I can't get over home sickness

12

Ive been at uni for a few months now, and ive visited home a couple of times. Ive just come back from Christmas and I am so upset about it even though I'm coming back home in just 3 weeks because I have a week off. Normally after a couple of days I stop crying whenever I think about it but it's always on the back of my mind. I have friends and I'm Normally quite busy. What I hate is knowing I can't just get up and go talk to my mum, or go stroke my cat. Even just the silence in my accommodation is hard because I'm used to so much noise. I call and message, but it's still so different from actually being home. I have 4 more years of this

Reply 1

Breeze1810

10

Original post

by me143

Ive been at uni for a few months now, and ive visited home a couple of times. Ive just come back from Christmas and I am so upset about it even though I'm coming back home in just 3 weeks because I have a week off. Normally after a couple of days I stop crying whenever I think about it but it's always on the back of my mind. I have friends and I'm Normally quite busy. What I hate is knowing I can't just get up and go talk to my mum, or go stroke my cat. Even just the silence in my accommodation is hard because I'm used to so much noise. I call and message, but it's still so different from actually being home. I have 4 more years of this

I’m really sorry you’re feeling so homesick by being away at uni, you won’t be the only one and it’s really understandable. Going away from home to start a new way of life, make new friends and do a degree is a massive change that needs time to adjust to.

Have you spoken to your mum about how you’re feeling? And how about your uni friends? At my uni, student services team and the students union have lots of ways to help you navigate homesickness why not enquire with the student support department? Don’t be afraid or embarrassed to reach out to them - they are there to help you enjoy uni and settle in, it’s often enter to share your feelings as they can help you overcome it. Don’t keep it bottled up.

And think of the positives, you have the week at home coming up, which will be here so quickly, the time away will fly. Surround yourself with loads of family and your car photos, have loads of bits and bobs from your house to decorate your uni home with so that it’s a lovely space.

It will get easier and you will feed better.

Reply 2

University of Bradford

Official Rep

18

Original post

by me143

Ive been at uni for a few months now, and ive visited home a couple of times. Ive just come back from Christmas and I am so upset about it even though I'm coming back home in just 3 weeks because I have a week off. Normally after a couple of days I stop crying whenever I think about it but it's always on the back of my mind. I have friends and I'm Normally quite busy. What I hate is knowing I can't just get up and go talk to my mum, or go stroke my cat. Even just the silence in my accommodation is hard because I'm used to so much noise. I call and message, but it's still so different from actually being home. I have 4 more years of this

Hi @me143. I am so sorry to heat that you are feeling this way! Please do not be upset. University is meant to be one of your greatest moments. My advice would be to stick it out. I would join societies to make new friends and try be social and go out with them. Try and make new friends at your accommodation if you can and maybe you could have a movie night with them! You will get used to living away from home, it just takes time. Also, you will still get to see your family here and there during the holidays so don't fee too down about it! everything works out in the end! I hope this advice helps 😀

Kiran

Reply 3

PianoProgress

7

@me143, As others have mentioned, get involved in any clubs and societies that take your fancy, as activities make it way easier to interact with others. Live each day at a time and celebrate your achievements. You earned this opportunity, and believe me, it will get better, making you stronger in the process. While my son has yet to go to University (he goes next year), I can relate to how you're feeling, as I did a sandwich year in another country as part of my course, many moons ago. Also, my son went to boarding school at 10, by choice, which was really difficult to deal with as a parent. Good luck, and please remember, Universities typically offer support services to those struggling, so check out Student Services. Don't let how you're feeling now affect your progress. Finally, believe in yourself, as you can and will succeed.

Reply 4

University of Salford Student Rep

Official Rep

13

Original post

by me143

Ive been at uni for a few months now, and ive visited home a couple of times. Ive just come back from Christmas and I am so upset about it even though I'm coming back home in just 3 weeks because I have a week off. Normally after a couple of days I stop crying whenever I think about it but it's always on the back of my mind. I have friends and I'm Normally quite busy. What I hate is knowing I can't just get up and go talk to my mum, or go stroke my cat. Even just the silence in my accommodation is hard because I'm used to so much noise. I call and message, but it's still so different from actually being home. I have 4 more years of this

Hey,

What you’re feeling is honestly really normal, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. Coming back after Christmas is especially hard because you’ve just had a proper taste of being home again. Then suddenly you’re back in a completely different environment, and it hits all over again. That doesn’t mean you’re not settling in or that uni isn’t for you, it just means you’re human and you miss home.

The fact that you have friends and keep busy is actually a good sign. Missing home doesn’t cancel out enjoying uni, both can exist at the same time. A few things that might help a bit:

•

Try to make your room feel more like yours, add photos, something that smells like home, maybe even something small that reminds you of your cat.

•

Build little routines that give your days some structure and comfort, especially in the evenings when the silence hits.

•

It’s okay to call and message your family a lot, but also try to gently distract yourself after, so you’re not just sitting in the homesick feeling.

Also, try not to think in terms of I have 4 more years of this. That makes it feel massive and overwhelming. Think in chunks: you’re literally going home in 3 weeks, then again after that, then summer, and so on. Over time, the gaps usually feel more manageable, even if you always miss home a bit. If it ever starts to feel too heavy or like it’s turning into constant anxiety or low mood, please do talk to someone at uni. Your personal tutor, student services, or wellbeing support. You don’t have to just power through feeling like this.

You’re not weak or failing for feeling this way. You’re just adjusting to a huge life change, and that takes time. And the fact you still miss home so much just means you have a really loving home, that’s actually a good thing, even if it hurts right now.

Good luck 😊
Arslan – University of Salford Student Representative

Reply 5

Kingston Zhi En

Official Rep

11

Original post

by me143

Ive been at uni for a few months now, and ive visited home a couple of times. Ive just come back from Christmas and I am so upset about it even though I'm coming back home in just 3 weeks because I have a week off. Normally after a couple of days I stop crying whenever I think about it but it's always on the back of my mind. I have friends and I'm Normally quite busy. What I hate is knowing I can't just get up and go talk to my mum, or go stroke my cat. Even just the silence in my accommodation is hard because I'm used to so much noise. I call and message, but it's still so different from actually being home. I have 4 more years of this

Hi there @me143 ,

I am terribly sorry to hear about how you have been feeling and your difficulties in adjusting, it is completely normal and it really does take time to adjust to a new environment without your usual support system around.
It's great that you have made friends too ☺️
As an international student, I was in a similar situation in my first year uni and was not use to living on my own for the first time! I called home constantly which was tough given the time difference. It may be incredibly uncomfortable and take a full year to adjust, but uni is a time to step out of your comfort zone, meet new people and try something new. The four years will go by faster than you know it!
When I miss home, I like to cook something that reminds me of my mum's cooking 🙂
If your homesickness is really affecting your studies and health I would suggest speaking to your Uni's wellbeing support services for someone to talk to 🤧 talking to someone may help to ease the burden.
Wishing you the best of luck in your uni journey!

Zhi En
(Kingston Student Rep.)

(edited 1 month ago)

Reply 6

LJMUStudentReps

Official Rep

18

Hi there,

I’m really sorry you’re feeling homesick — you’re definitely not alone in this. Even when you’re busy and have friends around, it’s completely natural to miss home, your family, and your pets.

It can really help to talk to someone about how you’re feeling. You could reach out to your mum, a trusted tutor, or your university wellbeing team for a supportive chat where you can talk things through.

You might also have a student ambassador or residential assistant linked to your accommodation. They’re often older students and can offer advice from a student perspective.

It can also help to focus on the parts of university life you enjoy. Writing them down and keeping a list can be comforting on tough days. This could be time spent with friends, going for a walk in the city, or visiting your favourite spot — whether that’s a café, park, or shop.

If the quiet in your accommodation feels difficult, small comforts from home can make a difference. Playing your favourite playlist, having a photo of your cat, or creating a cork board with things you love can bring a bit of home into your space.

Wishing you all the best as you settle into university 🙂

Megan (LJMU Rep)

Reply 7

EssexStudentRep

Official Rep

14

Original post

by me143

Ive been at uni for a few months now, and ive visited home a couple of times. Ive just come back from Christmas and I am so upset about it even though I'm coming back home in just 3 weeks because I have a week off. Normally after a couple of days I stop crying whenever I think about it but it's always on the back of my mind. I have friends and I'm Normally quite busy. What I hate is knowing I can't just get up and go talk to my mum, or go stroke my cat. Even just the silence in my accommodation is hard because I'm used to so much noise. I call and message, but it's still so different from actually being home. I have 4 more years of this

Hi @me143👋

Hope you are well. Have you talked to your mum about this or maybe some friends as that can help? It is ok to feel homesick and I do understand that feeling. Everyone settles in differently and at different times so do not worry too much but I do advise you to talk to some friends, your family or even a personal tutor/student advisor so that they can help you settle in more comfortably.

Essex Student Rep- Lavanya 💜

I can't get over home sickness

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Articles for you

How The Student Room is moderated