dropping out of Oxford after first term

Am I totally insane to be thinking about dropping out of oxford uni after the first term to take the year out to think about what I really want? Just about to go into my second term of my first year. I really struggled in my first term for various reasons. I am able to keep up with the workload, that isn't a problem. I'm just not totally sure that I'm in love with my subject and I have found the social aspect very tricky. Would dropping out and re-thinking A the course and B the university be a real mistake given how prestigious the uni is and how hard it was to get into the first time around.

Reply 1

The_Lonely_Goatherd

20

You're not totally insane. It's more common to feel this at/have doubts about Oxbridge - especially in the first term - than people let on. There's nothing wrong with/no shame in dropping out, but if you do drop out, you want to make sure it's definitely the right thing for you both short- and long-term, and for the 'right' reasons.

Would you be able to elaborate on what has been tricky about the social aspect, and what you do/don't love or like about your subject? The more info we have, the better the advice we can give. It's worth noting that (at least in humanities, 'back in the day'. I'm less certain about STEM subjects) you don't always have much say in what you study in the first year. So you end up having to take papers that you are uninterested in, or perhaps just not so good at. Things do tend to improve in terms of the number of optional papers you have, further along the course/once you've done Mods or Prelims. Then you can tailor the course and you may find yourself being more interested/in love once again! :moon:

Also, would you mind me asking if you're the same person who started the recent TSR thread about being really unhappy with the social scene at their college?

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

No I did'nt start a thread on the social scene. Everyone in my college is lovely and I've made good friends there in terms of the difficulties with social stuff its more about how I myself have been feeling struggling with anxiety and depression that has made getting involved with social events and things a lot more difficult. I'm not loveing the content of my subject at the moment (which I know is because its compulsory and would not be my choice) but more than that is because I dont love the essay style and im not really that passionate about it more generally. It feels to me more like I faked an interest to myself in order to motivate myself to get in and then when I got here I realised I wasn't actually that fussed about it at all.

Part of the issue is also that I'm very young for my year and I actually went to school in Oxford before uni so I haven't had much experience. It sort of feels like I've just kept on following the line to uni and then got here and realised I don't actually know what I want or am interested in. I've been thinking about rusticating for a year and then changing degrees. Is it possible to rusticate for more than one year?

Reply 3

The_Lonely_Goatherd

20

Original post

by Anonymous

No I did'nt start a thread on the social scene. Everyone in my college is lovely and I've made good friends there in terms of the difficulties with social stuff its more about how I myself have been feeling struggling with anxiety and depression that has made getting involved with social events and things a lot more difficult. I'm not loveing the content of my subject at the moment (which I know is because its compulsory and would not be my choice) but more than that is because I dont love the essay style and im not really that passionate about it more generally. It feels to me more like I faked an interest to myself in order to motivate myself to get in and then when I got here I realised I wasn't actually that fussed about it at all.
Part of the issue is also that I'm very young for my year and I actually went to school in Oxford before uni so I haven't had much experience. It sort of feels like I've just kept on following the line to uni and then got here and realised I don't actually know what I want or am interested in. I've been thinking about rusticating for a year and then changing degrees. Is it possible to rusticate for more than one year?

Thanks so much for answering my questions, I think I understand your situation a bit better now. I'm really sorry to hear you are experiencing depression and anxiety. I can well imagine and appreciate (having experienced severe depression at Oxford myself) that that could be making it a lot harder to get involved with social events. I hope it's not invasive to ask a few, more personal, questions - please don't feel you have to answer anything you'd rather not discuss. I am wondering how rooted to Oxford Uni your current depression and anxiety are? Like did you experience one or both prior to coming to Oxford, or are these new experiences for you? I'm also curious as to whether you are on any meds, and/or whether you have sought support from your college's welfare team?

I'm asking these as - whilst depression and anxiety are very good reasons to leave Oxford, if they are currently insurmountable - I usually gently advise people to try and make the best of all the resources/options open to them, before they make a final decision to go. Experiencing depression and anxiety is sadly more commonplace at Oxbridge unis than people let on - you definitely aren't the first person to feel this way, and you won't be the last either. I appreciate there's little comfort in that... but what I mean is that it is quite an understandable way to feel, and that there's no shame in seeking extra support whilst you weigh up/make your decision.

Do you think you might grow to like the essay style in time to come/gel with in better in future? I think not liking the essay writing might be the more insurmountable issue here - as, if you are doing an essay-based course, I'm guessing you have to write several essays a term/a week?

Rusticating (or perhaps even leaving, if you are very unhappy) to take stock and figure out more about your own hopes and dreams for the future would not be a bad thing to consider. I've never heard of someone rusticating for more than a year, so I'm not sure whether that would be possible or not. Would you be rusticating with a view to changing to a different Oxford degree (which might be a complex process) when you say about changing degrees?

Ultimately, you should always do what is best for your mental health. Quitting Oxford and/or changing subject wouldn't be stupid and there'd be no shame in that. Success can be found in plenty of places outside of Oxbridge! For example: my former PhD supervisor started an English degree at Oxford, hated it, left after six weeks. Took a gap year in India, applied to SOAS for a music and Hindi degree, went onto do a PhD. Now she is a well-known big-shot professor in the USA! :smartass:

The world is your oyster and health must always come first. Good luck in deciding what to do :hugs:

Reply 4

Anonymous #2

Does anyone know if it's possible to rusticate for less than a year (ie two terms and go back next October?)

Reply 5

The_Lonely_Goatherd

20

Original post

by Anonymous

Does anyone know if it's possible to rusticate for less than a year (ie two terms and go back next October?)

You used to be able to do that 15 years ago (I had a friend who left in Hilary term, came back in October later that year to restart her degree, before eventually quitting completely the Hilary or Trinity term after her restart), but I'm afraid I have no way of knowing whether Oxford has changed its rules on that :iiam:

Reply 6

Scotney

20

Original post

by Anonymous

Does anyone know if it's possible to rusticate for less than a year (ie two terms and go back next October?)

Yes but you have to start the year again.Son's friend had Sepsis and had to redo second year when she recovered.

Reply 7

Scotney

20

I think you might do better to stick out the first year then decide whether to rusticate or not.Gives you more time to make up your mind about Oxford and whether you could grow into it or to plan a gap year to explore your alternatives.Not aware of rusticating for more than one year Are you doing a STEM subject?I do think the move to uni is a shock to the system for many and am sympathetic to the not being sure thing.Only you can call this one but talk to friends family about how you are feeling and remember you can leave anytime ,it is not a cliff edge right now.

Reply 8

blakefrench

3

Original post

by Anonymous

Am I totally insane to be thinking about dropping out of oxford uni after the first term to take the year out to think about what I really want? Just about to go into my second term of my first year. I really struggled in my first term for various reasons. I am able to keep up with the workload, that isn't a problem. I'm just not totally sure that I'm in love with my subject and I have found the social aspect very tricky. Would dropping out and re-thinking A the course and B the university be a real mistake given how prestigious the uni is and how hard it was to get into the first time around.

I found your comment because i was searching Google for anyone feeling the same. Oxford has ruined my normally ok mental health, I think its ****ed with my physical health too because i took everything so seriously and finally burned out. I dont think youre insane, but i do know that i have been told MT is the hardest term out of all of them purely because its the first and all the new changes come at once. I say give it until Easter and reevaluate. Its funny because even if i dropped out as a way to save my mental health, i just know id get no support. Wishing you well, fellow first year 🙏

Reply 9

Scotney

20

Original post

by blakefrench

I found your comment because i was searching Google for anyone feeling the same. Oxford has ruined my normally ok mental health, I think its ****ed with my physical health too because i took everything so seriously and finally burned out. I dont think youre insane, but i do know that i have been told MT is the hardest term out of all of them purely because its the first and all the new changes come at once. I say give it until Easter and reevaluate. Its funny because even if i dropped out as a way to save my mental health, i just know id get no support. Wishing you well, fellow first year 🙏

I also think some people are carrying stress over from their A levels especially those of us who are perfectionists.Sorry to hear you feel you would get no support if you dropped out.Not uncommon sadly.Wish you a better term this time.

Reply 10

Anonymous #2

I'm personally worried that if I stick out the first year and find myself feeling as unsettled and disappointed with both my academic and social life as I am now, then I will have very few options as taking the next year off would make me much older than my cohort which I wouldn't want and I'm worried my motivation would be at an all time low. If I bring up rustication now, maybe I could 'start again' in October 2026 with a new cohort etc

Reply 11

The best way 33

1

Original post

by blakefrench

I found your comment because i was searching Google for anyone feeling the same. Oxford has ruined my normally ok mental health, I think its ****ed with my physical health too because i took everything so seriously and finally burned out. I dont think youre insane, but i do know that i have been told MT is the hardest term out of all of them purely because its the first and all the new changes come at once. I say give it until Easter and reevaluate. Its funny because even if i dropped out as a way to save my mental health, i just know id get no support. Wishing you well, fellow first year 🙏

Same 🥲 I’ve just been searching for others feeling the same. My mental health already wasn’t okay before coming but i didn’t even realise - I thought it was just a matter of willpower/just normal blues of life. With Rusticating/dropping out I know I’d have no support and that’s just so scary. I’m gonna give Hilary a go but collections are killing me rn (I’ve done no where near what i should have/need to do), I’m so burnt out and done. And i have 2 essays due in week 1 😭

Reply 12

Scotney

20

Original post

by The best way 33

Same 🥲 I’ve just been searching for others feeling the same. My mental health already wasn’t okay before coming but i didn’t even realise - I thought it was just a matter of willpower/just normal blues of life. With Rusticating/dropping out I know I’d have no support and that’s just so scary. I’m gonna give Hilary a go but collections are killing me rn (I’ve done no where near what i should have/need to do), I’m so burnt out and done. And i have 2 essays due in week 1 😭

These collections really do not matter so do not stress about that.

Reply 13

Anonymous #2

I am meant to be going back tomorrow but can't remember a morning when I woke up without a pit in my stomach about to cry - I could not feel less prepared for collections and also feel so anxious about returning into college and the social situation which I found so unfulfilling and lonely last term

Reply 14

Scotney

20

Original post

by Anonymous

I am meant to be going back tomorrow but can't remember a morning when I woke up without a pit in my stomach about to cry - I could not feel less prepared for collections and also feel so anxious about returning into college and the social situation which I found so unfulfilling and lonely last term

I am so sorry you are feeling this way.You must do what is best for you at the end of the day.Can you talk to your tutors and explain how you are feeling or the college nurse or chaplain.
Oxford may not be for you.Did you not make any friends last term?How are your parents reacting to this situation?

Reply 15

Anonymous #2

It’s not that I didn’t make friends - I definitely did and have friends in my college - but for me friends and community have always been SO important and here I really don’t feel that I fully click with any of my ‘friends’ in college or that I am properly close with them. I think we are just so different and since everyone seems so incredibly academically focused they don’t leave much time for friendship

dropping out of Oxford after first term

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