My Sexuality journey

. I’m female but I hate the word girl or woman and use they them pronouns, I used to be straight until I was 18 , LGBTQ wasn’t spoken about and I’m Indian and they only portrayed straight relationships so that’s what I looked at . Then western influences TikTok I realised I’m bisexual but since I was new I was like I can only like girls who have short hair and dress guyish. From where I was in high school a girl I knew was bi and my whole class made fun of her I felt so horrible for her but thought no I’m not bi.

So when TikTok insta took over I saw girls who acted like guys so I was like right I’m bisexual. But then later I started to realise gender doesn’t matter neither does their expression and I can like a full on girl too. So I ended up being pansexual now .

And yeah

Straight to bi to pan very quickly

0 to 19 was straight then 19 onwards I realised I was bi and then pan

Being bi or pan was always within me deep down I just didn’t know due to a lack of exposure u don’t see portyatal like that yk.

Anyway it is a beautiful discovery im 20 now but I hate the fact that I didn’t know before about this yk. I love being bisexual gay pansexual. But nobody can tell I look so feminine. As in tomboy but like a feminine tomboy if that makes sense. Nobody knows but depending on the person like if it’s a guy I be more masculine and when I’m with a girl I’m more femme.

Especially when I was 12-13 everybody made fun of it. My school was a mixed school full of Muslims and Indians and all they did was make fun of them both males and females but males were worse.

Reply 1

Old Skool Freak

That's one of the great things about being in the western world. The fact that we have the privilege and freedom to fancy whoever we like is f***ing awesome.

At least you found out who / what you are... hopefully you'll find that special someone, and your family will be excepting of you and them.

Reply 2

Crazy Jamie

I understand not liking the idea that you didn't know before now, but in fairness, school is a very challenging environment to explore sexuality and discover these things at the best of times. I think you've done very well to come to these realisations by the age of 20. You have so long to act on them now. So many people don't realise these things until much later in life.

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

I find it hard myself coming out of the closet I don’t want to be gay cause I just fear it a lot I never tried having same sex as it just never was for me. I might try it some day

Reply 4

Kathy89

At 20 I only started to accept I am bi-curious and most of people are bi-curious.

The world is so advanced in this right now. The world is much more accepting than before.

I am bi-sexual/pan-sexual/demi-sexual, I don't like labels but that's how I describe myself. I'm also polyamorous, although having only one partner currently, she knows I'm poly and accepts it.

Anyway, it is great that at 20 you have done so much change considering your background. That's really great to hear that.

Reply 5

Kathy89

Original post

by Anonymous

I find it hard myself coming out of the closet I don’t want to be gay cause I just fear it a lot I never tried having same sex as it just never was for me. I might try it some day

I had a male partner for almost 10 years, we were even engaged at one point. I thought that although I'm bi-curious, same sex relationships are not for me.
Now I'm in a same sex relationship and never felt better.
Everything can change, just be honest with yourself.