I've technically dropped out 3 times, will this affect my future application a lot

Are you sure you're quite ready for degree level study, sounds like a lot of stuff going on? Do you really think off-line University is that different to online when it comes to the commitment it requires?

There isn't much actively going on anymore, these were just reflections looking back into my past tbh. I'm at a more stable point in life and I realise that I should've just focused on what I liked from the start, and I shouldn't have made the terrible choices that I made. I had then restricted myself to online studies mainly due to my age
And tbh I do think that in-person university is more challenging in terms of the studies itself, but the environment and process is a lot different to online studies, and I've performed best in that environment. I had experienced in-person university with my first degree, even though much of it was online, but the commuting thing was a huge blunder of mine and was the reason I had terminated my studies.

Have you submitted a UCAs application? You MUST include all previous study - you can't leave anything out.

I've not submitted it yet, and I will include that bit
I'm just scared of instant rejection without consideration of the change in my mindset, I was forcing myself down the route of online degrees, when I really shouldn't have
I feel they'd just reply with something like "well you've technically started 3 degrees, we don't want you", and I do get why they'd say that
But the first was a dumb choice I made when I was younger because of covid exam cancellations
and at that point, i should have arrived at where i am now, but instead i forced myself down the avenue of online degrees, thinking that was the only way for me to achieve something
I just feel stuck, and despite finally understanding my mistakes, I doubt I'll be considered at all

Your referee should explain some of this. Your PS can also turn this experience into a positive ie you are ready now.

Hi guys, my life was full of horrible choices and a bit of bad luck. I'm now wondering how to mitigate the damage caused by the fact that I've technically dropped out 3 times.
I'm applying to warwick and durham for mathematics, these are fairly high ranked universities for maths, and I'm quite scared I'll be looked at REALLY unfavourably for dropping out 3 times. First was from a brick university, and the second two were from online university degrees (the university of london and OU).
Should I email the universities with a backstory? And should I include the "university of london" on my ucas application? Even though it wasn't something I engaged with much? It was something I self-funded too. I stopped the degree in the first year too.
It is a lengthy backstory, but any advice would be appreciated:
I finished my GCSEs in 2017, my stepfather had left during GCSE periods, I was in a bad place mentally, and on top of that I moved houses because we couldn't afford to stay in our old home without my stepfather. In all honesty I didn't revise at all:
- I was predicted a 9, I got an 8 in my maths mock but a 7 in the real thing.
- I was predicted As in all my sciences but only got an A in physics and biology.
- I was predicted an A in further maths gcse but only got a B.
I know others would have just powered through it and still revised, I guess my brain was just affected differently from the events at that time in my life. I wanted to study chemistry, physics and maths at A-levels, but I needed an A in them all (at GCSEs, to stay in sixth form at my secondary school). I don't know why I wanted to do this combination either, I didn't put much thought into it at the time. I got a B in chemistry and couldn't, some people were talking to the head of sixth form and he let them on with just a B in other subjects, but i felt so defeated i went home and cried on results day instead. It was also the year, I was getting involved in some regrettable things outside of school.
Not going to sixth form left me really clueless with what to do in life, so I just tagged along with a friend to a college to study a level 3 extended diploma in engineering. I found it pretty boring, I ended up with a triple distinction. I do regret this and feel like I was better suited for A-levels (perhaps after thinking about my subject choices better), but this wasn't the end of the world.
The worst part of my college studies, is that I unsubscribed from the class that was teaching A-level maths, just so I could be in a class with my friend. I guess it was because we were the only people who went to this college from my old school, I feel like an idiot whenever I think about it. I was making bad choice after bad choice and that continued. And, I only have myself to blame.
I completed my engineering course in 2019, and took a gap year to self-study A-level maths (lol), I wanted to get into a better university. Mathematics was the subject I had always enjoyed, and I was on track to getting a really good grade (based on my performance on past papers). I had an offer from warwick for mechanical engineering but exams were cancelled [the 2020 exams] because of COVID-19. I was a private candidate and couldn't rely on any predicted grades, because I didn't have any.
I ended up making a dumb last minute decision to go to a university quite far from me. They had an online admissions test for mathematics, which they accepted instead of A-level maths, due to the exam cancellations. The worst part is, I didn't move to the city to study. I felt like one gap year had already made me old, and taking another would be even worse. Commuting was an issue and I ended up being late to group work meetings and lab sessions, and it was taking a sizeable toll. I do regret not taking a second gap year, and I do regret not moving to the city. I only completed the first year and I did okay in it grades-wise, it was mainly online though. The second year is when the commuting issues got bad enough that I felt it'd be better for me to stop. I really should've just moved to the city, idk why I was so set on staying at home. Likely because that was my plan all along, if I had gotten into warwick, as warwick is close enough for me to cycle to.
So it was 2021, and until 2023 I didn't do much, some online courses (like a government funded bootcamp in IT skills) and working in warehouses here and there.
In 2023, I began the computer science degree with the University of London, and it was quite a bad experience. I didn't enjoy it, and I "dropped out" after just a few months. I shouldn't have even thought about enrolling onto the program. I don't have much memory of it but from what I do remember, the process just felt really alien and not engaging at all. I think I had expected it to be similar to the previous university, where there were online lectures and a lot more interaction with lecturers/peers. I'm unsure if this must be placed on my ucas application too, or if it's just something irrelevant enough to exclude. I guess I picked the thing that was closest to mathematics. Idk what I was doing tbh.
I still thought I was too old for an in-person university, but I did want to get a degree. I ended up discovering the open university through a friend, and I realised they offered a mathematics degree. I did reflect upon the fact that I only really found maths interesting, throughout my engineering studies and even prior to that.
So I began an open university degree in February 2024. It was okay, a lot of the content I was already familiar with. I began comparing the end-point of the degree, to the end-point of brick universities, realising the open university did fall behind a bit. It kind of made me feel demotivated, it wasn't the level I should've been studying at either, I should have just consolidated any prior maths knowledge through A-levels and went to a brick university.
If I did go on to complete the OU degree, then, to bridge the gap in knowledge, I would need to take a few post-graduate modules from the OU, and that doesn't seem the best financially (not like any of my choices have been, but oh well). From my understanding, the first year of an OU maths degree, maps closely to A-level maths and further maths, but it does fall behind quite a lot. It doesn't cover everything in A-level maths and further maths, and even the topics it does cover, it covers in less depth. I was using the Edexcel maths and further maths books a bit, and there were subchapters which covered details that weren't touched on in the first year of an OU degree.
I began my second year of the OU degree (in october 2025), covering more interesting topics, like group theory and differential equations. But these topics were also covered in further maths. The depth was also lacking with the OU modules, the chapter on group theory in FP2 felt equal or more in-depth than the first half of group theory in OU's year 2. So it just made me feel like, well, I should consolidate all my mathematical knowledge and create a good foundation within me, and just attend a brick university. I ended up pausing my studies earlier this month, and turning to the edexcel books, I've booked A-level exams too for june 2026, so I can meet the entry requirements for brick universities.
I know I sound like I'm whining, I just don't know why I decided upon these life choices and I really should have just "circled back" earlier, and did the A-levels, and went to a brick university instead, for the one subject I actually liked. I guess that online studying (through these two platforms) wasn't what I had wanted at all, but it took me a bit too long to realise that. I thought that I was too old to go to university, but I was only 22, and now I'm 24, and, after reading around on the mature students subreddit and posts on thestudentroom, I realise I've just been a huge idiot.
I don't feel like my issue was with undergraduate-level studying, just with being in the right environment for me, and these online learning platforms weren't for me. The difference/lack in structure, and the disconnect from peers and lecturers. It just isn't what I had hoped for when it came to undergraduate studies.
So:
- The engineering degree was online for the first year due to covid, but there were scheduled lectures and a lot of engagement with the lecturers, it was enjoyable and fun. There was a lot more interaction with my peers too.
- The university of london's online cs program felt a lot less like that, I don't really remember everything from that, though, it wasn't for me.
- The open university felt somewhere in-between. There was a lot more interaction between me and my tutors, but it still isn't what I had hoped for when it came to undergraduate studies and I always felt like I was missing out on something. There is also the difference in quantity and depth of material.
If I could go back in time:
I would take a second gap year. I would have hopefully realised that I only ever really liked maths, and studied further maths during the second gap year. I would have sat both exams in 2021, and hopefully went to a good university at the age of 20. Even if I didn't do that, I could have just moved to the city my hastily-picked university was in, and powered through the engineering degree.
Instead, I'm 24 now, regretful of my life choices and covering the content in Edexcel further maths. I did spend the last year applying to apprenticeships for manual roles, and I was rejected from every single one for no given reason. I did interview at a lot of places, and they all seemed to like me during the interview!!
I was even called back in to look around the workshops/garages and perform a few tasks to see if I would like it. I'm guessing it's because I was studying with the OU, but I had planned on self-funding second year, but maybe they thought I would have left after my OU degree, and that makes the most sense. I remember in one garage, the manager would come down often and drop compliments about me. I was still rejected though, I have a license now and can drive to places, I've only ever worked in warehouses, and perhaps I am warehouse-bound for life.
I really dislike my life now, and I still enjoy maths, I do enjoy working through the edexcel books, even the OU textbooks were pretty enjoyable. I've also read through lara alcock's book introducing abstract algebra, and I do want to pursue mathematics at a university. I don't think it would be too hard for me to get a good grade in maths and further maths, but the grade in these isnt the issue, its me dropping out of degree programs.
If it does come down to it, I would just continue my OU degree, I have deferred my modules and will begin them in october 2026, unless I'm accepted into an in-person university. But, I just don't want to push through with a degree I'm uncertain of. I'm constantly thinking about where I will end up in mathematical knowledge, and I feel bad about how I could've been studying at a "better institution", I know I'm somewhat capable of studying in a more intense program than the OU's. And I know I can self-study bits I'm missing out on, but having it all included in the degree program is a lot better to me. The 3 years at warwick would cover ~5 years of the OU (because the post-graduate modules begin in alternating years).
TLDR:
My life was full of bad choices, but I've circled back. I tried the OU but I realise I want to pursue the study of mathematics in the more standard route, through A-levels and then an in-person university. I don't feel like I'm "restarting", just consolidating all my mathematical knowledge, as the first 1.2 years of the OU degree roughly corresponds to A-level maths and further maths.
Online university wasn't for me. I think I was just pushing myself into a route to get a degree, without consideration of whether I want that route or not. And I'm now a 3-time drop out at the age of 24. I want to go to a brick university, and do things "the standard way", with a proper base in maths through a good grade in A-levels (which roughly corresponds to what I've covered in the OU anyways). Should i just email the admissions department with a backstory, and with reasons as to why i left the OU?

x

Hi guys, my life was full of horrible choices and a bit of bad luck. I'm now wondering how to mitigate the damage caused by the fact that I've technically dropped out 3 times.
I'm applying to warwick and durham for mathematics, these are fairly high ranked universities for maths, and I'm quite scared I'll be looked at REALLY unfavourably for dropping out 3 times. First was from a brick university, and the second two were from online university degrees (the university of london and OU).
Should I email the universities with a backstory? And should I include the "university of london" on my ucas application? Even though it wasn't something I engaged with much? It was something I self-funded too. I stopped the degree in the first year too.
It is a lengthy backstory, but any advice would be appreciated:
I finished my GCSEs in 2017, my stepfather had left during GCSE periods, I was in a bad place mentally, and on top of that I moved houses because we couldn't afford to stay in our old home without my stepfather. In all honesty I didn't revise at all:
- I was predicted a 9, I got an 8 in my maths mock but a 7 in the real thing.
- I was predicted As in all my sciences but only got an A in physics and biology.
- I was predicted an A in further maths gcse but only got a B.
I know others would have just powered through it and still revised, I guess my brain was just affected differently from the events at that time in my life. I wanted to study chemistry, physics and maths at A-levels, but I needed an A in them all (at GCSEs, to stay in sixth form at my secondary school). I don't know why I wanted to do this combination either, I didn't put much thought into it at the time. I got a B in chemistry and couldn't, some people were talking to the head of sixth form and he let them on with just a B in other subjects, but i felt so defeated i went home and cried on results day instead. It was also the year, I was getting involved in some regrettable things outside of school.
Not going to sixth form left me really clueless with what to do in life, so I just tagged along with a friend to a college to study a level 3 extended diploma in engineering. I found it pretty boring, I ended up with a triple distinction. I do regret this and feel like I was better suited for A-levels (perhaps after thinking about my subject choices better), but this wasn't the end of the world.
The worst part of my college studies, is that I unsubscribed from the class that was teaching A-level maths, just so I could be in a class with my friend. I guess it was because we were the only people who went to this college from my old school, I feel like an idiot whenever I think about it. I was making bad choice after bad choice and that continued. And, I only have myself to blame.
I completed my engineering course in 2019, and took a gap year to self-study A-level maths (lol), I wanted to get into a better university. Mathematics was the subject I had always enjoyed, and I was on track to getting a really good grade (based on my performance on past papers). I had an offer from warwick for mechanical engineering but exams were cancelled [the 2020 exams] because of COVID-19. I was a private candidate and couldn't rely on any predicted grades, because I didn't have any.
I ended up making a dumb last minute decision to go to a university quite far from me. They had an online admissions test for mathematics, which they accepted instead of A-level maths, due to the exam cancellations. The worst part is, I didn't move to the city to study. I felt like one gap year had already made me old, and taking another would be even worse. Commuting was an issue and I ended up being late to group work meetings and lab sessions, and it was taking a sizeable toll. I do regret not taking a second gap year, and I do regret not moving to the city. I only completed the first year and I did okay in it grades-wise, it was mainly online though. The second year is when the commuting issues got bad enough that I felt it'd be better for me to stop. I really should've just moved to the city, idk why I was so set on staying at home. Likely because that was my plan all along, if I had gotten into warwick, as warwick is close enough for me to cycle to.
So it was 2021, and until 2023 I didn't do much, some online courses (like a government funded bootcamp in IT skills) and working in warehouses here and there.
In 2023, I began the computer science degree with the University of London, and it was quite a bad experience. I didn't enjoy it, and I "dropped out" after just a few months. I shouldn't have even thought about enrolling onto the program. I don't have much memory of it but from what I do remember, the process just felt really alien and not engaging at all. I think I had expected it to be similar to the previous university, where there were online lectures and a lot more interaction with lecturers/peers. I'm unsure if this must be placed on my ucas application too, or if it's just something irrelevant enough to exclude. I guess I picked the thing that was closest to mathematics. Idk what I was doing tbh.
I still thought I was too old for an in-person university, but I did want to get a degree. I ended up discovering the open university through a friend, and I realised they offered a mathematics degree. I did reflect upon the fact that I only really found maths interesting, throughout my engineering studies and even prior to that.
So I began an open university degree in February 2024. It was okay, a lot of the content I was already familiar with. I began comparing the end-point of the degree, to the end-point of brick universities, realising the open university did fall behind a bit. It kind of made me feel demotivated, it wasn't the level I should've been studying at either, I should have just consolidated any prior maths knowledge through A-levels and went to a brick university.
If I did go on to complete the OU degree, then, to bridge the gap in knowledge, I would need to take a few post-graduate modules from the OU, and that doesn't seem the best financially (not like any of my choices have been, but oh well). From my understanding, the first year of an OU maths degree, maps closely to A-level maths and further maths, but it does fall behind quite a lot. It doesn't cover everything in A-level maths and further maths, and even the topics it does cover, it covers in less depth. I was using the Edexcel maths and further maths books a bit, and there were subchapters which covered details that weren't touched on in the first year of an OU degree.
I began my second year of the OU degree (in october 2025), covering more interesting topics, like group theory and differential equations. But these topics were also covered in further maths. The depth was also lacking with the OU modules, the chapter on group theory in FP2 felt equal or more in-depth than the first half of group theory in OU's year 2. So it just made me feel like, well, I should consolidate all my mathematical knowledge and create a good foundation within me, and just attend a brick university. I ended up pausing my studies earlier this month, and turning to the edexcel books, I've booked A-level exams too for june 2026, so I can meet the entry requirements for brick universities.
I know I sound like I'm whining, I just don't know why I decided upon these life choices and I really should have just "circled back" earlier, and did the A-levels, and went to a brick university instead, for the one subject I actually liked. I guess that online studying (through these two platforms) wasn't what I had wanted at all, but it took me a bit too long to realise that. I thought that I was too old to go to university, but I was only 22, and now I'm 24, and, after reading around on the mature students subreddit and posts on thestudentroom, I realise I've just been a huge idiot.
I don't feel like my issue was with undergraduate-level studying, just with being in the right environment for me, and these online learning platforms weren't for me. The difference/lack in structure, and the disconnect from peers and lecturers. It just isn't what I had hoped for when it came to undergraduate studies.
So:
- The engineering degree was online for the first year due to covid, but there were scheduled lectures and a lot of engagement with the lecturers, it was enjoyable and fun. There was a lot more interaction with my peers too.
- The university of london's online cs program felt a lot less like that, I don't really remember everything from that, though, it wasn't for me.
- The open university felt somewhere in-between. There was a lot more interaction between me and my tutors, but it still isn't what I had hoped for when it came to undergraduate studies and I always felt like I was missing out on something. There is also the difference in quantity and depth of material.
If I could go back in time:
I would take a second gap year. I would have hopefully realised that I only ever really liked maths, and studied further maths during the second gap year. I would have sat both exams in 2021, and hopefully went to a good university at the age of 20. Even if I didn't do that, I could have just moved to the city my hastily-picked university was in, and powered through the engineering degree.
Instead, I'm 24 now, regretful of my life choices and covering the content in Edexcel further maths. I did spend the last year applying to apprenticeships for manual roles, and I was rejected from every single one for no given reason. I did interview at a lot of places, and they all seemed to like me during the interview!!
I was even called back in to look around the workshops/garages and perform a few tasks to see if I would like it. I'm guessing it's because I was studying with the OU, but I had planned on self-funding second year, but maybe they thought I would have left after my OU degree, and that makes the most sense. I remember in one garage, the manager would come down often and drop compliments about me. I was still rejected though, I have a license now and can drive to places, I've only ever worked in warehouses, and perhaps I am warehouse-bound for life.
I really dislike my life now, and I still enjoy maths, I do enjoy working through the edexcel books, even the OU textbooks were pretty enjoyable. I've also read through lara alcock's book introducing abstract algebra, and I do want to pursue mathematics at a university. I don't think it would be too hard for me to get a good grade in maths and further maths, but the grade in these isnt the issue, its me dropping out of degree programs.
If it does come down to it, I would just continue my OU degree, I have deferred my modules and will begin them in october 2026, unless I'm accepted into an in-person university. But, I just don't want to push through with a degree I'm uncertain of. I'm constantly thinking about where I will end up in mathematical knowledge, and I feel bad about how I could've been studying at a "better institution", I know I'm somewhat capable of studying in a more intense program than the OU's. And I know I can self-study bits I'm missing out on, but having it all included in the degree program is a lot better to me. The 3 years at warwick would cover ~5 years of the OU (because the post-graduate modules begin in alternating years).
TLDR:
My life was full of bad choices, but I've circled back. I tried the OU but I realise I want to pursue the study of mathematics in the more standard route, through A-levels and then an in-person university. I don't feel like I'm "restarting", just consolidating all my mathematical knowledge, as the first 1.2 years of the OU degree roughly corresponds to A-level maths and further maths.
Online university wasn't for me. I think I was just pushing myself into a route to get a degree, without consideration of whether I want that route or not. And I'm now a 3-time drop out at the age of 24. I want to go to a brick university, and do things "the standard way", with a proper base in maths through a good grade in A-levels (which roughly corresponds to what I've covered in the OU anyways). Should i just email the admissions department with a backstory, and with reasons as to why i left the OU?

Hi guys, my life was full of horrible choices and a bit of bad luck. I'm now wondering how to mitigate the damage caused by the fact that I've technically dropped out 3 times.
I'm applying to warwick and durham for mathematics, these are fairly high ranked universities for maths, and I'm quite scared I'll be looked at REALLY unfavourably for dropping out 3 times. First was from a brick university, and the second two were from online university degrees (the university of london and OU).
Should I email the universities with a backstory? And should I include the "university of london" on my ucas application? Even though it wasn't something I engaged with much? It was something I self-funded too. I stopped the degree in the first year too.
It is a lengthy backstory, but any advice would be appreciated:
I finished my GCSEs in 2017, my stepfather had left during GCSE periods, I was in a bad place mentally, and on top of that I moved houses because we couldn't afford to stay in our old home without my stepfather. In all honesty I didn't revise at all:
- I was predicted a 9, I got an 8 in my maths mock but a 7 in the real thing.
- I was predicted As in all my sciences but only got an A in physics and biology.
- I was predicted an A in further maths gcse but only got a B.
I know others would have just powered through it and still revised, I guess my brain was just affected differently from the events at that time in my life. I wanted to study chemistry, physics and maths at A-levels, but I needed an A in them all (at GCSEs, to stay in sixth form at my secondary school). I don't know why I wanted to do this combination either, I didn't put much thought into it at the time. I got a B in chemistry and couldn't, some people were talking to the head of sixth form and he let them on with just a B in other subjects, but i felt so defeated i went home and cried on results day instead. It was also the year, I was getting involved in some regrettable things outside of school.
Not going to sixth form left me really clueless with what to do in life, so I just tagged along with a friend to a college to study a level 3 extended diploma in engineering. I found it pretty boring, I ended up with a triple distinction. I do regret this and feel like I was better suited for A-levels (perhaps after thinking about my subject choices better), but this wasn't the end of the world.
The worst part of my college studies, is that I unsubscribed from the class that was teaching A-level maths, just so I could be in a class with my friend. I guess it was because we were the only people who went to this college from my old school, I feel like an idiot whenever I think about it. I was making bad choice after bad choice and that continued. And, I only have myself to blame.
I completed my engineering course in 2019, and took a gap year to self-study A-level maths (lol), I wanted to get into a better university. Mathematics was the subject I had always enjoyed, and I was on track to getting a really good grade (based on my performance on past papers). I had an offer from warwick for mechanical engineering but exams were cancelled [the 2020 exams] because of COVID-19. I was a private candidate and couldn't rely on any predicted grades, because I didn't have any.
I ended up making a dumb last minute decision to go to a university quite far from me. They had an online admissions test for mathematics, which they accepted instead of A-level maths, due to the exam cancellations. The worst part is, I didn't move to the city to study. I felt like one gap year had already made me old, and taking another would be even worse. Commuting was an issue and I ended up being late to group work meetings and lab sessions, and it was taking a sizeable toll. I do regret not taking a second gap year, and I do regret not moving to the city. I only completed the first year and I did okay in it grades-wise, it was mainly online though. The second year is when the commuting issues got bad enough that I felt it'd be better for me to stop. I really should've just moved to the city, idk why I was so set on staying at home. Likely because that was my plan all along, if I had gotten into warwick, as warwick is close enough for me to cycle to.
So it was 2021, and until 2023 I didn't do much, some online courses (like a government funded bootcamp in IT skills) and working in warehouses here and there.
In 2023, I began the computer science degree with the University of London, and it was quite a bad experience. I didn't enjoy it, and I "dropped out" after just a few months. I shouldn't have even thought about enrolling onto the program. I don't have much memory of it but from what I do remember, the process just felt really alien and not engaging at all. I think I had expected it to be similar to the previous university, where there were online lectures and a lot more interaction with lecturers/peers. I'm unsure if this must be placed on my ucas application too, or if it's just something irrelevant enough to exclude. I guess I picked the thing that was closest to mathematics. Idk what I was doing tbh.
I still thought I was too old for an in-person university, but I did want to get a degree. I ended up discovering the open university through a friend, and I realised they offered a mathematics degree. I did reflect upon the fact that I only really found maths interesting, throughout my engineering studies and even prior to that.
So I began an open university degree in February 2024. It was okay, a lot of the content I was already familiar with. I began comparing the end-point of the degree, to the end-point of brick universities, realising the open university did fall behind a bit. It kind of made me feel demotivated, it wasn't the level I should've been studying at either, I should have just consolidated any prior maths knowledge through A-levels and went to a brick university.
If I did go on to complete the OU degree, then, to bridge the gap in knowledge, I would need to take a few post-graduate modules from the OU, and that doesn't seem the best financially (not like any of my choices have been, but oh well). From my understanding, the first year of an OU maths degree, maps closely to A-level maths and further maths, but it does fall behind quite a lot. It doesn't cover everything in A-level maths and further maths, and even the topics it does cover, it covers in less depth. I was using the Edexcel maths and further maths books a bit, and there were subchapters which covered details that weren't touched on in the first year of an OU degree.
I began my second year of the OU degree (in october 2025), covering more interesting topics, like group theory and differential equations. But these topics were also covered in further maths. The depth was also lacking with the OU modules, the chapter on group theory in FP2 felt equal or more in-depth than the first half of group theory in OU's year 2. So it just made me feel like, well, I should consolidate all my mathematical knowledge and create a good foundation within me, and just attend a brick university. I ended up pausing my studies earlier this month, and turning to the edexcel books, I've booked A-level exams too for june 2026, so I can meet the entry requirements for brick universities.
I know I sound like I'm whining, I just don't know why I decided upon these life choices and I really should have just "circled back" earlier, and did the A-levels, and went to a brick university instead, for the one subject I actually liked. I guess that online studying (through these two platforms) wasn't what I had wanted at all, but it took me a bit too long to realise that. I thought that I was too old to go to university, but I was only 22, and now I'm 24, and, after reading around on the mature students subreddit and posts on thestudentroom, I realise I've just been a huge idiot.
I don't feel like my issue was with undergraduate-level studying, just with being in the right environment for me, and these online learning platforms weren't for me. The difference/lack in structure, and the disconnect from peers and lecturers. It just isn't what I had hoped for when it came to undergraduate studies.
So:
- The engineering degree was online for the first year due to covid, but there were scheduled lectures and a lot of engagement with the lecturers, it was enjoyable and fun. There was a lot more interaction with my peers too.
- The university of london's online cs program felt a lot less like that, I don't really remember everything from that, though, it wasn't for me.
- The open university felt somewhere in-between. There was a lot more interaction between me and my tutors, but it still isn't what I had hoped for when it came to undergraduate studies and I always felt like I was missing out on something. There is also the difference in quantity and depth of material.
If I could go back in time:
I would take a second gap year. I would have hopefully realised that I only ever really liked maths, and studied further maths during the second gap year. I would have sat both exams in 2021, and hopefully went to a good university at the age of 20. Even if I didn't do that, I could have just moved to the city my hastily-picked university was in, and powered through the engineering degree.
Instead, I'm 24 now, regretful of my life choices and covering the content in Edexcel further maths. I did spend the last year applying to apprenticeships for manual roles, and I was rejected from every single one for no given reason. I did interview at a lot of places, and they all seemed to like me during the interview!!
I was even called back in to look around the workshops/garages and perform a few tasks to see if I would like it. I'm guessing it's because I was studying with the OU, but I had planned on self-funding second year, but maybe they thought I would have left after my OU degree, and that makes the most sense. I remember in one garage, the manager would come down often and drop compliments about me. I was still rejected though, I have a license now and can drive to places, I've only ever worked in warehouses, and perhaps I am warehouse-bound for life.
I really dislike my life now, and I still enjoy maths, I do enjoy working through the edexcel books, even the OU textbooks were pretty enjoyable. I've also read through lara alcock's book introducing abstract algebra, and I do want to pursue mathematics at a university. I don't think it would be too hard for me to get a good grade in maths and further maths, but the grade in these isnt the issue, its me dropping out of degree programs.
If it does come down to it, I would just continue my OU degree, I have deferred my modules and will begin them in october 2026, unless I'm accepted into an in-person university. But, I just don't want to push through with a degree I'm uncertain of. I'm constantly thinking about where I will end up in mathematical knowledge, and I feel bad about how I could've been studying at a "better institution", I know I'm somewhat capable of studying in a more intense program than the OU's. And I know I can self-study bits I'm missing out on, but having it all included in the degree program is a lot better to me. The 3 years at warwick would cover ~5 years of the OU (because the post-graduate modules begin in alternating years).
TLDR:
My life was full of bad choices, but I've circled back. I tried the OU but I realise I want to pursue the study of mathematics in the more standard route, through A-levels and then an in-person university. I don't feel like I'm "restarting", just consolidating all my mathematical knowledge, as the first 1.2 years of the OU degree roughly corresponds to A-level maths and further maths.
Online university wasn't for me. I think I was just pushing myself into a route to get a degree, without consideration of whether I want that route or not. And I'm now a 3-time drop out at the age of 24. I want to go to a brick university, and do things "the standard way", with a proper base in maths through a good grade in A-levels (which roughly corresponds to what I've covered in the OU anyways). Should i just email the admissions department with a backstory, and with reasons as to why i left the OU?

Let me tell you this: Warwick’s maths department does not care about your past but your most recent academic records. I was at UCL studying engineering in 2011, but withdrew after half a year. Then I went to Stony Brook University in 2013, but withdrew after six and a half years. Then I self-taught and did A-levels all over again, along with STEP (got two 1’s), MAT (somewhere between 75-85, can’t recall) and AEA (got Distinction). Warwick and UCL gave me offers, and I went to UCL to study maths at age 30. So, don’t worry. By the way, my GPA was like 2.7 in Stony Brook, so not good records.

By the way, my age 30 was 2023, and I just submitted my application to Cambridge MASt in Maths, i.e. Part 3.