What do I say to comfort people?
My friend has been telling me how he felt so much pressure and was isolated from his friend group. Honestly, I don't understand what he feels, and I don't get why my friend even wants to do bad things because he was stressed by exams and feels isolated by his friends. We will both be doing our A-level exams this year, and I don't want him to make me feeling stressted aswell, which could affect my exam result. I know that this sounds very mean, like I care about my exam result more than my friend, so I wanna know if it's possible that I can tell him about how I feel about this while not hurting his feeling thinking I don't care about him at all? I do care about my friend and treasure our friendship, however, I cannot feel empthay to what he feels.
I also don't mind listening to him, please tell me what I reply when he tells me about his feelings and struggles.
I also don't mind listening to him, please tell me what I reply when he tells me about his feelings and struggles.
Reply 1
Original post
by AnonymousMy friend has been telling me how he felt so much pressure and was isolated from his friend group. Honestly, I don't understand what he feels, and I don't get why my friend even wants to commit suicide because he was stressed by exams and feels isolated by his friends. We will both be doing our A-level exams this year, and I don't want him to make me feeling stressted aswell, which could affect my exam result. I know that this sounds very mean, like I care about my exam result more than my friend, so I wanna know if it's possible that I can tell him about how I feel about this while not hurting his feeling thinking I don't care about him at all? I do care about my friend and treasure our friendship, however, I cannot feel empthay to what he feels.
I also don't mind listening to him, please tell me what I reply when he tells me about his feelings and struggles.
I also don't mind listening to him, please tell me what I reply when he tells me about his feelings and struggles.
Not being able to feel empathy doesn’t mean you don’t care it just means you don’t share the same emotional experience.When he talks about his struggles, just acknowledge them without judging or trying to fix everything simple replies like ‘that sounds really hard’ or ‘I’m glad you told me’ are enough. It’s okay to listen even if you don’t feel empathy, and it’s also okay to set boundaries if you’re feeling overwhelmed, especially with exams. Just be honest and kind about your limits. If he ever talks about suicide, encourage him to get help because supporting a friend doesn’t mean you have to handle something that serious on your own.
Reply 2
19
unless you have experience of that situation, it is hard to know what to say... sometimes someone just feels better when you listen to them, without judgement
Reply 3
just listening to someone and making them feel like u understand and giving them a hug might help
i do hope he feels better soon its awful to know that someones struggling like this
i do hope he feels better soon its awful to know that someones struggling like this
Reply 4
Original post
by AnonymousMy friend has been telling me how he felt so much pressure and was isolated from his friend group. Honestly, I don't understand what he feels, and I don't get why my friend even wants to do bad things because he was stressed by exams and feels isolated by his friends. We will both be doing our A-level exams this year, and I don't want him to make me feeling stressted aswell, which could affect my exam result. I know that this sounds very mean, like I care about my exam result more than my friend, so I wanna know if it's possible that I can tell him about how I feel about this while not hurting his feeling thinking I don't care about him at all? I do care about my friend and treasure our friendship, however, I cannot feel empthay to what he feels.
I also don't mind listening to him, please tell me what I reply when he tells me about his feelings and struggles.
I also don't mind listening to him, please tell me what I reply when he tells me about his feelings and struggles.
Honestly you're valid for your feelings, you're not mean just human.( sounds a tad bit cringy ik)
honestly next time he comes js say. ' hey bro i know you're struggling ( add here whatever they are struggling with.) You know i care about you but i just cant give you the advice you'd need. I can listen and be there but i'm not able to input valuable stuff. I don't want this friendship to go sideways because of something i've advised or said' add a lil smth of your own ofc. Maybe don't say u cant feel empathy toward he's feelings ( nothing bad about that but js don't say it, when someones down it can sound harsh). make sure u emphasis you'll be there to listen. And maybe set a line on when he can confide in u. Like distract them w work or smth idk. To comfort people you just need to listen. When you listen the points will come to you. Show him you're there.
Reply 5
Original post
by AnonymousMy friend has been telling me how he felt so much pressure and was isolated from his friend group. Honestly, I don't understand what he feels, and I don't get why my friend even wants to do bad things because he was stressed by exams and feels isolated by his friends. We will both be doing our A-level exams this year, and I don't want him to make me feeling stressted aswell, which could affect my exam result. I know that this sounds very mean, like I care about my exam result more than my friend, so I wanna know if it's possible that I can tell him about how I feel about this while not hurting his feeling thinking I don't care about him at all? I do care about my friend and treasure our friendship, however, I cannot feel empthay to what he feels.
I also don't mind listening to him, please tell me what I reply when he tells me about his feelings and struggles.
I also don't mind listening to him, please tell me what I reply when he tells me about his feelings and struggles.
just listen to him honestly, and make him feel heard. he said he feels isolated; you being there is what will help him and help those feelings, make him feel seen and connected
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- Why does it feel that Way?
- Accommodation - are the higher price place worth it ?
- Single sex flats in Queen Mary
- Newcastle partners program
- Is it weird to live in the halls in second year
- How to make friends at uni as an introvert?
- yearbook winner meaning
- Social Anxiety
- Vent-School doesn’t make me feel good about myself anymore
- Away from home uni advice
- Worrying about offer holders day
- Does style of clothes matter today for a new generation especially women?
- Friends
- Personal issues at uni
- Bf more “open” than I am
- Please can someone give me advice
- I can never see myself in a relationship
- Physics a level help
- Advice please
- uni isn’t working for me.
Latest
Trending
Last reply 4 months ago
Best friend is not coming to my birthday party and is instead hanging out with his gfLast reply 8 months ago
parents wont let me take the course i want to takeLast reply 8 months ago
can someone give me advice or like can u relateLast reply 8 months ago
How do I tell my parents I might not graduate for another year?Last reply 9 months ago
Why would a close friend decide to end our friendship?Last reply 9 months ago
How do I tell my parents I'm moving away for uni?Last reply 9 months ago
How does uni accom work? My mums on benefits+she says she cant afford a 2 bed whenigo
How The Student Room is moderated
To keep The Student Room safe for everyone, we moderate posts that are added to the site.
