autistic at uni
im due to start uni in september and I am autistic and always struggled with friendships, social stuff, etc despite loving meeting new people and going out. im also moving into halls 3 hours away from home which is a big change. im honestly worried sick
if there's anyone whos been or is in a similar position and has any advice please let me know x
if there's anyone whos been or is in a similar position and has any advice please let me know x
Reply 1
Original post
by Anonymousim due to start uni in september and I am autistic and always struggled with friendships, social stuff, etc despite loving meeting new people and going out. im also moving into halls 3 hours away from home which is a big change. im honestly worried sick
if there's anyone whos been or is in a similar position and has any advice please let me know x
if there's anyone whos been or is in a similar position and has any advice please let me know x
Hey there!
I'm currently in my second year of uni and am autistic. I moved into a flat with my boyfriend and one of our mates from high school, so I don't really know the experience of living in halls, but I do live 2 hours away from my family. My advice regarding that is to FaceTime/call them as much as you can and prioritise going to see them so you don't feel cut off from everything because the loneliness is really difficult.
I've also really struggled with making and maintaining friendships, but what I found to be the biggest help was joining sports teams. I am a part of my university's archery and esports teams, so all my friendships come from there rather than my course. I know its probabaly the answer you will hear the most but sports and societies really are the easiest way to find people that you are most likely to get along with ^-^
Hello there!
I'm a first-year at Coventry University. I want to start by saying it’s completely okay to feel worried sick. Moving three hours away is a huge change, but you're definitely not alone in that feeling!
While I’m not autistic myself, some of my closest friends and one of my flatmates are. From what I’ve seen, the best way they found their "people" was through special interest societies. I met two of my friends on my course and we got to know each other much better by going to the crafting society together. These groups are great because the focus is on the activity (like music, crafting, or D&D), which takes the pressure off the social side of things. Most societies have free taster sessions, so you can test the waters without any pressure.
Many of my friends are also three hours from home. They usually have scheduled weekly catch-ups with family, though I personally chat with my parents almost daily to ask random questions or just talk about our days. Most people arrive at uni not knowing anyone, so everyone is in the same boat and usually very keen to make friends. If you can, try to say a quick hello to other students in your halls, everyone is just as nervous as you are!
I hope this helps!
Feel free to ask me any other questions that might be worrying you
Esther
Student Ambassador
I'm a first-year at Coventry University. I want to start by saying it’s completely okay to feel worried sick. Moving three hours away is a huge change, but you're definitely not alone in that feeling!
While I’m not autistic myself, some of my closest friends and one of my flatmates are. From what I’ve seen, the best way they found their "people" was through special interest societies. I met two of my friends on my course and we got to know each other much better by going to the crafting society together. These groups are great because the focus is on the activity (like music, crafting, or D&D), which takes the pressure off the social side of things. Most societies have free taster sessions, so you can test the waters without any pressure.
Many of my friends are also three hours from home. They usually have scheduled weekly catch-ups with family, though I personally chat with my parents almost daily to ask random questions or just talk about our days. Most people arrive at uni not knowing anyone, so everyone is in the same boat and usually very keen to make friends. If you can, try to say a quick hello to other students in your halls, everyone is just as nervous as you are!
I hope this helps!
Feel free to ask me any other questions that might be worrying you
Esther
Student Ambassador
Original post
by Anonymousim due to start uni in september and I am autistic and always struggled with friendships, social stuff, etc despite loving meeting new people and going out. im also moving into halls 3 hours away from home which is a big change. im honestly worried sick
if there's anyone whos been or is in a similar position and has any advice please let me know x
if there's anyone whos been or is in a similar position and has any advice please let me know x
Hi there 😊
I can completely empathise with this 💝
I am also autistic (+ ADHD) and can understand your worries. Uni brings lots of environment changes, new places, new people, new norms and a whole new world to discover - which is amazing!! But also can be a reasonably daunting thing 😅 if I can say first of all, even getting to this point of deciding on a uni and all the work it takes to get there is amazing so remind yourself how hard you've worked and how much you deserve to be there 😁 however you show up and feel is totally valid, we are all unique people and I always say uni has this special way of shaping around you instead of you having to shape around it (I hope that makes sense). My point being, be yourself and you will find your place and people ☺️
You mentioned you love meeting new people which is fab, uni has so much to offer! In my experience, before uni started (over the Summer) I joined some groups on Facebook for freshers for my year and joined a few group chats which helped to ease me into the idea of socialising a little bit and soothe some nerves. I didn't stay in accommodation, but I know people who managed to link up with people they were sharing a flat with, would be staying in their building, etc. which they found a big help. We even have an app now called Campus Connect at the University of Salford which helps people to meet other students so I recommend seeing if there's anything similar at your university!
I also joined some societies in my first year which helped get me out there with chances to meet new people, and the shared interest is a great ice breaker especially if you're doing an activity. I get serious anxiety at doing new things in front of people so totally understand if this is nerve-wracking, but I definitely enjoyed myself and forgot my nerves once I got going...getting myself out there and taking that first step was the hardest bit. Plus if you really don't like something you don't have to go back. Most societies let you attend a couple of events before committing to a membership.
I also met lots of my course mates in our Welcome Week, usually known as freshers week, and if you're feeling brave I really recommend suggesting starting a group chat to anyone you meet. People will be nervous and a bit shy but it really helps and they will likely be delighted you've taken that first step to start one! You're all in the same boat!
Lastly, joining voluntary roles with my students union as a Course Representative and currently a School Representative have really suited me and I do think lends itself to some of my autistic traits. I really thrive when I have a clear role, giving feedback and opinions, and utilising my sense of justice so I've really found my place in anything to do with student experience. I absolutely love it so really recommend looking out for these, plus I met lots of likeminded people through this. I also work as a Student Ambassador which over the years has introduced me to so many amazing people who are now some of my closest friends, and again I have lots of chances to contribute to student experience and help others which I really love. Any roles at all which come up I advise taking a look at, the confidence boost this has given me and chances to meet so many different and accepting people has been invaluable 🌟
There is so much support at university so please don't hesitate to reach out, like you are doing now and when you're there. Whether that's to friends and family from home, to new people you meet at university, or to the university support services themselves. If you find your worries really weighing on you before you start, you could also reach out to your uni specifically and ask about support services in advance for some reassurance. Universities are usually well equipped with helping new students to navigate this new experience and I assure you, you will not be alone 💞
You've got this!
And if you have any more questions or want some tips please feel free to ask 😊
Becky
University of Salford Student Rep
Reply 4
20
Hi.
In addition to what was already said I have to add something that might help.
One technique I use a lot when meeting new people is first of all explaining that I have social anxiety and may react differently in certain situations. I also explain how to react if I have a social anxiety episode. I do the same with other medical conditions.
It makes so much easier to deal with episodes later and people react very good to situations.
I think it will make your adaptation easier if you explain your future classmates and roommates how to react to you and what are your requirements. Everyone is different but the method really makes it much easier to adjust things and be ready and avoid many awkward situations. For example if you don't like physical contact, explain why and people won't try to friendly hug you when you meet. Instead you will both invent another fun way to greet each other and it would be comfortable for both sides. If you do it in the first days you meet it will be much easier later and it will create an interaction that will probably be beneficial for both sides. First interactions are the hardest so one like that is always appreciated.
Hope it helped.
Best wishes,
Kathy.
In addition to what was already said I have to add something that might help.
One technique I use a lot when meeting new people is first of all explaining that I have social anxiety and may react differently in certain situations. I also explain how to react if I have a social anxiety episode. I do the same with other medical conditions.
It makes so much easier to deal with episodes later and people react very good to situations.
I think it will make your adaptation easier if you explain your future classmates and roommates how to react to you and what are your requirements. Everyone is different but the method really makes it much easier to adjust things and be ready and avoid many awkward situations. For example if you don't like physical contact, explain why and people won't try to friendly hug you when you meet. Instead you will both invent another fun way to greet each other and it would be comfortable for both sides. If you do it in the first days you meet it will be much easier later and it will create an interaction that will probably be beneficial for both sides. First interactions are the hardest so one like that is always appreciated.
Hope it helped.
Best wishes,
Kathy.
Reply 5
Original post
by Anonymousim due to start uni in september and I am autistic and always struggled with friendships, social stuff, etc despite loving meeting new people and going out. im also moving into halls 3 hours away from home which is a big change. im honestly worried sick
if there's anyone whos been or is in a similar position and has any advice please let me know x
if there's anyone whos been or is in a similar position and has any advice please let me know x
awe that so cool its okay my bff is austic his name Caleb he really sweet honey just be yourself you'll make a lot of friends who deserve you if you need anything like to talk I'm gladly talk with you whenever just know ik its not easy fitting in for me either just smile and know you're worthy I bet your charming or pretty
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- Autism and university
- Best Uni for Autism and ADHD support?
- i think my flatmates hate me, what do i do?
- DSA for ensuite accommodation at uni
- Help me choose my career!
- Experience of halls (as an autistic student)?
- Anxiety is effecting my life what can I do?
- Moving to uni halls with autism
- Is Exeter uni good or are the stereotypes true?
- Autistic and university
- i'm having issues with university choices
- Disability support review Uni of Glasgow
- Never had a serious relationship?
- Participant Recruitment
- What is it like at Cardiff Uni? (Politics applicant)
- RAADS-R
- Autism Assessments and Advice
- Autism diagnosis
- Oxbridge STEM
- Home or away? Uni advice appreciated!!
Latest
Trending
Last reply 2 months ago
Laptop vs iPad for universityLast reply 7 months ago
living away from home for university- pros / cons, advice ?University life
15
15
Last reply 7 months ago
Should I Appeal an Academic Misconduct Finding at a UK University?Last reply 7 months ago
Will I be an outcast in uni if I don’t use social media?University life
14
13
How The Student Room is moderated
To keep The Student Room safe for everyone, we moderate posts that are added to the site.
