Have I lost my best friend?

sounds like she just changed to put it simply- perhaps something happened to her?
You should communicate your feelings with her once more and if she still seems distant or uninterested take time from the friendship because it should not be exhausting you
wish you the best

I have been best friends with this girl (we'll just call her X here) since 2022. We met online, as she lives in the US. We were both around 13/14 at the time. Now we're 17/8.
This summer, she travelled over to stay at my home in July for about three weeks. On the journey over, she met this guy in the airport. He's 18, turned 19 a week or so ago. They were chatting online throughout the trip. I didn't think much of it, as she did make out it wasn't going to be anything as she was going back to the US anyway and he's older.
Anyway, the trip was super fun, it was really great seeing her, and she made friends with some of mine, and we just had a great month together.
Then she came back this early december. She was to leave the day after Christmas, so roughly 3 weeks again.
Her mother messaged mine before the trip saying that X met this guy and she might wanna meet him bla bla bla. My mum & dad wanted to chat with both her parents about it, ie when she'd stay with him, how long, travel arrangements etc. They blanked my mum then texted a week or so before X came here asking if they wanted us to cancel the trip, just out of the blue. My parents obviously said no...
Then on the first weekend she wanted to visit him. She was really weird about telling my mum about it-- she told me, I told her to tell my parents (yaknow, courtesy...) and she acted like she was scared of my mum. I see no reason to be afraid of my mum, as they were super super close last summer, like mother and daughter, and X had acknowledged that during summer.
Anyway she told my mum ab it. Then she stayed with him Saturday morning-- Monday morning and it was whatever, but after that she seemed kind of disinterested? I mean she had all trip tbh, she was always texting him or her mum. I didn't bring it up, but it'd be like, midway conversation she'd just go on her phone and that was like a cue to just stop talking for me.
Anyway. I can't remember at which point this was, I think about 2 days after coming back from the guy's place, she says to me and my brothers she wants to leave early, bearing in mind there's 2 weeks left in the trip. I was like, 'no, why?' and she didn't properly respond, citing schoolwork (which she'd finished in advance months ago) and that it's 'whatever'. I told her to tell my parents if she's gonna do that. To which she goes to my mum and does, and my mum discourages her. My mum didn't say everything to me but apparently she cried because my brothers (children.) had asked why she was staying the night with the guy, apparently insinuating sex. My brothers are kids and innocent ones, they weren't insinuating ****. I know them better than anyone, she (clearly) just wanted to leave early. But I digress.
So she decides not to leave early. She tended to go 'out for walks' in the morning, as she'd get ready + eat a lot faster than me. Also I have morning revision classes over Xmas, which is when she'd leave.
Anyway one day I meet up with her after she'd gone out. I found her with one of my (not close) friends. I thought it odd she didn't mention she was with someone I know pretty well, but anyway. We all spent the day together. And it was fun.
Then on the last weekend of her trip, my mum had booked a tribute concert in a local hotel for her and one of my siblings. She'd already gone out, but my mum had reminded her before she left. I texted her before I left to tell her the hotel name and the time. She says **only then** that she'd just to happened to meet up with the friend from earlier, she saw her on the snap map, and it might be the 'last time' she'll see her again. So I told X she can go to the tribute a little late, and even with the friend because I had an extra ticket.
Yeah she completely ghosted me. Just point-blank didn't turn up. Didn't tell me that she wouldn't either. I was just waiting for her. It was ****. I went home and cried a bit.
She went home after me and was just so off from that day onwards. I had to lead every conversation, and she was just really really really disinterested, always on her phone and barely responding. Looking back I think she was annoyed we didnt let her leave early, because she just woulda stayed with the guy.
But yeah. Then she says she wanted to spend xmas with the guy on like, the 22nd. I was emotionally exhausted from trying to be social for 3 weeks with someone who didn't wanna talk to me. So I was like, 'yeah that sounds fun' and she left on the 24th.
She only texted me on the 29th to say she got home safe, then again on Jan 1 (my birthay...) to say she'd had a package sent out with some retinol or something when she first arrived because she forgot it and to just deny it at the door.
So I was like, 'okay'. Then it arrived the other day and it wasn't a package with retinol, it was a big thing with a state flag she'd promised to give my brother and more stuff that was clearly gifts for my siblings, alongside the retinol...
So he opened it and sent her a photo all excitedly, and she texted me to say that I 'can't return it' if it's opened. Then her mom texted mine to say that me and X made 'an agreement' to not open it. Like her mom seemed real p-d off about it.
BTW I did not 'agree' to anything like that...
Anyway it just seemed like icing on the cake that they wanted us to return gifts. Return them at 50 quid no less because of postage fees...
Anyway she hasn't texted me since the package.
Are we done? Like my tone about her here wasn't like, lovely. But I'm also annoyed with her, for the first time. Our relationship's always been super close. We're best friends. But she's not acting like it really, and it's hurting a lotttttttt and I really don't know what to do. Maybe it's because I'm going to uni a year before her, my life is moving on and we both know I won't have as much time for her as before??? But still!
I haven't really acknowleged my feelings about it yet. If I cry it's for 15 seconds then I have to stop because I don't know what to think or feel about it.
I don't even think I did anything wrong. I am so good at pretending to be social. And I tried so hard this time.
But I don't know. I've just been concentrating on my alevels a lot since then.
I don't know at all. Any advice at all would be really beneficial. Thank you.

So she basically left you early to be with another guy?

I really don't know. AFAIK nothing happened to her.
I'm kind of waiting for her to text me first, considering I texted her last three or four days ago to no reply.
My mum says I should probably take a break from it. I think I might, just for a while. It's clear she's taking a break from me, and my not doing likewise is a killer right now.
Thank you BTW

Wise, everything will settle and you will survive no matter what happens
best of luck

I have been best friends with this girl (we'll just call her X here) since 2022. We met online, as she lives in the US. We were both around 13/14 at the time. Now we're 17/8.
This summer, she travelled over to stay at my home in July for about three weeks. On the journey over, she met this guy in the airport. He's 18, turned 19 a week or so ago. They were chatting online throughout the trip. I didn't think much of it, as she did make out it wasn't going to be anything as she was going back to the US anyway and he's older.
Anyway, the trip was super fun, it was really great seeing her, and she made friends with some of mine, and we just had a great month together.
Then she came back this early december. She was to leave the day after Christmas, so roughly 3 weeks again.
Her mother messaged mine before the trip saying that X met this guy and she might wanna meet him bla bla bla. My mum & dad wanted to chat with both her parents about it, ie when she'd stay with him, how long, travel arrangements etc. They blanked my mum then texted a week or so before X came here asking if they wanted us to cancel the trip, just out of the blue. My parents obviously said no...
Then on the first weekend she wanted to visit him. She was really weird about telling my mum about it-- she told me, I told her to tell my parents (yaknow, courtesy...) and she acted like she was scared of my mum. I see no reason to be afraid of my mum, as they were super super close last summer, like mother and daughter, and X had acknowledged that during summer.
Anyway she told my mum ab it. Then she stayed with him Saturday morning-- Monday morning and it was whatever, but after that she seemed kind of disinterested? I mean she had all trip tbh, she was always texting him or her mum. I didn't bring it up, but it'd be like, midway conversation she'd just go on her phone and that was like a cue to just stop talking for me.
Anyway. I can't remember at which point this was, I think about 2 days after coming back from the guy's place, she says to me and my brothers she wants to leave early, bearing in mind there's 2 weeks left in the trip. I was like, 'no, why?' and she didn't properly respond, citing schoolwork (which she'd finished in advance months ago) and that it's 'whatever'. I told her to tell my parents if she's gonna do that. To which she goes to my mum and does, and my mum discourages her. My mum didn't say everything to me but apparently she cried because my brothers (children.) had asked why she was staying the night with the guy, apparently insinuating sex. My brothers are kids and innocent ones, they weren't insinuating ****. I know them better than anyone, she (clearly) just wanted to leave early. But I digress.
So she decides not to leave early. She tended to go 'out for walks' in the morning, as she'd get ready + eat a lot faster than me. Also I have morning revision classes over Xmas, which is when she'd leave.
Anyway one day I meet up with her after she'd gone out. I found her with one of my (not close) friends. I thought it odd she didn't mention she was with someone I know pretty well, but anyway. We all spent the day together. And it was fun.
Then on the last weekend of her trip, my mum had booked a tribute concert in a local hotel for her and one of my siblings. She'd already gone out, but my mum had reminded her before she left. I texted her before I left to tell her the hotel name and the time. She says **only then** that she'd just to happened to meet up with the friend from earlier, she saw her on the snap map, and it might be the 'last time' she'll see her again. So I told X she can go to the tribute a little late, and even with the friend because I had an extra ticket.
Yeah she completely ghosted me. Just point-blank didn't turn up. Didn't tell me that she wouldn't either. I was just waiting for her. It was ****. I went home and cried a bit.
She went home after me and was just so off from that day onwards. I had to lead every conversation, and she was just really really really disinterested, always on her phone and barely responding. Looking back I think she was annoyed we didnt let her leave early, because she just woulda stayed with the guy.
But yeah. Then she says she wanted to spend xmas with the guy on like, the 22nd. I was emotionally exhausted from trying to be social for 3 weeks with someone who didn't wanna talk to me. So I was like, 'yeah that sounds fun' and she left on the 24th.
She only texted me on the 29th to say she got home safe, then again on Jan 1 (my birthay...) to say she'd had a package sent out with some retinol or something when she first arrived because she forgot it and to just deny it at the door.
So I was like, 'okay'. Then it arrived the other day and it wasn't a package with retinol, it was a big thing with a state flag she'd promised to give my brother and more stuff that was clearly gifts for my siblings, alongside the retinol...
So he opened it and sent her a photo all excitedly, and she texted me to say that I 'can't return it' if it's opened. Then her mom texted mine to say that me and X made 'an agreement' to not open it. Like her mom seemed real p-d off about it.
BTW I did not 'agree' to anything like that...
Anyway it just seemed like icing on the cake that they wanted us to return gifts. Return them at 50 quid no less because of postage fees...
Anyway she hasn't texted me since the package.
Are we done? Like my tone about her here wasn't like, lovely. But I'm also annoyed with her, for the first time. Our relationship's always been super close. We're best friends. But she's not acting like it really, and it's hurting a lotttttttt and I really don't know what to do. Maybe it's because I'm going to uni a year before her, my life is moving on and we both know I won't have as much time for her as before??? But still!
I haven't really acknowleged my feelings about it yet. If I cry it's for 15 seconds then I have to stop because I don't know what to think or feel about it.
I don't even think I did anything wrong. I am so good at pretending to be social. And I tried so hard this time.
But I don't know. I've just been concentrating on my alevels a lot since then.
I don't know at all. Any advice at all would be really beneficial. Thank you.

Oh dear...
From past experiences with an ex-friend of mine, I fear it is possible that her meeting the guy was what did all this. I have had friends and my current friends have had friends who, all within meeting a boy, scrutinise and tarnish their closest friendships (in this case, you and X) over that boy. It is truly pathetic behaviour,,, I do not know why it is such a habit in people! Give her some time and she will realise what she lost.
Please do not spend any of your thought on her. You and your family seem very sweet from what I've read and, genuinely, let that deadweight go unless she is willing to be mature and communicate to you,, A one-sided friendship where one person does all the heavy lifting is absolutely draining and you do NOT need to deal with that at all, especially considering your a-levels! I hope your studies are going well,, stay safe!

Update, she texted me 'thank you'.
my last text had been about her package and how i could tape it back up... days and days ago.
yeah that's literally all she said...

Good lord...
I fear she does not seem to cherish you or be grateful for your efforts,, I really hope X comes to her senses sometime

Should I reply or what 😭

I have been best friends with this girl (we'll just call her X here) since 2022. We met online, as she lives in the US. We were both around 13/14 at the time. Now we're 17/8.
This summer, she travelled over to stay at my home in July for about three weeks. On the journey over, she met this guy in the airport. He's 18, turned 19 a week or so ago. They were chatting online throughout the trip. I didn't think much of it, as she did make out it wasn't going to be anything as she was going back to the US anyway and he's older.
Anyway, the trip was super fun, it was really great seeing her, and she made friends with some of mine, and we just had a great month together.
Then she came back this early december. She was to leave the day after Christmas, so roughly 3 weeks again.
Her mother messaged mine before the trip saying that X met this guy and she might wanna meet him bla bla bla. My mum & dad wanted to chat with both her parents about it, ie when she'd stay with him, how long, travel arrangements etc. They blanked my mum then texted a week or so before X came here asking if they wanted us to cancel the trip, just out of the blue. My parents obviously said no...
Then on the first weekend she wanted to visit him. She was really weird about telling my mum about it-- she told me, I told her to tell my parents (yaknow, courtesy...) and she acted like she was scared of my mum. I see no reason to be afraid of my mum, as they were super super close last summer, like mother and daughter, and X had acknowledged that during summer.
Anyway she told my mum ab it. Then she stayed with him Saturday morning-- Monday morning and it was whatever, but after that she seemed kind of disinterested? I mean she had all trip tbh, she was always texting him or her mum. I didn't bring it up, but it'd be like, midway conversation she'd just go on her phone and that was like a cue to just stop talking for me.
Anyway. I can't remember at which point this was, I think about 2 days after coming back from the guy's place, she says to me and my brothers she wants to leave early, bearing in mind there's 2 weeks left in the trip. I was like, 'no, why?' and she didn't properly respond, citing schoolwork (which she'd finished in advance months ago) and that it's 'whatever'. I told her to tell my parents if she's gonna do that. To which she goes to my mum and does, and my mum discourages her. My mum didn't say everything to me but apparently she cried because my brothers (children.) had asked why she was staying the night with the guy, apparently insinuating sex. My brothers are kids and innocent ones, they weren't insinuating ****. I know them better than anyone, she (clearly) just wanted to leave early. But I digress.
So she decides not to leave early. She tended to go 'out for walks' in the morning, as she'd get ready + eat a lot faster than me. Also I have morning revision classes over Xmas, which is when she'd leave.
Anyway one day I meet up with her after she'd gone out. I found her with one of my (not close) friends. I thought it odd she didn't mention she was with someone I know pretty well, but anyway. We all spent the day together. And it was fun.
Then on the last weekend of her trip, my mum had booked a tribute concert in a local hotel for her and one of my siblings. She'd already gone out, but my mum had reminded her before she left. I texted her before I left to tell her the hotel name and the time. She says **only then** that she'd just to happened to meet up with the friend from earlier, she saw her on the snap map, and it might be the 'last time' she'll see her again. So I told X she can go to the tribute a little late, and even with the friend because I had an extra ticket.
Yeah she completely ghosted me. Just point-blank didn't turn up. Didn't tell me that she wouldn't either. I was just waiting for her. It was ****. I went home and cried a bit.
She went home after me and was just so off from that day onwards. I had to lead every conversation, and she was just really really really disinterested, always on her phone and barely responding. Looking back I think she was annoyed we didnt let her leave early, because she just woulda stayed with the guy.
But yeah. Then she says she wanted to spend xmas with the guy on like, the 22nd. I was emotionally exhausted from trying to be social for 3 weeks with someone who didn't wanna talk to me. So I was like, 'yeah that sounds fun' and she left on the 24th.
She only texted me on the 29th to say she got home safe, then again on Jan 1 (my birthay...) to say she'd had a package sent out with some retinol or something when she first arrived because she forgot it and to just deny it at the door.
So I was like, 'okay'. Then it arrived the other day and it wasn't a package with retinol, it was a big thing with a state flag she'd promised to give my brother and more stuff that was clearly gifts for my siblings, alongside the retinol...
So he opened it and sent her a photo all excitedly, and she texted me to say that I 'can't return it' if it's opened. Then her mom texted mine to say that me and X made 'an agreement' to not open it. Like her mom seemed real p-d off about it.
BTW I did not 'agree' to anything like that...
Anyway it just seemed like icing on the cake that they wanted us to return gifts. Return them at 50 quid no less because of postage fees...
Anyway she hasn't texted me since the package.
Are we done? Like my tone about her here wasn't like, lovely. But I'm also annoyed with her, for the first time. Our relationship's always been super close. We're best friends. But she's not acting like it really, and it's hurting a lotttttttt and I really don't know what to do. Maybe it's because I'm going to uni a year before her, my life is moving on and we both know I won't have as much time for her as before??? But still!
I haven't really acknowleged my feelings about it yet. If I cry it's for 15 seconds then I have to stop because I don't know what to think or feel about it.
I don't even think I did anything wrong. I am so good at pretending to be social. And I tried so hard this time.
But I don't know. I've just been concentrating on my alevels a lot since then.
I don't know at all. Any advice at all would be really beneficial. Thank you.

I think you should tell her fully how you've been feeling about the friendship between you two.
I would not wait for her to bring it up because I fear you may be waiting a while!
If she does not reply (given she leaves you on read for a while after you confide in her) then it is indicative of her character already

I wouldn't have returned anything but the retinol - what a cheek!

Like text her about it? Honestly I don't know what to say though. And I don't know how well it will be received. Judging by recently, she will probably ask her mum what to do and her mum doesn't seem keen on me or my family anymore, so God knows how that will work out if I'm honest.
If I say it it what should I say though? I'm not used to having conversations like this. Usually when I get in a difficult spot with 'friends' I tend to let them die out (I'm always the one who puts effort in for some reason), but I actually value her and love her a lot and don't want it to die. At the same time I can't deal with the mental load of being the only one who's trying in a friendship like ours.
I know 😭 that's why her mother was so angry about my having opened it-- my dad thought it was gifts or something for my birthday or christmas-- also the package had my (full!!!!) name on it for some reason, even though it was for her (????)
Honestly, I don't know if I cba to return any of it. Which sounds mean. But it's so expensive, I am not rich.
I'm not home anyway until February, and it's going to be SO MUCH MONEY sending stuff to the US.... we'll see if she's even talking to me then, I guess
I don't even know why she couldn't have bought it. She has the prescription, her family acts like there's nothing in this country I swear

Yeah. Also you say another-- just for context I'm a girl aswell.

Yeah, I think text would work the best! I fear communication is very important! I can understand wanting to let situations die out but in some (not all! Sometimes it can work) cases it can come back to bite you!
I would suggest you reassure her that she means a lot to you, and that is why you are reaching out, but that you have seen how distant she has become,, I suggest you ask her to tell you why she has become so cold. Though please try not to sugarcoat too much,, You may feel guilty for being blunt to your best friend but it is necessary, especially since you two were so close
Please do be honest with her no matter how bad you may feel for it! Trust me, I can understand the guilt! It may be easier said than done, but there is no justification for her airing you out like this,, You deserve closure and peace, you deserve to know why she is treating you so coldly
Whatever the outcome is, I believe you would have done your best already
If you want to keep a friendship for long and genuine, it is very important that both of you can communicate when necessary! It should never and should never have been your responsibility alone
If she loves you as much as you love her, she will be open with you and open to communicating
A good friend does not switch up on their best friend like she switched up on you
If not, then I fear it might look like you are more of a commodity to her than an actual dear friend,,,

Ok sorry I thought you was a guy