Turning 20 soon and still haven't had anyone show interest in me... is this normal?
Hey all, this is probably one of those “I’m turning 20 and nobody has ever liked me” posts, but I’m genuinely curious about it. So, I’m turning 20 soon and the only time anyone has shown any interest in me was when I was around 14 and honestly, I was pretty annoying at that age. But I’ve glowed up since then (not like crazy, but enough to think I look decent when I dress up and do my makeup). My friends and other girls tell me I’m pretty, and a few of my male friends have said I’m “decent-looking” too.
I’ll admit, I’m a bit shy when I first meet people, and I don’t usually start conversations, but once people get to know me, I’d like to think I’m funny. I swear, this is not a “self-glaze” moment, I just make jokes and people laugh. But when it comes to guys, I’m awkward, unless we’re friends or the convo is really flowing. Even when I go to clubs or parties, no one ever approaches me, and I’m not really the type to go up to people either.
And honestly, I’ve never even had a talking stage. Not even a small one.
Now, I’m brown, and I understand that racial preferences exist, but I’ve noticed that even guys from my own culture don’t seem to show interest. And I’m not trying to make this a huge deal, I don’t really obsess over it or anything. It’s just that sometimes I get curious and think about it, then I go back to not caring much.
Just wanted to throw this out there and ask if anyone else feels this way or has experienced something similar.
I’ll admit, I’m a bit shy when I first meet people, and I don’t usually start conversations, but once people get to know me, I’d like to think I’m funny. I swear, this is not a “self-glaze” moment, I just make jokes and people laugh. But when it comes to guys, I’m awkward, unless we’re friends or the convo is really flowing. Even when I go to clubs or parties, no one ever approaches me, and I’m not really the type to go up to people either.
And honestly, I’ve never even had a talking stage. Not even a small one.
Now, I’m brown, and I understand that racial preferences exist, but I’ve noticed that even guys from my own culture don’t seem to show interest. And I’m not trying to make this a huge deal, I don’t really obsess over it or anything. It’s just that sometimes I get curious and think about it, then I go back to not caring much.
Just wanted to throw this out there and ask if anyone else feels this way or has experienced something similar.
Reply 1
The stuff that works well for men that want to find love also works well for women that want to find love.
For example here's a thread that should give you some inspiration:
https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=7643250
You should be looking to increase the quantity of men that you interact with. Once you've done that you should look to increase the quality of your interactions with them.
There's various techniques to mitigate shyness and approach anxiety.
One technique is to take yourself and your social interactions and the things that stress you less seriously than you have done up till now.
Another is to make it so that you feel more pain or shame for not breaking the ice with people you're attracted to.
At the moment you are leaving your romantic success to chance. And you're also probably living with a scarcity mindset.
The danger here is that you'll get into a relationship with the first guy that will have you. And that it will be down to chance as to whether he's a good one or not.
Domestic abusers tend to be good at sniffing out easy victims. And by being shy and inexperienced and nice in an overly accommodating way you may attract the wrong kind of man.
Be selective. Have clear boundaries. Be willing to walk away from any relationship you get into.
Sheri Argov's book "Why Men Love *****es" has a lot of great advice.
For example here's a thread that should give you some inspiration:
https://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=7643250
You should be looking to increase the quantity of men that you interact with. Once you've done that you should look to increase the quality of your interactions with them.
There's various techniques to mitigate shyness and approach anxiety.
One technique is to take yourself and your social interactions and the things that stress you less seriously than you have done up till now.
Another is to make it so that you feel more pain or shame for not breaking the ice with people you're attracted to.
At the moment you are leaving your romantic success to chance. And you're also probably living with a scarcity mindset.
The danger here is that you'll get into a relationship with the first guy that will have you. And that it will be down to chance as to whether he's a good one or not.
Domestic abusers tend to be good at sniffing out easy victims. And by being shy and inexperienced and nice in an overly accommodating way you may attract the wrong kind of man.
Be selective. Have clear boundaries. Be willing to walk away from any relationship you get into.
Sheri Argov's book "Why Men Love *****es" has a lot of great advice.
Reply 2
Original post
by mystified-siegeHey all, this is probably one of those “I’m turning 20 and nobody has ever liked me” posts, but I’m genuinely curious about it. So, I’m turning 20 soon and the only time anyone has shown any interest in me was when I was around 14 and honestly, I was pretty annoying at that age. But I’ve glowed up since then (not like crazy, but enough to think I look decent when I dress up and do my makeup). My friends and other girls tell me I’m pretty, and a few of my male friends have said I’m “decent-looking” too.
I’ll admit, I’m a bit shy when I first meet people, and I don’t usually start conversations, but once people get to know me, I’d like to think I’m funny. I swear, this is not a “self-glaze” moment, I just make jokes and people laugh. But when it comes to guys, I’m awkward, unless we’re friends or the convo is really flowing. Even when I go to clubs or parties, no one ever approaches me, and I’m not really the type to go up to people either.
And honestly, I’ve never even had a talking stage. Not even a small one.
Now, I’m brown, and I understand that racial preferences exist, but I’ve noticed that even guys from my own culture don’t seem to show interest. And I’m not trying to make this a huge deal, I don’t really obsess over it or anything. It’s just that sometimes I get curious and think about it, then I go back to not caring much.
Just wanted to throw this out there and ask if anyone else feels this way or has experienced something similar.
I’ll admit, I’m a bit shy when I first meet people, and I don’t usually start conversations, but once people get to know me, I’d like to think I’m funny. I swear, this is not a “self-glaze” moment, I just make jokes and people laugh. But when it comes to guys, I’m awkward, unless we’re friends or the convo is really flowing. Even when I go to clubs or parties, no one ever approaches me, and I’m not really the type to go up to people either.
And honestly, I’ve never even had a talking stage. Not even a small one.
Now, I’m brown, and I understand that racial preferences exist, but I’ve noticed that even guys from my own culture don’t seem to show interest. And I’m not trying to make this a huge deal, I don’t really obsess over it or anything. It’s just that sometimes I get curious and think about it, then I go back to not caring much.
Just wanted to throw this out there and ask if anyone else feels this way or has experienced something similar.
Here are some suggestions:
•
Join dating apps like Hinge and Bumble
•
If at uni, join a club or society
•
Don't stay locked up at home, go out with your friends.
•
smile at people (avoid the rest b**** face).
•
Be open to other guys outside your race like white or black guys. Some guys really like brown girls but there is a reputation that they tend to stick to their own kind.
Reply 3
21
I’d say you just need to make a bit more effort to make it happen. It’s only the lucky few very attractive set where it lands on a plate, everyone else has to work for it
(edited 2 months ago)
Reply 4
Original post
by Wired_1800Here are some suggestions:
•
Join dating apps like Hinge and Bumble
•
If at uni, join a club or society
•
Don't stay locked up at home, go out with your friends.
•
smile at people (avoid the rest b**** face).
•
Be open to other guys outside your race like white or black guys. Some guys really like brown girls but there is a reputation that they tend to stick to their own kind.
Hey
Reply 5
Why I'll date a brown if I can date a cute boi? LoL 😂😂😂😂😂
Reply 6
Hey you’re very cute
Reply 7
Original post
by AnonymousWhy I'll date a brown if I can date a cute boi? LoL 😂😂😂😂😂
You can baby let’s speak
Reply 8
Original post
by Hung hottieYou can baby let’s speak
Reply 9
Original post
by HunghottieHey you’re very cute
Thank you I’m
Hotter in person
Reply 10
Original post
by mystified-siegeHey all, this is probably one of those “I’m turning 20 and nobody has ever liked me” posts, but I’m genuinely curious about it. So, I’m turning 20 soon and the only time anyone has shown any interest in me was when I was around 14 and honestly, I was pretty annoying at that age. But I’ve glowed up since then (not like crazy, but enough to think I look decent when I dress up and do my makeup). My friends and other girls tell me I’m pretty, and a few of my male friends have said I’m “decent-looking” too.
I’ll admit, I’m a bit shy when I first meet people, and I don’t usually start conversations, but once people get to know me, I’d like to think I’m funny. I swear, this is not a “self-glaze” moment, I just make jokes and people laugh. But when it comes to guys, I’m awkward, unless we’re friends or the convo is really flowing. Even when I go to clubs or parties, no one ever approaches me, and I’m not really the type to go up to people either.
And honestly, I’ve never even had a talking stage. Not even a small one.
Now, I’m brown, and I understand that racial preferences exist, but I’ve noticed that even guys from my own culture don’t seem to show interest. And I’m not trying to make this a huge deal, I don’t really obsess over it or anything. It’s just that sometimes I get curious and think about it, then I go back to not caring much.
Just wanted to throw this out there and ask if anyone else feels this way or has experienced something similar.
I’ll admit, I’m a bit shy when I first meet people, and I don’t usually start conversations, but once people get to know me, I’d like to think I’m funny. I swear, this is not a “self-glaze” moment, I just make jokes and people laugh. But when it comes to guys, I’m awkward, unless we’re friends or the convo is really flowing. Even when I go to clubs or parties, no one ever approaches me, and I’m not really the type to go up to people either.
And honestly, I’ve never even had a talking stage. Not even a small one.
Now, I’m brown, and I understand that racial preferences exist, but I’ve noticed that even guys from my own culture don’t seem to show interest. And I’m not trying to make this a huge deal, I don’t really obsess over it or anything. It’s just that sometimes I get curious and think about it, then I go back to not caring much.
Just wanted to throw this out there and ask if anyone else feels this way or has experienced something similar.
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