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Breakup advice

Hey i was wondering if anyone had any breakup advice?
I just broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years. He mistreated me a LOT and was verbally and emotionally abusive. He constantly played mind games and made me doubt myself and manipulated me according to friends and family who observed it.
We’ve broken up and gotten back together multiple times
I need some advice, tips or motivation to just stay away from him and to stay broken up and how to move on.
I still have to see him at least 3 times a day unfortunately
Thanks! :smile:

Reply 1

It's fine to have a great big cry about it for a few days.

Now is the time to deploy the logical half of your brain and use it to over-rule the emotional half.
With the logical half:
Reminding you what a great person you are.
Thinking that nobody's perfect and you don't have to be, to be a great catch.
Food and drink are important at this time. Don't let yourself get physically run down. No alcohol or the barest minimum. The cliche of drowning your sorrows is a dumb one. Be clever and treat yourself to all those lovely delicious mood enhancing foods, such as cherries and tomatoes (home made tomato soup, yum yum and great on a winter's day).
You have your freedom! Freedom is priceless. Enjoy it and make the most of it.

For your next relationship:
Be selective. You have some experience on what to look out for. Avoid abusive types like the plague.

Relationships like the one you've just had are really bad for chipping away at your self esteem. And at how confidently you present yourself at social settings. Put some focus into building yourself up again.

Talk to friends and family. Be brutally honest to them as to how bad he was. The people that love you should be great support for you now. If any of them victim blame you, tell them to **** off!

Be professional when you see him. Cold and businesslike.
On no account let him sweet talk you or beg you into getting back together with him.
If he tries to assert the frame that you're trash, completely reject that frame and assert the frame that you're fine and that he's an idiot with a lot to learn.

Reply 2

Original post
by Dunnig Kruger
It's fine to have a great big cry about it for a few days.
Now is the time to deploy the logical half of your brain and use it to over-rule the emotional half.
With the logical half:
Reminding you what a great person you are.
Thinking that nobody's perfect and you don't have to be, to be a great catch.
Food and drink are important at this time. Don't let yourself get physically run down. No alcohol or the barest minimum. The cliche of drowning your sorrows is a dumb one. Be clever and treat yourself to all those lovely delicious mood enhancing foods, such as cherries and tomatoes (home made tomato soup, yum yum and great on a winter's day).
You have your freedom! Freedom is priceless. Enjoy it and make the most of it.
For your next relationship:
Be selective. You have some experience on what to look out for. Avoid abusive types like the plague.
Relationships like the one you've just had are really bad for chipping away at your self esteem. And at how confidently you present yourself at social settings. Put some focus into building yourself up again.
Talk to friends and family. Be brutally honest to them as to how bad he was. The people that love you should be great support for you now. If any of them victim blame you, tell them to **** off!
Be professional when you see him. Cold and businesslike.
On no account let him sweet talk you or beg you into getting back together with him.
If he tries to assert the frame that you're trash, completely reject that frame and assert the frame that you're fine and that he's an idiot with a lot to learn.


Thank you so much. You’re honestly a great person to be giving great advice to people on the internet and I really appreciate it.
He’s had his chances to treat me right or change and he’s never followed through with it for more than a week and then he’s gone back to emotionally manipulating me again.
I’m glad I’m out of that now but I’m honestly worried that I won’t find anyone else ever :/

Reply 3

Original post
by Anonymous
Hey i was wondering if anyone had any breakup advice?
I just broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years. He mistreated me a LOT and was verbally and emotionally abusive. He constantly played mind games and made me doubt myself and manipulated me according to friends and family who observed it.
We’ve broken up and gotten back together multiple times
I need some advice, tips or motivation to just stay away from him and to stay broken up and how to move on.
I still have to see him at least 3 times a day unfortunately
Thanks! :smile:

Block all forms of contact

Reply 4

From someone previously in a similar situation, I found it super important to remember that *I* had finally gotten myself out. The manipulation and love for the person makes them seem like they are the entire world, and once you get your head above the water you begin to see everything beyond. Its so easy to slip back under, but the want to be out is such an important thing and something to remember.
Be brutal, talk about all his terrible s*** and be proud that you took the step and decided you had had enough
The next few weeks will be hard, but keep your head up :smile:

Reply 5

Original post
by Goth Girl Mel
Block all forms of contact


Thank you :smile:

Reply 6

Original post
by Anonymous
From someone previously in a similar situation, I found it super important to remember that *I* had finally gotten myself out. The manipulation and love for the person makes them seem like they are the entire world, and once you get your head above the water you begin to see everything beyond. Its so easy to slip back under, but the want to be out is such an important thing and something to remember.
Be brutal, talk about all his terrible s*** and be proud that you took the step and decided you had had enough
The next few weeks will be hard, but keep your head up :smile:


Thank you so much! I’m glad you got yourself out of that situation too and you’re doing better now :smile:

Reply 7

Original post
by Anonymous
Hey i was wondering if anyone had any breakup advice?
I just broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years. He mistreated me a LOT and was verbally and emotionally abusive. He constantly played mind games and made me doubt myself and manipulated me according to friends and family who observed it.
We’ve broken up and gotten back together multiple times
I need some advice, tips or motivation to just stay away from him and to stay broken up and how to move on.
I still have to see him at least 3 times a day unfortunately
Thanks! :smile:


That must suck...I recently ended a 1 yr relationship...and Im still healing...and the worst thing you will do initially is to romanticise everything about him...but you have to try to ground yourself and remind yourslef of the bad things...healing is not an easy journey...but that advice was right...block him...cause after a relationship you cant be friends atleast for a long time...you cant

Reply 8

Original post
by Anonymous
Hey i was wondering if anyone had any breakup advice?
I just broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years. He mistreated me a LOT and was verbally and emotionally abusive. He constantly played mind games and made me doubt myself and manipulated me according to friends and family who observed it.
We’ve broken up and gotten back together multiple times
I need some advice, tips or motivation to just stay away from him and to stay broken up and how to move on.
I still have to see him at least 3 times a day unfortunately
Thanks! :smile:

Girl you dont need no man they are trash, i promise your too good for him. Xxx

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