Difficult first term at Oxford

If you aren’t gelling with people in college, is it worth joining some university clubs or societies next term so you can build a wider network? That might also help with the lack of structure.
I’d also say that most people don’t make their closest friends in their first term. It takes time to find your tribe, and it’s unlikely that the people you get on with best happen to live on your staircase. That’s not to dismiss how you are feeling, but to reassure you that things won’t necessarily stay like this.

People often start out socialising in college because it’s easy, but it doesn’t stay everyone’s primary group. Many people find their best friends through some other shared interest, whether that’s music, sport, drama, or any of the more niche societies. Social dynamics shift a lot over the course of the first year anyway - the friends most people make in their first term may well turn out to be a lot less permanent than you think (and people may be acting like they have found their bff because they are also feeling uncertain and a bit lost).

In essence, I found settling into my college a lot more challenging than I initially anticipated. Coming from a school which sends many students to Oxbridge each year I assumed adjusting wouldn’t be difficult, especially given I am lucky enough to have friends at other colleges. Nevertheless, I found myself feeling really lonely and upset for a lot of the first term. I definitely did have some good moments, and have made some friends, so from the outside it would seem as though everything was going well, but internally I struggled quite a bit. The cohort this year in college is very academically driven and people in my accomodation especially do not socialise very much at all even when I make an effort, so going to my room would always feel incredibly isolating to the point where I would find myself in tears as soon as I entered. Although I have made friends I don’t really feel close to many people and have found myself lacking the sense of community and easy connection which I expected, and as a sociable and outgoing person this has been particularly hard. I think comparing my experiences to those of my friends at other colleges has only made everything more challenging, as I keep thinking that my situation would be totally different had I gone to a different college and found myself amidst a more friendly and outgoing student community which I have seen my friends experiencing. Whenever I spend time with these friends and their college groups I’m often much happier and able to integrate quickly, but this quickly turns into anxiety and sadness at my comparatively lonely situation in college. I found that the anxiety which I was experiencing over the first term also prevented me from fulfilling my potential with regards to my academic work, as I was often distracted and unable to concentrate, or felt too overwhelmed and disappointed in myself and the fact that my experience wasn’t lining up with what I expected and what others had. My end-of-term reports have been positive, as have my tutors in general regarding my work, but I do feel as though I have not worked to my utmost capability. I have also found myself totally lacking in motivation and energy, which has never been a problem for me before, and often waking up dreading the day ahead. Given the very limited contact hours that history students have, the lack of structure has only made things more challenging. I completely understand that these problems are very minor in the grand scheme of things, but have found that over the holidays I have felt significant anxiety over the thought of revising for collections and coming back to Oxford.

So sorry you are experiencing this. If you don’t mind me asking, what college are you currently at?

In essence, I found settling into my college a lot more challenging than I initially anticipated. Coming from a school which sends many students to Oxbridge each year I assumed adjusting wouldn’t be difficult, especially given I am lucky enough to have friends at other colleges. Nevertheless, I found myself feeling really lonely and upset for a lot of the first term. I definitely did have some good moments, and have made some friends, so from the outside it would seem as though everything was going well, but internally I struggled quite a bit. The cohort this year in college is very academically driven and people in my accomodation especially do not socialise very much at all even when I make an effort, so going to my room would always feel incredibly isolating to the point where I would find myself in tears as soon as I entered. Although I have made friends I don’t really feel close to many people and have found myself lacking the sense of community and easy connection which I expected, and as a sociable and outgoing person this has been particularly hard. I think comparing my experiences to those of my friends at other colleges has only made everything more challenging, as I keep thinking that my situation would be totally different had I gone to a different college and found myself amidst a more friendly and outgoing student community which I have seen my friends experiencing. Whenever I spend time with these friends and their college groups I’m often much happier and able to integrate quickly, but this quickly turns into anxiety and sadness at my comparatively lonely situation in college. I found that the anxiety which I was experiencing over the first term also prevented me from fulfilling my potential with regards to my academic work, as I was often distracted and unable to concentrate, or felt too overwhelmed and disappointed in myself and the fact that my experience wasn’t lining up with what I expected and what others had. My end-of-term reports have been positive, as have my tutors in general regarding my work, but I do feel as though I have not worked to my utmost capability. I have also found myself totally lacking in motivation and energy, which has never been a problem for me before, and often waking up dreading the day ahead. Given the very limited contact hours that history students have, the lack of structure has only made things more challenging. I completely understand that these problems are very minor in the grand scheme of things, but have found that over the holidays I have felt significant anxiety over the thought of revising for collections and coming back to Oxford.

Join some societies:
Register of Student Clubs | University of Oxford

I do understand the advice of joining societies, and I will, but again these don't seem to be (in Oxford) people's primary ways of making friends so was wondering if anyone had any other advice. Does anyone know if switching colleges after a term is at all possible, for example if mental health problems are raised as I do think this has affected my mental health

I also have been literally unable to study properly for collections, everytime I begin I literally cannot focus and get so stressed and confused that I honestly do not know how I will get it all done.