My BF cheated on me at a college party with some girl he pretended to not know
There was a college party that i didnt go to because i had some things that i needed to do. We ve been together for 3 years and everythings been fine till now, no problems or any other girls involved. Well, it turns out i was wrong the entire time and maybe this isn't the first time he has done this or it indeed happened for the first time as hes telling me. Anyway, as i was doing my stuff, i got a picture from my friend of him kissing with some girl that ive seen a few times. When i asked him what happened, he first pretended he had no idea about me then told me it was because of some stupid drinking app chug and how it meant nothing serious. Now idk what to do, i wanna dump him but its been so nice these 3 years. Most of my friends re telling me to do it, but im just not sure
Reply 1
This is ultimately a judgement call for you to make. However, you having been together for three years is not a good reason to stay with someone in and of itself. Three years is a long relationship in college terms, but it is a very short relationship in the context of the rest of your lives. You cannot maintain a long term relationship without trust. The reality is that if you cannot trust him to remain faithful to you, the relationship cannot and will not work, and it is far better to break it off now than later down the line after you've lived together significantly longer, are married and/or have had children, when the breakup will be immeasurably more painful and difficult.
In a minority of cases, relationships can recover from someone cheating, but that very much requires the person who has cheated to be honest and up front about their behaviour, recognise the significance of it, and actively work on the factors that led to it so that they can rebuild trust and their partner can be satisfied that it will not happen again. That is usually just not possible, and here it seems as though your boyfriend initially lied about cheating on you, and then played down its significance when shown proof of it. The dishonesty and minimising his behaviour are both massive red flags in my view. Unless there is more detail here that we're missing which makes the situation retrievable, I think it's a very easy decision to break up with him. You deserve better.
In a minority of cases, relationships can recover from someone cheating, but that very much requires the person who has cheated to be honest and up front about their behaviour, recognise the significance of it, and actively work on the factors that led to it so that they can rebuild trust and their partner can be satisfied that it will not happen again. That is usually just not possible, and here it seems as though your boyfriend initially lied about cheating on you, and then played down its significance when shown proof of it. The dishonesty and minimising his behaviour are both massive red flags in my view. Unless there is more detail here that we're missing which makes the situation retrievable, I think it's a very easy decision to break up with him. You deserve better.
Reply 2
21
Ultimately if you want to give it a go and you feel he’s genuinely remorseful then why not. But if you don’t trust him anymore it might be better to dump him. In any events tell him if there’s anymore shenanigans he’s out
Reply 3
Dump him!!!
Reply 4
19
Original post
by AnonymousThere was a college party that i didnt go to because i had some things that i needed to do. We ve been together for 3 years and everythings been fine till now, no problems or any other girls involved. Well, it turns out i was wrong the entire time and maybe this isn't the first time he has done this or it indeed happened for the first time as hes telling me. Anyway, as i was doing my stuff, i got a picture from my friend of him kissing with some girl that ive seen a few times. When i asked him what happened, he first pretended he had no idea about me then told me it was because of some stupid drinking app chug and how it meant nothing serious. Now idk what to do, i wanna dump him but its been so nice these 3 years. Most of my friends re telling me to do it, but im just not sure
I agree with your friends- dump him. 3 or 30 years, once he has cheated you'll never be able to trust him again.
(edited 1 month ago)
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