one method is to focus on the advantages of being single. These include:-
•
1) You've got a massive amount of freedom; you can do whatever you like, whenever you like (with whomever you like)
•
2) You save a fortune at times like birthdays, Christmas, Valentines day etc.
•
3) You can self-indulge in all those taboo things, you can't (or shouldn't) do in a relationship (e.g. take any type of "adult entertainment" you like)
•
4) No annoying friends or "In-Laws", you have to pretend to like
•
5) You don't have to bother tidying your flat, or your place is always spotless (not to mention "the toilet seat" 
).
•
6) As a man, you don't (won't) have to walk on eggshells one week every month.
•
7) You can spend some quality time with your mates (well the ones who are single lol)
•
8) Perfect chance to take up a new hobby or try something you always wanted to do.
On that last note, going to things like evening classes is a proven method of meeting new people IRL and making new friends in general... and provides an alternative to the more traditional pub / club scene). Having said that, it's important that you have a genuine interest in whatever activity you're doing there, and don't treat it like a pick-up joint. If people sense that you're only there to pick up women, they'll quickly exclude you from the main social groups (if not ostracise you completely). Still, the nature of the activity should provide a safe talking point... and a mutual interest; hence a better chance of compatibility with the right person.
If you'd rather stick to nightclubs etc. then I would recommend learning how to dance. Most people on your typical night out can't dance for s***, so someone who can confidently move to a beat stands out from the rest of the crowd. Some people genuinely believe that how someone dances reflects what they're like in the bedroom... so it's clear how pretty much anyone (who's able-bodied) can double their sex-appeal on a night out by acquiring a bit of rhythm. Besides, if a girl asks you to dance, it's the height of bad manners to refuse (truth).
Reply 4
Desperation is probably the biggest repellent to women (or anyone), when it comes to attraction.
Whenever I'm out and about talking to people (e.g. down the pub / club etc.), I'll do it without any expectations from them. Whenever I want to talk to someone (this includes someone I find attractive), I'm not thinking about making her my girlfriend (or what she looks like naked), I approach with the mindset "She looks like an interesting person, let's find out her story" (because I'm a nosey f***er innit
). From this, I'll take whatever comes... she may end up being a partner of some description; she may be someone to have a quick boogie with; I may be her "Agony Auntie" for a bit, while she pours her heart out; the conversation may not go past that first approach (for whatever reason). Either way, I just take whatever comes in good spirit. However, in order to properly pull this off, you'll first need to learn to be happy with yourself, as a single guy. There are various ways you can do this... but one method is to focus on the advantages of being single. These include:-
•
1) You've got a massive amount of freedom; you can do whatever you like, whenever you like (with whomever you like)
•
2) You save a fortune at times like birthdays, Christmas, Valentines day etc.
•
3) You can self-indulge in all those taboo things, you can't (or shouldn't) do in a relationship (e.g. take any type of "adult entertainment" you like)
•
4) No annoying friends or "In-Laws", you have to pretend to like
•
5) You don't have to bother tidying your flat, or your place is always spotless (not to mention "the toilet seat" ).
•
6) As a man, you don't (won't) have to walk on eggshells one week every month.
•
7) You can spend some quality time with your mates (well the ones who are single lol)
•
8) Perfect chance to take up a new hobby or try something you always wanted to do.
On that last note, going to things like evening classes is a proven method of meeting new people IRL and making new friends in general... and provides an alternative to the more traditional pub / club scene). Having said that, it's important that you have a genuine interest in whatever activity you're doing there, and don't treat it like a pick-up joint. If people sense that you're only there to pick up women, they'll quickly exclude you from the main social groups (if not ostracise you completely). Still, the nature of the activity should provide a safe talking point... and a mutual interest; hence a better chance of compatibility with the right person.
If you'd rather stick to nightclubs etc. then I would recommend learning how to dance. Most people on your typical night out can't dance for s***, so someone who can confidently move to a beat stands out from the rest of the crowd. Some people genuinely believe that how someone dances reflects what they're like in the bedroom... so it's clear how pretty much anyone (who's able-bodied) can double their sex-appeal on a night out by acquiring a bit of rhythm. Besides, if a girl asks you to dance, it's the height of bad manners to refuse (truth).
Great post. To which I'd add a few things.
1.
Aim to get into a relationship with someone who is overall pretty much the "whomever".
2.
Don't give birthday, Christmas, Valentines, Anniversary presents. Lover frame not provider frame. Be a good enough boyfriend that she's not going to leave you just because you give her nothing on those days.
3.
The adult entertainment that I like best involves someone else there with me. Anything else is a poor substitute for that.
4.
Annoying friends and in-laws are fine. It's the evil ones that are an issue.
5.
The level of tidiness and cleanliness should stay about the same, regardless of whether you're in a relationship or not.
6.
Be an emotional rock. A man that's in a perpetual positive good mood. And make it so that she never conquers your sense of humour, nor your reactions.
7.
Make it so that she never conquers your time. This includes you continuing to have an active social life outside of her. And vice versa.
8.
Her not conquering your time includes your hobby time. Some hobbies you'll do with her. some without. And vice versa.
For example, for the original poster, when you go out how does how you feel, think, speak, behave, compared to what's shown in minutes 1 to 8 of this video?
Reply 5
1.
Aim to get into a relationship with someone who is overall pretty much the "whomever".
2.
Don't give birthday, Christmas, Valentines, Anniversary presents. Lover frame not provider frame. Be a good enough boyfriend that she's not going to leave you just because you give her nothing on those days.
3.
The adult entertainment that I like best involves someone else there with me. Anything else is a poor substitute for that.
4.
Annoying friends and in-laws are fine. It's the evil ones that are an issue.
5.
The level of tidiness and cleanliness should stay about the same, regardless of whether you're in a relationship or not.
6.
Be an emotional rock. A man that's in a perpetual positive good mood. And make it so that she never conquers your sense of humour, nor your reactions.
7.
Make it so that she never conquers your time. This includes you continuing to have an active social life outside of her. And vice versa.
8.
Her not conquering your time includes your hobby time. Some hobbies you'll do with her. some without. And vice versa.
For example, for the original poster, when you go out how does how you feel, think, speak, behave, compared to what's shown in minutes 1 to 8 of this video?
dont listen to any of this (from a girl)
Reply 6
1.
Aim to get into a relationship with someone who is overall pretty much the "whomever".
2.
Don't give birthday, Christmas, Valentines, Anniversary presents. Lover frame not provider frame. Be a good enough boyfriend that she's not going to leave you just because you give her nothing on those days.
3.
The adult entertainment that I like best involves someone else there with me. Anything else is a poor substitute for that.
4.
Annoying friends and in-laws are fine. It's the evil ones that are an issue.
5.
The level of tidiness and cleanliness should stay about the same, regardless of whether you're in a relationship or not.
6.
Be an emotional rock. A man that's in a perpetual positive good mood. And make it so that she never conquers your sense of humour, nor your reactions.
7.
Make it so that she never conquers your time. This includes you continuing to have an active social life outside of her. And vice versa.
8.
Her not conquering your time includes your hobby time. Some hobbies you'll do with her. some without. And vice versa.
For example, for the original poster, when you go out how does how you feel, think, speak, behave, compared to what's shown in minutes 1 to 8 of this video?
Lol,
I'm glad you liked my post and wanted to put your own twist on it (I'm being 100% genuine here BTW)... however, most of what you've added actually defeats the objective of my post.
The main point of the post (to cut a long story short) was to highlight the advantages of being single; i.e. there's a whole load of BS you don't need to worry about. I just tried to dress it up in a light-hearted humoristic way.
The OP (by his own admission) is desperate, and that's probably coming across to each and every girl he's approaching; we all know desperate guys repel girls like 2 magnets of the same pole. He's already done several things to try and improve his outlook, but none of it has worked. Therefore, I think he'd be better off letting go of the whole "girlfriend" thingy (for the time being , at least) and learning to be happy in his own company. If he can commit to achieving this goal, not only will he be happier in/ with himself, but also more attractive to girls (in general). Same dynamic as when that thing you're looking for turns up when you've stopped looking for it.
@OP:- It sounds like you're approaching girls you already know (I think I may have spoken to you before?). If this is the case, I would forget about them (their perception of you is tainted, and they're probably getting irritated if you're continuously asking them TBF). Focus on yourself as I suggested... and later on, set your sights on someone new (also somewhere new); that gives you a chance to start afresh, on a clean sheet of paper.
Reply 7
I'm glad you liked my post and wanted to put your own twist on it (I'm being 100% genuine here BTW)... however, most of what you've added actually defeats the objective of my post.
The main point of the post (to cut a long story short) was to highlight the advantages of being single; i.e. there's a whole load of BS you don't need to worry about. I just tried to dress it up in a light-hearted humoristic way.
The OP (by his own admission) is desperate, and that's probably coming across to each and every girl he's approaching; we all know desperate guys repel girls like 2 magnets of the same pole. He's already done several things to try and improve his outlook, but none of it has worked. Therefore, I think he'd be better off letting go of the whole "girlfriend" thingy (for the time being , at least) and learning to be happy in his own company. If he can commit to achieving this goal, not only will he be happier in/ with himself, but also more attractive to girls (in general). Same dynamic as when that thing you're looking for turns up when you've stopped looking for it.
@OP:- It sounds like you're approaching girls you already know (I think I may have spoken to you before?). If this is the case, I would forget about them (their perception of you is tainted, and they're probably getting irritated if you're continuously asking them TBF). Focus on yourself as I suggested... and later on, set your sights on someone new (also somewhere new); that gives you a chance to start afresh, on a clean sheet of paper.
The points you made about not being desperate, not being outcome dependent and being content with yourself are all basic fundamentals for getting a girlfriend. They are all worth repeating and underlining and the original poster should incorporate them into who and what he is.
The list you made about the advantages of being single are all highly valid - especially in the context of how most people approach relationships.
However, one only has to look at things like divorce statistics and "loneliness epidemic" statistics to realise that many people are poor to mediocre at romantic relationships. And that there may well be better alternatives to thinking, speaking and behaving like an "Average Joe".
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