Undiagnosed ADHD
I failed (fumbled) my a levels last year and ultimately loss my university offers. I’m currently on a gap year and resitting those A levels. The issue is i’m repeating the same patterns I did last year which I shouldn’t be doing at all, especially as this year it’s really game over if i fumble again. I don’t understand why I behave like this, I’ve spent countless hours researching and researching. I can sit down and have all my resources out yet I can’t get myself to study. 6 hours can go by and I will still find a way to procrastinate. I even procrastinate the smallest things it’s abnormal. And believe it or not, it’s jan 6th and my UCAS is still unfinished. I feel terrorised with how I can’t study despite the horrors of results day, I want to so bad but I just can’t. It’s ridiculous when I say it out loud. I feel so so helpless. I’ve contacted my GP to see if I can get some sort of help through RTC on the NHS however this will take years if not months. I can’t afford private diagnosis or private medication. Those resits are in 5 months. The timeline for help and the timeline for exams don’t align, I wholeheartedly believe I am going to fail again. Has anyone else been in the same position? Should I just accept that maybe education isn’t built for a brain like mine? I don’t know what to do
Reply 1
hii! im in gap year too, my school messed my whole life up by not telling me certain rules which got me disqualified and got me a U in my main subject and proceeded to blame it all one me and burnt me out. i dropped out of A levels last minute because of my school and im resitting them with a different school now. from what ive read you sound like you are very stressed and burnt out as well. similar patterns repeat as our brain uses them as a coping mechanism almost as if to not enter the "flight or fight" state during certain circumstances which is in ur situation, studying. build a small routine at first, start by reading a single paragraph or just 5 sentences and take a break and repeat until you feel like you are ready to study a whole page. if its still too difficult to start, find a hobby make it a routine then start reading 5 lines in ur book and make the reward as hobby time. consistency is key, dont procrastinate is my main advice because i procrastinated sm and my whole life is in shambles. this is all the advice i could give u from my experience.
Reply 2
Hi, that sounds really tough I'm sorry 
Obviously you know yourself better than anyone online but from an outsider perspective it sounds more like you are very stressed than necessarily have ADHD? Feeling helpless, terrorised, like it's really game over if you fail again and the procrastination sounds to me like your bad experiences in the past (results day last year, the stress before that of trying to revise) are making you shut down now. Sometimes with the time pressure of knowing it's getting closer to exams it feels easier for your brain to just shut down and think 'no I'll do it later' rather than start and have to process everything you still have to do, plan how you will fit it into the time, ect.
But honestly, just start now. You won't have any more time than you do now. If your exams are this summer you have 5 months which is more than enough time! You can't change the past but you have full control over your present. Accept that last results day wasn't ideal but this is a new set of exams and if you start properly preparing now you will be in a very good position to sit your exams and do well.
You say 'maybe education isn't for a brain like mine' - I think you need to get rid of this mentality because it isn't helping. Everyone's brain is different, many people with ADHD are successful in education, find strategies to help them cope, achieve high grades, ect. I think the problem isn't your brain, it's that you are really overthinking which is understandable but it is holding you back. When you get into this sort of spiral of overthinking imagine someone rocking back and forth on a rocking chair- it gives them something to do but it doesn't get them anywhere. It's the same with overthinking, you spend a lot of mental energy going back and forth but you aren't getting anywhere.
You have plenty of time to change things and achieve your goals! Ultimately, it is YOUR life nothing anyone can say on here can make you revise. You have to realise you have the power to sit down, open a book, get some paper and a pen and make a mindmap of everything and then answer some past paper questions. Just do that a few times a day and it will help, even once a day is better than nothing. You just need to start and keep going.
Maybe having a plan would help? What grades are you aiming for and what would be your plan if you achieve these grades? Backup plan? Just take the pressure off of having to do well and maybe you will find it easier to focus and study if you just enjoy learning for the sake of learning.
If you can afford a tutor it might be worth getting one to help you plan a revision strategy and go through any questions, give you encouragement when you start to doubt yourself, things like that.
Good luck and remember, whatever happened last year has no effect on what will happen this year!!
I believe in you!
Obviously you know yourself better than anyone online but from an outsider perspective it sounds more like you are very stressed than necessarily have ADHD? Feeling helpless, terrorised, like it's really game over if you fail again and the procrastination sounds to me like your bad experiences in the past (results day last year, the stress before that of trying to revise) are making you shut down now. Sometimes with the time pressure of knowing it's getting closer to exams it feels easier for your brain to just shut down and think 'no I'll do it later' rather than start and have to process everything you still have to do, plan how you will fit it into the time, ect.
But honestly, just start now. You won't have any more time than you do now. If your exams are this summer you have 5 months which is more than enough time! You can't change the past but you have full control over your present. Accept that last results day wasn't ideal but this is a new set of exams and if you start properly preparing now you will be in a very good position to sit your exams and do well.
You say 'maybe education isn't for a brain like mine' - I think you need to get rid of this mentality because it isn't helping. Everyone's brain is different, many people with ADHD are successful in education, find strategies to help them cope, achieve high grades, ect. I think the problem isn't your brain, it's that you are really overthinking which is understandable but it is holding you back. When you get into this sort of spiral of overthinking imagine someone rocking back and forth on a rocking chair- it gives them something to do but it doesn't get them anywhere. It's the same with overthinking, you spend a lot of mental energy going back and forth but you aren't getting anywhere.
You have plenty of time to change things and achieve your goals! Ultimately, it is YOUR life nothing anyone can say on here can make you revise. You have to realise you have the power to sit down, open a book, get some paper and a pen and make a mindmap of everything and then answer some past paper questions. Just do that a few times a day and it will help, even once a day is better than nothing. You just need to start and keep going.
Maybe having a plan would help? What grades are you aiming for and what would be your plan if you achieve these grades? Backup plan? Just take the pressure off of having to do well and maybe you will find it easier to focus and study if you just enjoy learning for the sake of learning.
If you can afford a tutor it might be worth getting one to help you plan a revision strategy and go through any questions, give you encouragement when you start to doubt yourself, things like that.
Good luck and remember, whatever happened last year has no effect on what will happen this year!!
I believe in you!
Reply 3
Hey this is a really difficult situation. I dont think there is a solution that makes it easy for you here but you have options
I was in the same boat last year. only seemed to do everything to set myself up for success but couldnt do the actual work. had to over rely on stress to get anything done and it started affecting my health. I ended up having to drop out of doing private exams despite doing well in mocks.
Good news is that there is still time to do your UCAS if you want to do exams and also you should be able to get a much faster ADHD diagnosis. I went through the RTC process last year and was diagnosed in about 6 weeks it then took another 6 weeks to get medication. Id reccomend going on https://adhduk.co.uk/right-to-choose/right-to-choose-wait-times/ and have a look at the different providers. All i did was tell the GP which one i wanted to use and completed a quick ADHD self report form the GP gave me. They submitted it shortly after. After that you only deal with the provider. GPs can be difficult about this sometimes because its not something they always deal with. Some are better than others if possible try to see someone else or just be a bit pushy. If you can try and confirm with them that it gets sent off
If you go ahead with exams there are ways to go about learning with ADHD its just different. Its best to focus on your understanding of topics first. Executive function problems are a real pain but you can work around it.
Id look into stuff like encoding (sending information into long term memory), chunking (grouping pieces of information), and big picture thinking (whats info is important and where does it fit with everything else). find answers to any questions you have no matter how small to make sure theres no gaps.
Think about what it is with ADHD that you struggle with and what are the ways you could get around that. Learn how the ADHD brain works and use that to create solutions. be patient this wont come straight away and sometimes there will be hard roadblocks that will seem natural to other people. Getting over ADHD procrastination is hard witout medication i tend to find im able to work better at night after winding down and without any nearby distractions. Make the work the only thing in front of you but accept there will be times work just wont happen.
There is the possibilty that exams dont happen this year and thats totally ok. Even if you do get diagnosed and put on meds say by march/april using my timeframe there will still be an adjustment period and meds work best long term. Very unlikely to get access arrangements as well. Meds are very effective but they arent magic they only give you the ability to put in the work and it may be just too much to deal with with how much time you would have left. Setbacks from ADHD can be hard to swallow but its important to look after yourself. I know what its like to feel hopeless as a result of ADHD symptoms you mustve put a lot of energy into this but dont get stuck in the idea of if it is or isnt impossible. Its easy to focus on doing exams as the thing that will save you and fail to be realisitc as a result. I hope it goes well for you
)
I was in the same boat last year. only seemed to do everything to set myself up for success but couldnt do the actual work. had to over rely on stress to get anything done and it started affecting my health. I ended up having to drop out of doing private exams despite doing well in mocks.
Good news is that there is still time to do your UCAS if you want to do exams and also you should be able to get a much faster ADHD diagnosis. I went through the RTC process last year and was diagnosed in about 6 weeks it then took another 6 weeks to get medication. Id reccomend going on https://adhduk.co.uk/right-to-choose/right-to-choose-wait-times/ and have a look at the different providers. All i did was tell the GP which one i wanted to use and completed a quick ADHD self report form the GP gave me. They submitted it shortly after. After that you only deal with the provider. GPs can be difficult about this sometimes because its not something they always deal with. Some are better than others if possible try to see someone else or just be a bit pushy. If you can try and confirm with them that it gets sent off
If you go ahead with exams there are ways to go about learning with ADHD its just different. Its best to focus on your understanding of topics first. Executive function problems are a real pain but you can work around it.
Id look into stuff like encoding (sending information into long term memory), chunking (grouping pieces of information), and big picture thinking (whats info is important and where does it fit with everything else). find answers to any questions you have no matter how small to make sure theres no gaps.
Think about what it is with ADHD that you struggle with and what are the ways you could get around that. Learn how the ADHD brain works and use that to create solutions. be patient this wont come straight away and sometimes there will be hard roadblocks that will seem natural to other people. Getting over ADHD procrastination is hard witout medication i tend to find im able to work better at night after winding down and without any nearby distractions. Make the work the only thing in front of you but accept there will be times work just wont happen.
There is the possibilty that exams dont happen this year and thats totally ok. Even if you do get diagnosed and put on meds say by march/april using my timeframe there will still be an adjustment period and meds work best long term. Very unlikely to get access arrangements as well. Meds are very effective but they arent magic they only give you the ability to put in the work and it may be just too much to deal with with how much time you would have left. Setbacks from ADHD can be hard to swallow but its important to look after yourself. I know what its like to feel hopeless as a result of ADHD symptoms you mustve put a lot of energy into this but dont get stuck in the idea of if it is or isnt impossible. Its easy to focus on doing exams as the thing that will save you and fail to be realisitc as a result. I hope it goes well for you
)Reply 4
i relate to this so much, my a-levels i barely passed in summer and my unofficial gap year has me bored out of my mind between my job and lack of hobbies
my a-level exam revision was done entirely in the days before the real (not even the mock) exams, which was usually incomplete "sessions" going over my notes from class and my teachers' powerpoints. I dont recommend because it was intensely stressful, even afterwards until results day, but i think the reason i didn't completely bomb the exams like my mocks is because of the adrenaline in the exam, my sheet of important stuff to think about/remember that i scoured thoroughly before the exam, quizlet sets, atrocious amounts of coffee
im yapping on a bit now and i seriously do not recommend these methods because it was hell seeing everyone else's perfect revision strategies in the college library while i went to go and waste time doing anything non-productive, feeling guilty nonstop but never just going to fix it. As for the ADHD part, ive been scared of that word for years and i'm terrified and probably procrastinating taking any meaningful step towards diagnosis,, but also at the same time i do personally align with a lot of the symptoms and struggles shared
anyway,, you're not alone in this feeling of not being made for formal education, i hope your resits all go well and i genuinely wish you good luck :-)
my a-level exam revision was done entirely in the days before the real (not even the mock) exams, which was usually incomplete "sessions" going over my notes from class and my teachers' powerpoints. I dont recommend because it was intensely stressful, even afterwards until results day, but i think the reason i didn't completely bomb the exams like my mocks is because of the adrenaline in the exam, my sheet of important stuff to think about/remember that i scoured thoroughly before the exam, quizlet sets, atrocious amounts of coffee
im yapping on a bit now and i seriously do not recommend these methods because it was hell seeing everyone else's perfect revision strategies in the college library while i went to go and waste time doing anything non-productive, feeling guilty nonstop but never just going to fix it. As for the ADHD part, ive been scared of that word for years and i'm terrified and probably procrastinating taking any meaningful step towards diagnosis,, but also at the same time i do personally align with a lot of the symptoms and struggles shared
anyway,, you're not alone in this feeling of not being made for formal education, i hope your resits all go well and i genuinely wish you good luck :-)
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