Controlling parents

RH1990s

Please can I have some advice on the best way to deal with controlling parents in adulthood?

Reply 1

Be firm one time, stand your ground and set your boundaries. Do not be afraid, do not leave room for rebuttal. You don’t owe them play-by-play updates. Share less, especially about decisions you know they’ll try to control. Don't over-explain. The more reasons you give, the more openings they see to argue. Their discomfort with your independence isn’t proof you’re being ungrateful or wrong, which might be something they try to convince you of. It’s often just them struggling to adjust. Stand your ground, be firm, get it.

Reply 2

Itssuzduh

I go through the same thing I think you’re going through but my mom found out that I called her emotionally abusive to my friends and she took my phone away, which isn’t really a phone it’s a flip phone…… Yeah, and my mom is emotionally abusive. I mean, she yells sometimes has hit me though but even makes fun of me and stuff, but I haven’t told anyone like an adult because it would go bad. You’re not alone I get where you’re going through but maybe just get through what you can move out when you’re 18. I feel like that’s the only advice I can give coming from somebody who’s going through that. It’s what I’m gonna do.

Reply 3

username7788165

Original post

by RH1990s

Please can I have some advice on the best way to deal with controlling parents in adulthood?

Since you're an adult you have the choice whether to disconnect from them or just separate. They need to understand you are no longer a child under their thumb. Try talk with them at first. However if you've already done this then it's time to tell them off. You are suppose to make mistakes and be free to learn from them, they need to back off. But YOU need to be strong enough to tell them and set that line, if you don't have the strength none of these advices will help.

Reply 4

Dunnig Kruger

Move out of their home!

If there's any sort of possibility of some sort of honour punishment from them, do a flit!
Move out, without any warning to them, and do not let them know where you've moved to and cut off all contact with them and people that know them.

Reply 5

Jakson123

It's much easier if you don't live under their roof! You might even find your relationship improves considerably. If you're still at home I guess you have to remember they own the place....depends what they're doing that's controlling.