How to be an adult??

Knowing that I am going to uni this year has to be top 10 scariest things I’ve ever experienced. I feel like a child. Even though I’ve grown a lot in the past year, I’m still the most socially dead person ever. I can’t confidently say that I have friends right now and I’m sickeningly self aware and disgustingly shy.
It’s giving me a headache trying to figure out how I’m going to cope at school. Secondary school wasn’t so bad because there really aren’t a lot of group activities and stuff but I’ve heard that classes at uni will involve a lot of group presentations and discussions. And as of it shouldn’t get any worse, I loathe public speaking.
I’m just wondering if there are people that relate to me and if you’re still alive after all the stuff I’ve mentioned.
And not just people that are introverted- I’m talking about literally feeling like throwing up when you’re trying to talk to people and make friends. If no one relates to this, send me therapist recommendations please.
Also, any tips on becoming more confident in…say, 6 months?

Reply 1

artful_lounger

Clearing and Applications Advisor, Universities Forum Helper

22

How many presentations or discussion type things you have to do will probably vary depending on course. That said in my experience for Humanities courses seminar discussions are very informal affairs - it's really more just a conversation with your course mates about the topic you're studying that week in terms of the readings etc (facilitated by the lecturer or PGTA etc). It's not like school where you're being asked for an answer then told in front of everyone that it's right or wrong or something - often there is not a singular approach or analysis and the point of seminars/tutorials is to explore those.

Ultimately you're presumably doing the degree because you are actually interested in learning more about that content - those seminar sections are there to give you the opportunity to actually talk about those things you're interested in, with other people who are also interested in them, on an academic level, with input from an academic. Isn't that the whole reason you want to go to university?

Reply 2

hallamstudents

Official Rep

18

Original post

by Anonymous

Knowing that I am going to uni this year has to be top 10 scariest things I’ve ever experienced. I feel like a child. Even though I’ve grown a lot in the past year, I’m still the most socially dead person ever. I can’t confidently say that I have friends right now and I’m sickeningly self aware and disgustingly shy.
It’s giving me a headache trying to figure out how I’m going to cope at school. Secondary school wasn’t so bad because there really aren’t a lot of group activities and stuff but I’ve heard that classes at uni will involve a lot of group presentations and discussions. And as of it shouldn’t get any worse, I loathe public speaking.
I’m just wondering if there are people that relate to me and if you’re still alive after all the stuff I’ve mentioned.
And not just people that are introverted- I’m talking about literally feeling like throwing up when you’re trying to talk to people and make friends. If no one relates to this, send me therapist recommendations please.
Also, any tips on becoming more confident in…say, 6 months?

Hi there,

I am sorry that you have been feeling this way and I understand that this must be hard for you.

With the presentations, you might not have to do many with your course as not all courses require you to have to do multiple presentations. You can also speak to your uni about this and how it makes you feel and they might be able to make some accommodations for you and work around presentations so you don't have to do them/do all of them. It is worth talking to them at least so that they know how you feel. Not everybody shows their best side during presentations and they will know this so try not to worry too much about it.

In general with feeling unprepared, try and start doing some things to make you feel more prepared if you can. If you are worried about meeting new people, see if there are any situations where you can try and meet someone new just so you are a bit more comfortable with it. When you get to uni, you will meet so many people and the fact that everyone is new to the uni does make it quite a lot easier as everybody is nervous. One thing you could try when you are at uni is to try and have one small goal per week - so this could be talking to three new people, or asking one new person to go for a coffee. This way, it seems smaller but it gradually gets you used to it and you can feel like you are accomplishing things each week.

Also in general, if you are ever anxious or need someone to talk to at uni, there will be student support teams and people who can help you so make sure you reach out to them if you ever need it as they will be there and would rather you talk to them than suffer in silence.

I hope some of this helps,

Lucy -SHU student ambassador.

How to be an adult??

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