motivation for year 13

hii i'm currently an international student in year 13 who is sitting a lvls this up coming year - im doing aqa psychology, ocr english lit, and edexcel history!
theres a whole background into how i go into the education system, as i was not meant to stay in the uk for sixth form but that is just how ive ended up - anyway, my biggest and upmost regret is taking a lvls, i know that is a common feeling amongst students but i cannot describe my hatred enough for the system, mark schemes, and the whole amount of content you need to know. i have applied to university abroad, where as long as i pass even with a C, im in - as well as ucas as well which ive received 5/5 offers. i already know where im going, and i have five months left until im officially done, but the whole year since october, ive had this awful feeling of stress, axniety, and just honest fear about sitting these exams in the summer.
i have never enjoyed school, even back home in the usa for many reasons but i very much dislike the uk curriculum especially at the school im at - harsh teachers, favoritism, constant flashy people, and an honestly very draining competitive environment which has sucked even more joy out of the last year of school than exams already have. im really struggling right now in fear of my mocks, and the real exams. i study nearly everyday, with around 4-6hrs each day with content, active recall, past paper q's, mind maps, etc all you can think of yet i have this great fear - even with tutors for english and history who give me complete opposite feedback, and are very very positive
i dont think my school environment has helped, as my teachers seemingly mark me very harshly, and even when i seek guidance, i get told 'your fine just keep practicing' - ive never enjoyed 2/3 of my a lvls, and now i just despise all three. its this sinking pit in my stomach everytime i sit down, and the only reason why psychology is easier is bc its not so damn essay based and its easier to memorize the facts and apply to the questions.
i'm not planning to write full on here ranting, i know it seems such, but i really could just some guidance right now from students currently in my situation, or feel the same, or have done this experience. at this moment in time, all i want is to pass, im beyond caring if that is an A or a B, as my uni want 3 a lvls from A*-C.
if anyone has any advice on how to mentally keep going these next few months, deal with this immense anxiety and stress i have for next month and the summer, i would much appreciate it, as everytime i go to school i just honestly wish i could drop everything and move myself to uni, as this has been by far the greatest regret of my life.
please be considerate when responding, we may not agree or have similar expercines but even still its important to share whatever as everyone is different.
thanks!

Look, you're studying 4-6 hours a day and that sounds like utter purgatory to me. The obvious thing to consider is are you burnt out? Because what you describe sounds a lot like burn out to me.
You guys have been at this thing since what, year 10? Choosing subjects, study for and pass GCSEs, now A levels, choose, study, pass exams. This is only the first few steps of the pipeline my friend. University is more of the same only the flavour is different: it's still ice cream.
Yes, school is rubbish. It's full of competitive people, flash sorts and all kinds of distractions. It's your job to selectively filter away that stuff that erodes your energy and focus on the things that revive you rather than grind down your mental energy.
In terms of long term motivation, what is it you actually want out of life? That's a big old question at this stage in your life I know but if you can imagine a future you desire and then work out how to get there, it will become a highly motivational tool.
I recall a guy I knew in sixth form who was ultra motivated in the same mould as David Goggins. He wanted to pass his A levels and enter Sandhurst, the UK military academy. He knew his goal and his aim. He refused to use the bus or drive or get lifts: he'd cycle virtually everywhere, bergen on his back, in all weathers. Ride to sixth form, attend lessons, study and then ride home. The guy was a machine. I forget the actual A levels he was studying but one of them overlapped with mine. Tooting my own horn a bit I feel I was a a little more gifted than he was in that one subject we shared. But he picked up the content anyway, through sheer will of mind, got the grades he needed so desperately and entered Sandhurst.
Very few students studying A levels genuinely enjoy the content. Both myself and the individual I mentioned did not care a single second about the subject we were obliged to learn about, and truth be told, I reckon the second I left my final examination the entire lot left my cerebrum never to return, I suspect the other guy felt the same: we both knew that there was no way any of the content would ever be useful in our careers ever again.
All I can advise is that there are times in life where you have complete choice of action and there are only two logical options:
You can derive a small amount of satisfaction from the above just by knowing that the reality of this situation is that you are the one solely in control here. Use the holiday period to revitalise yourself and repay some of that time you have invested studying so intensely for so long.

Hey,
I’m also in year 13 so I may not be experienced enough to give you any advice but as someone who feels very similar to you except for the fact I barely revise cause I’m the worst procrastinator and my ucas hasn’t been submitted yet, I’m sorry you feel this way. I also go to a school where the teachers have favourites (the med students) as they predict them much higher( even if they didn’t do well in mocks) so they could get into uni but not anyone else. I go to a stem school ( it’s like a specialised school) so naturally there are lots of people who flaunt how well they’re doing, even one guy was showing off how he’s done with a level content for chem and has started degree level while I’m just about passing so I understand wholeheartedly how you feel, it can be so draining in such an environment.
The bigger picture is that you done your ucas and you have your offers, that’s amazing you’ve worked hard for it. I totally understand how you feel with all this immense anxiety and stress as I too have had such immense stress it affected my health but (this may sound a bit cliche) prioritising your mental health is the number one priority I believe. Try and spend time with friends or family or what I do is journaling. I like to just write down all my thoughts as if I’m clearing out my mind (idk if anyone else does this plus I feel time by yourself is the best). You can always talk to someone you trust as they will be there to help you, as if you venting out all your frustration and worries which also worked for me ( I personally spoke to one of my cousins who finished her a levels recently).
As you’ve said we have only a few months left and you’ve been doing so well your hard work will pay off! Just remember to prioritise yourself. Bonus we have a long summer awaiting us ☺️

Look, you're studying 4-6 hours a day and that sounds like utter purgatory to me. The obvious thing to consider is are you burnt out? Because what you describe sounds a lot like burn out to me.
You guys have been at this thing since what, year 10? Choosing subjects, study for and pass GCSEs, now A levels, choose, study, pass exams. This is only the first few steps of the pipeline my friend. University is more of the same only the flavour is different: it's still ice cream.
Yes, school is rubbish. It's full of competitive people, flash sorts and all kinds of distractions. It's your job to selectively filter away that stuff that erodes your energy and focus on the things that revive you rather than grind down your mental energy.
In terms of long term motivation, what is it you actually want out of life? That's a big old question at this stage in your life I know but if you can imagine a future you desire and then work out how to get there, it will become a highly motivational tool.
I recall a guy I knew in sixth form who was ultra motivated in the same mould as David Goggins. He wanted to pass his A levels and enter Sandhurst, the UK military academy. He knew his goal and his aim. He refused to use the bus or drive or get lifts: he'd cycle virtually everywhere, bergen on his back, in all weathers. Ride to sixth form, attend lessons, study and then ride home. The guy was a machine. I forget the actual A levels he was studying but one of them overlapped with mine. Tooting my own horn a bit I feel I was a a little more gifted than he was in that one subject we shared. But he picked up the content anyway, through sheer will of mind, got the grades he needed so desperately and entered Sandhurst.
Very few students studying A levels genuinely enjoy the content. Both myself and the individual I mentioned did not care a single second about the subject we were obliged to learn about, and truth be told, I reckon the second I left my final examination the entire lot left my cerebrum never to return, I suspect the other guy felt the same: we both knew that there was no way any of the content would ever be useful in our careers ever again.
All I can advise is that there are times in life where you have complete choice of action and there are only two logical options:
You can derive a small amount of satisfaction from the above just by knowing that the reality of this situation is that you are the one solely in control here. Use the holiday period to revitalise yourself and repay some of that time you have invested studying so intensely for so long.

In the same boat as thatblonde and I can confidently say that this message was very helpful and very comforting. Especially when you said that students do not enjoy the a-level subjects. Yeah, makes sense. The 'enjoy your a-level' propaganda is overrated and my sixth form team pushed it out to myself and my peers with the utmost will. Used to enjoy my subjects at GCSE's (English, RE and history), but I got into sixth form and do you know what? I couldn't care less about symbolisms in literature, Descartes and Plato and... - well actually history is fun. But it's just been so focused on exam technique rather than actual intellectual indulgence in the subjects. And you're right, I don't have to enjoy that, because quite frankly who would? It's simply just another case of memory work, and thats fine, cus I'm good at that. Thought I had to be emotionally invested in my chosen subjects in order to fully succeed. Man was that silly to think. Suppose I was upset about not having that same passion I used to have for these subjects, but your comment brought me to sense: you do not have to enjoy the subjects the system had no joy in setting up for you. Just a formality, a gateway into university. Really exposes the shortcomings of the UK education system. Is a timed exam really apt at proving my true suitability for a course? I don't so much think, especially when that exam is more something you need to practice till perfection until you reach the deadline of when you must sit it rather than actual merit-based showcase of passion for a subject. This idea brings a sense of doom, and as much as I will grieve the death of true intellectualism, I understand thanks to you that I just have to move past my grief in my death of passion and transition into a state of grit that'll help me get through the exams without upset and stress and instead keep a healthy balance between work and hobby. And hey, I suppose I can enjoy my subjects outside of the A-Level definition of them too. Just suppose it stinks a little that the education systems do not see subjects in the same way as I and another students do too but hey, what can you do apart from keep going.

yesss I 100% agree with you, what ErasistratusV said, and how we really just need to think here and be like, do we care? No. Do we need to be in love with the subject? No. All we need to do is to known it well enough to pass and get a decent grade. That is all we care and need at the end of the day.
The propaganda of A lvls is such a lie as you said, and it really imposes such a strict amount of lies, and depiction into the UK Sixth Form. Asking 16-18 year olds what they want to do, grades they need, and the pressure that brings is so unjust and a great amount to deal with: I 100% agree with you about the truth of UK systems being revealed with the A Lvl systems.
I also take history, English lit and Psychology and right now, I could not give two flying pigs what the meaning of the word choice of ‘blue’ means, I absolutely despise these subjects now and I’m so thankful that the degree I applied to is not an A lvl taken.
At the end of the day, im relieved to know that you unfortunately understand and feel what I feel, but we are near the end now