How to get over feeling of comparison

Hello, I need advice regarding a feeling that I have been struggling a lot with and that's the feeling of comparison. I don't really compare myself to people online and I know online they only show the good snapshots and not the bad stuff, comparing online isn't really an issue for me. It really becomes an issue when I compare myself to people irl, idk why maybe because its tangible and its really been affecting my mood and overall mental health. Idk why I do it, I think its because my family holds me in high regard and I kind of hold myself in high regard as well (not to the point of egotistical) but like to the point "I can do better than this". Its kind of funny with people who are high achievers, once they achieve high they're constantly expected to achieve high or even better but people who normally achieve low if they achieve high once they're congratulated but not celebrated in the sense if they achieve low they won't be shunned upon. I'd say the worse comparison is academic and economical. Idk why I do this, I don't want to do this but its been going on for years almost like an autonomous reflex. Ik comparing is nature of humanity, many use it as a benchmark to evaluate their success and I understand that but how do I get the feeling of feeling down away. I want to stop comparing myself and just live my life freely without judging myself.

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Hey... sorry, I don't have an answer as I'm not too sure myself, but trust me when I say I get you. Especially the double standards between low achievers and high achievers, and just generally setting the bar too high and unintentionally making perfection the expectation. But hopefully, since there's you and there's me, there are probably others that feel the same way. Your point about online vs irl comparison is so valid, I think people always talk about online comparison but not about when the ideal person exists in the physical world.
I'm sorry that this isn't the answer you're looking for, but I hope you're one day able to look back at yourself and celebrate your own highs and lows without caring about others. Feel free to share (or not) if you're ever feeling low or struggling with comparison

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