Vent: Driving practice
I am back from a driving lesson with my dad (after having around 10 hours already). It was horrendous. I spent 90% of an hour bawling my eyes out. It started when we were in front of the house and I was scared I would drive into the other cars in the street and froze. Another car was coming and my dad got mad and said we can't stay in the middle of the road like this but I didn't know what else to do. My mind went blank. He said well start the car. I could't. He got mad. I had my first crying sesh. Then I went down the alley, still crying. Another thing is I don't put my hand properly on the steerwheel. That annoys the **** out of him and it's like he thinks I do it on purpose. And I forget to check every direction before taking a turn.
At one point he got proper mad and said I disrespect him because whenever he tells me I am not doing something properly I tell him I was already doing it. And that if I wanted to pass, I had to look at all 3 mirrors before doing anything. And I just got yelled at everytime I did something wrong, which I yelled in return (that's what usually happens) and then I had a panic attack and he said I need to stop behaving like a child and cry. I told him I can't focus on 4 things at the same time and he said I must and if I don't I'll fail. He also said I need to accept the yelling and getting angry and if I had actual driving lessons they would be nice to me because I would leave 5 grands just on the lessons and that I needed to learn fast. When I just freeze and stop he gets angry and says I just need to go forward and it's not complicated and it doesn't need thinking. It feels like he doens't teach me stuff and expects me to pick it up by doing and when I don't and he repeats it to me 10 times he gets mad. (whilst I struggle to pay attention to where my hands are on the steerwheel/or on my laps when I am thinking about checking the mirrors, staying on my lane and accelerating/stopping)
I ended up having a panic attack and hyperventilating and he waited for me to calm down before continuing. Then he would say things like:well done, you are getting the hang of this, but 30 secs later he would shout to accelerate, why are you going so slowly, switch gears...
It feels like whatever I do, I might get yelled at anyway, so I don't really wanna do it.
It feels like driving is some kind of sorcery at this point, I don't know how people can do it so easily on auto-pilot. I need my license for uni but practice sessions are very discouraging when they are not traumatising and getting professional lessons is out of budget.
At one point he got proper mad and said I disrespect him because whenever he tells me I am not doing something properly I tell him I was already doing it. And that if I wanted to pass, I had to look at all 3 mirrors before doing anything. And I just got yelled at everytime I did something wrong, which I yelled in return (that's what usually happens) and then I had a panic attack and he said I need to stop behaving like a child and cry. I told him I can't focus on 4 things at the same time and he said I must and if I don't I'll fail. He also said I need to accept the yelling and getting angry and if I had actual driving lessons they would be nice to me because I would leave 5 grands just on the lessons and that I needed to learn fast. When I just freeze and stop he gets angry and says I just need to go forward and it's not complicated and it doesn't need thinking. It feels like he doens't teach me stuff and expects me to pick it up by doing and when I don't and he repeats it to me 10 times he gets mad. (whilst I struggle to pay attention to where my hands are on the steerwheel/or on my laps when I am thinking about checking the mirrors, staying on my lane and accelerating/stopping)
I ended up having a panic attack and hyperventilating and he waited for me to calm down before continuing. Then he would say things like:well done, you are getting the hang of this, but 30 secs later he would shout to accelerate, why are you going so slowly, switch gears...
It feels like whatever I do, I might get yelled at anyway, so I don't really wanna do it.
It feels like driving is some kind of sorcery at this point, I don't know how people can do it so easily on auto-pilot. I need my license for uni but practice sessions are very discouraging when they are not traumatising and getting professional lessons is out of budget.
Reply 1
Change your instructor...
Reply 2
You can’t learn with someone that will yell at you. Thank him for offering but just stick with instructors.
Reply 3
20
Try finding an instructor that can deal with someone with anxiety. It really helps. Not everyone can be an instructor for someone with anxiety. It requires different methods of teaching and dealing with problems. You may also require a bit more lessons than usual, that's completely fine.
You can be a very good driver.
You can be a very good driver.
Reply 4
13
Original post
by Admit-OneYou can’t learn with someone that will yell at you. Thank him for offering but just stick with instructors.
It's either that or nothing to be honest he is not paying instructors and I did my theory which I don't want to do again.
Reply 5
Original post
by wilderoseIt's either that or nothing to be honest he is not paying instructors and I did my theory which I don't want to do again.
If he can’t teach calmly without triggering anxiety attacks then it’ll have to be nothing.
Reply 6
13
Original post
by Kathy89Try finding an instructor that can deal with someone with anxiety. It really helps. Not everyone can be an instructor for someone with anxiety. It requires different methods of teaching and dealing with problems. You may also require a bit more lessons than usual, that's completely fine.
You can be a very good driver.
You can be a very good driver.
Thank you for the reassurance 🫶🏻 I don't think I am particularly anxious normally but some situations (like this one) will get on my nerves unfortunately
Reply 7
20
Original post
by wilderoseThank you for the reassurance 🫶🏻 I don't think I am particularly anxious normally but some situations (like this one) will get on my nerves unfortunately
Still better to study with an instructor.
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