did i ruin things? i like him so much :(

That's a lot of information without a full stop, paragraph or breaks. Something to consider next time.
For the other people, here's a summary of this:
OP met a guy on a dating app, and because of the age gap they switched to being friends/casual.
They got on really well, but the poster kept cancelling meet‑ups due to genuine health issues, nerves, and work commitments.
Eventually the guy said he found it confusing, and communication fizzled.
She later messaged him again for advice about another guy, and after that he said they should stop chatting.
She then sent him a message explaining her feelings and asking to remain friends, but he hasn’t replied.
She feels guilty and wonders if she’s a bad person, and she’s anxious because they go to the same gym.
To answer your question on whether or not you're a bad person and the way you handled this:
You’re absolutely not a bad person. Nothing you did came from a place of malice, meaning you were dealing with pain, nerves, work stress, and a confusing situation with mixed expectations. Anyone in your position would have struggled to juggle all of that.
It sounds like he enjoyed talking to you, but the repeated cancellations and the emotional conversations about someone else may have just become too much for him to navigate.
That doesn’t mean you did anything wrong; hypothetically, it just means your communication styles and needs didn’t match at that moment.
You reached out, you explained yourself, and you apologised. That’s all you can do. If he chooses not to reply, that’s his decision, and it doesn’t make you a bad person; it simply means he’s choosing space.
If you bump into him at the gym, you don’t need to feel scared. A simple polite smile or nod is more than enough. You don’t owe him anything stressful or emotional.
Try to be kind to yourself. You were dealing with health issues, stress, and genuine nerves; that’s human, not harmful.
Sometimes connections don’t work out even when both people like each other, and that’s okay.

He sounds a bit of a knob

hi, so i met this guy on a dating and we decided to become friends / casual after a couple weeks as we were unsure about our age gap (a decade difference). we got on so so well and he kept inviting me over for snacks and you know a bit of fun if we felt up for it but no pressure - i kept cancelling due to belly pain which is what i was telling him (was genuine and have possible endo so just haven’t been feeling the best) and partly due to being nervous as well. we both kept talking and talking, he’s such a lovely man and i wish i just went to see him despite how i was feeling and just been brave. then i cancelled again as i was asked to stay longer at work and i felt bad but i was desperate due to being jobless for two weeks with bills and rent to pay to my parents. then he sent me a message saying how im confusing and we both decided to cut the messages basically. then a while after something else happened so i told him and ranted to him stupidly as needed advice and he gave me advice but because it was about something i did with a guy (because i was looking for something serious and so was the guy (guy number 2 let’s call him) and he upset me so without thinking and messaged as soon as it basically happened and i reached to guy 1 as we were good friends and didn’t think much of it as was stressed. then guy 1 gave me advice and said let’s leave the chats there i then ended things with guy 2 as he did more that i didn’t tell guy 1 and was a toxic guy. then days after i sent him a nice message about how i made a mistake and how i would like to be friends and how he’s a nice guy and dont want to lose contact but i basically explained its up to him where things go and i understand if he doesn’t want anything but he left me on read since sunday. its just we’ve been speaking for a couple months and its a shame it’s ended and mainly due to confusion recently and me cancelling so i guess my fault and we both go to the same gym and ive only just slowly got back to going so im scared ill bump into him just can’t stop thinking of what would’ve happened if i just was brave and went to see him as we had the bestest chats and i guess we both slightly wanted diff things but thinking now he deeply did have feelings for me and i feel bad but i didn’t know (( am i a bad person??
will he ever reach out to me when he’s ready? oh well it’s okay. my 2026 is going so well already !!

I’m not Reading all of that -are you leng?

yeah now i think of it he probs just wanted fun lol and liked me at the same time but not enough to be patient with me.

To me, it doesn’t really sound like he was only after one thing.
You mentioned the age gap yourselves and both agreed to keep things casual and friendly. From his perspective, constantly having meetups cancelled would understandably be frustrating. He may have felt there wasn’t much point continuing the conversations if there was no real direction; building a family, developing compatibility, exploring romance, possibly marriage. Those things all require going on dates and getting to know each other properly.
I understand why you reached out for advice about someone new you were considering. You saw him as a friend at that point, but from his side, it might have been confusing; he had been your initial choice, things didn’t progress, and now you were asking his thoughts about someone else.
I’m sure he’ll say hello again if you see him, but you’re not obliged to engage in a full conversation. You can simply acknowledge him and carry on with your day. We all cross paths with people we used to speak to; there’s no need to overthink what a future interaction might be like until it actually happens.
The way I see it, the main takeaways are:
1. Do you see him as a genuine long-term friend? Someone you’d travel with, do activities with, talk to about life or relationships? If not, he’s more of an acquaintance; someone you’re happy to know but not someone you’d share deeper personal details with. The kind of person you exchange “happy birthday” or “Merry Christmas” messages with, but not much more.
2. When considering a relationship with anyone new, think honestly about whether they’re right for you. If the answer is yes, agree to a date and stick to it. Try to block out distractions and commit to the plan. Everyone gets nervous before a date, but the only way past those fears is to face them. That part is entirely in your control.
3. You’re free to move on if you want to. I personally try to keep friendships where I can, even with someone I used to date. For me, the idea of being alone feels worse than keeping people in my life, even in a limited way. Losing friends can take a mental and emotional toll.
I hope this helps, and I’m glad my original message was useful to you.

hi thanks for the advice and things. he still hasn’t replied and i dont blame him. i dont think he ever will message not sure unless he sees me in person at the gym he probs will not quite sure. i do feel bad and i really was upset was also crying lol as i dont usually do that but ive been ill recently like i said previously with pains and so i cancelled which maybe he thought i was lying and i do get that as i kept cancelling so he probs thought i wasn’t interested when i was. i just didnt want to get hurt too so i just ruined it and i really wish things were better as i never felt like that before but i just ignored my feelings due to our agreement on being friends and being casual.
what’s the chances he will ever reach out? i do miss him and our convos. i wish we went on a nice date and met up but i guess life things happened and got in the way. so annoying!

You're welcome.
If he hasn't responded and you're waiting for him to reach out, he probably won't.
Maybe you can reach out to him to schedule a catch-up and clear the air? Just stress that it would be a casual meet, stick to the agreed date, and maybe do an activity to break the awkward silence.
You can obviously talk about the past if you want to, and get his thoughts on it, but be cautious in this approach, as you'd like a fresh start, so maybe bringing up the past is a bad idea.
If you've tried to reach out for a catch-up, or restart conversations, and he hasn't replied, then he probably has moved on from you, and it's a lost cause.
But it's a lesson learned. All things like this can be learned from, and taken forward for the next opportunity in our lives.

thanks again. i’m just going to carry on with life and if i bump into him at the gym then maybe things may change and we may start talking but if not then i’ll just move on. i like him a lot and do think about him but i guess ill learn next time to be more brave with everything. it’s his bday tomoz it’s a shame i can’t even say happy birthday because it’s weird. oh well. do you think there’s a chance i’ll bump into him at the gym? i’m scared if i do but also hoping maybe he might speak to me not sure. 🤔

Q 'do you think there’s a chance i’ll bump into him at the gym?'
A: very unlikely, unless you actively search him out through the crowd, which is a bit creepy if I'm honest.
Overall, you happy you reached out on TSR and has the feedback been useful?
Always trying my best to help people as much as possible 🙂

yeah i know it is and my gym is tiny u can see everyone which is why im scared haha i go in there feeling so sick but its fine.
thanks your advice was helpful !