Screw everything.
I don't freaking know aht I'm doing with my life anmore. I'm trying so hard to get it back on track but it seems all I ever do is scrol scroll scroll. Like, my mum keeps sending me these additional courses I should do 'for my future.' I know she means well and everything, but i feel like a goddamn loser. I have exams in a month I really need to study for, even though I cant sit down and just do it. I feel absolutely miserable but guess what? No one freaking cares if I cry and even find me annoying for it so I just keep everything in. Even typing this out makes me sick, as if im making a huge deal over something so easily fixedx. I mean, I probably am. I'm literally going out with my friend tmmw. But I dont know what I'm feeling and I dont like it.
Reply 1
19
Original post
by Bee744I don't freaking know aht I'm doing with my life anmore. I'm trying so hard to get it back on track but it seems all I ever do is scrol scroll scroll. Like, my mum keeps sending me these additional courses I should do 'for my future.' I know she means well and everything, but i feel like a goddamn loser. I have exams in a month I really need to study for, even though I cant sit down and just do it. I feel absolutely miserable but guess what? No one freaking cares if I cry and even find me annoying for it so I just keep everything in. Even typing this out makes me sick, as if im making a huge deal over something so easily fixedx. I mean, I probably am. I'm literally going out with my friend tmmw. But I dont know what I'm feeling and I dont like it.
Delete your social media accounts, it's hard but I did it as I'm in Y13 and need to lock in for my A-levels.
It's a good thing you're going out with your friend! But yeah, you're definitely gonna have to knuckle down for those exams. You should defo delete your social apps from your phone for the time, at least. Going to the library at your uni to study is also great for concentrating if you're struggling at home.
As for your emotions, I'm not the best person to give advice. But keeping a journal & keeping even slightly active will help a lot.
Reply 2
Turn off your phone.
Reply 3
Original post
by Bee744I don't freaking know aht I'm doing with my life anmore. I'm trying so hard to get it back on track but it seems all I ever do is scrol scroll scroll. Like, my mum keeps sending me these additional courses I should do 'for my future.' I know she means well and everything, but i feel like a goddamn loser. I have exams in a month I really need to study for, even though I cant sit down and just do it. I feel absolutely miserable but guess what? No one freaking cares if I cry and even find me annoying for it so I just keep everything in. Even typing this out makes me sick, as if im making a huge deal over something so easily fixedx. I mean, I probably am. I'm literally going out with my friend tmmw. But I dont know what I'm feeling and I dont like it.
Believe in yourself. You got this and once u have a vision nothing should come in the way for you to achieve that goal. Its you vs you . And i believe in you !!
Reply 4
19
Original post
by AnonymousBelieve in yourself. You got this and once u have a vision nothing should come in the way for you to achieve that goal. Its you vs you . And i believe in you !!
That's... pretty unconstructive but a nice sentiment
Reply 5
Original post
by Bee744I don't freaking know aht I'm doing with my life anmore. I'm trying so hard to get it back on track but it seems all I ever do is scrol scroll scroll. Like, my mum keeps sending me these additional courses I should do 'for my future.' I know she means well and everything, but i feel like a goddamn loser. I have exams in a month I really need to study for, even though I cant sit down and just do it. I feel absolutely miserable but guess what? No one freaking cares if I cry and even find me annoying for it so I just keep everything in. Even typing this out makes me sick, as if im making a huge deal over something so easily fixedx. I mean, I probably am. I'm literally going out with my friend tmmw. But I dont know what I'm feeling and I dont like it.
Hey,
Thank you for having the courage to share this. What you wrote doesn’t sound stupid, nor small. A lot of people hit this kind of wall, especially when there’s pressure from exams, family expectations, and that constant feeling of being ‘behind’.
I hit a “wall” two weeks ago, but I took the time needed to recollect and get back on track. Scrolling, avoiding studying, and feeling numb or miserable aren’t signs that you’re lazy, nor that you’re failing at something. They’re usually signs that you’re overloaded with work, and don’t know where to put the weight anymore.
You don’t have to know where you’re headed right now, and you don’t need to have it all figured out right now. It’s fine if you don’t know how you feel too.
For the time being though, try be a bit kinder to yourself. Start small, but start. Do a short study session, take one break from all the noise social media creates. Our brains aren’t meant to process large amounts of information every second of the day, and breaks genuinely help. Exams are also important, but what’s more important is YOU, not how productive you are this month.
If things keep feeling heavy, talking to someone you trust or a professional can help, not because there’s something wrong with you, but because you’re human. You don’t have to carry this alone.
Good luck,
Sabina
Reply 6
Bee744
OP
7
Thank you so much for all your words. I wrote that right in the middle of a breakdown. For context, it’s my first year in university(I take computer science.) I had a few issues relating to my mental health in the past, and it’s the pressure of forcing myself to not feel like…super depressed. I keep telling myself that everything is not a big deal and that I can get over it, but it’s everything crashing down.
Reply 7
Original post
by Bee744Thank you so much for all your words. I wrote that right in the middle of a breakdown. For context, it’s my first year in university(I take computer science.) I had a few issues relating to my mental health in the past, and it’s the pressure of forcing myself to not feel like…super depressed. I keep telling myself that everything is not a big deal and that I can get over it, but it’s everything crashing down.
Hi Bee,
Others have already given you some great advice - just wanted to reassure you that what you're feeling is sadly quite normal. Its easy to procrastinate by scrolling on your phone when you want to put off something you're worried about (I too am guilty of this).
Deleting your socials from your phone may be one way to tackle the scrolling, but equally you can set your phone a 'bedtime' where it automatically switches itself to silent after, say, 17.00. Might stop the notifications coming and bothering you. Have you thought also of putting your phone on silent for a couple of hours at a time so you can focus on going through some lecture slides to start your revision?
I'd also recommend trying to have a good wellbeing routine - make sure you are eating well, getting a good night's sleep each night and scheduling things in with friends and on your own to calm you down and break up your day in between any study sessions you plan. This will help your brain to consolidate what you've been learning and give you some headspace so you don't burn out.
If you're really struggling with your emotions, then you don't need to suffer alone. Have you reached out to your uni's student support? They might be able to arrange some counselling or someone to talk to about how you're feeling.
I hope this adds a bit, very best of luck and try not to worry - this will not last forever 🙂
Reply 8
20
Original post
by Bee744Thank you so much for all your words. I wrote that right in the middle of a breakdown. For context, it’s my first year in university(I take computer science.) I had a few issues relating to my mental health in the past, and it’s the pressure of forcing myself to not feel like…super depressed. I keep telling myself that everything is not a big deal and that I can get over it, but it’s everything crashing down.
Go and talk to Student Support / Student Wellbeing staff at your Uni - today.
This is exactly what they are there for, and they will be able to help.
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