Stuggling to make friends/ find accomidation for next year at uni

1

Hey,
Im at student at MMU and this uni year has been tough for me, I have been able to make great friends but they arent up for really doing anything during evenings and weekend and I feel very isolated over the weekend just stuck in my accom all the time. Plus most of my friends commute and the others are either going in to flats next year with other friends or just havent offered to go into accom with me. Is anyone else in the same situation?

Reply 1

JACKLHU

Official Rep

8

Hi @Amber06,

Sorry to hear about that, hope you are all well.

In terms of other ways to meet new students at the University, the Student Union will have sports and non-sport-based societies that you could get involved with. They may run events/ socials throughout the week, or even on the weekend, You can get involved with them in your free time. Universities may even run general events for all students, so look out for any that may interest you throughout the academic year.

With regards to the accommodation, you could either move back home and commute to University. Some students may decide to do this and commute into University if they don't live too far away. Another option, if you need to get accommodation, is to check if your University has any options for you, or even see if they work with any Student Accommodation agents who provide student accommodation. This can allow you to take a look at what is available, the relevant costs e.g. bills/rent and how far it is from the campus.

Check your University website, and see what information you can find. Hope this is helpful!

All the best

Jack

Reply 2

UniofLawStudent6

Official Rep

5

Original post

by Amber06

Hey,
Im at student at MMU and this uni year has been tough for me, I have been able to make great friends but they arent up for really doing anything during evenings and weekend and I feel very isolated over the weekend just stuck in my accom all the time. Plus most of my friends commute and the others are either going in to flats next year with other friends or just havent offered to go into accom with me. Is anyone else in the same situation?

Hi @Amber06 ,

I completely agree with Jack's advice! When I was studying for my undergraduate degree, student societies definitely helped me to connect with others with similar interests and provided more regular, fixed opportunities for social events compared to spontaneous meet-ups with my usual friends (especially when it gets close to exam season and everyone is too busy to socialise!). You could also find opportunities outside of the university, such as local book/games/sports/crafts clubs, where you can meet a broader range of people from the city - have a look on social media to see if there are any groups advertised 😊

With regards to accommodation, I was too late in signing a house with my friends and ended up sharing with a few acquaintances. While I definitely felt FOMO at times, I actually found this arrangement worked quite well - I was able to have my house as a more private space where I could wind down and focus on studying, then I simply appreciated my meet-ups with friends even more (but maybe that's because I don't have an amazing social battery 😅). What I'm trying to say is don't worry too much that you aren't able to share accommodation with your friends this time - I'm sure there are other mutual contacts who are also in a similar situation and looking for flatmates, and there often are groups on social media/other initiatives set up by the university which can help you with this. For example, you can chat with the MMU accommodation team at https://www.mmu.ac.uk/study/accommodation/chat-with-us.

Hope you find a solution that works for you and let me know if you have any questions!

Holly - PGDL Student
University of Law

Reply 3

Kingston Grace

Official Rep

13

Original post

by Amber06

Hey,
Im at student at MMU and this uni year has been tough for me, I have been able to make great friends but they arent up for really doing anything during evenings and weekend and I feel very isolated over the weekend just stuck in my accom all the time. Plus most of my friends commute and the others are either going in to flats next year with other friends or just havent offered to go into accom with me. Is anyone else in the same situation?

Hey @Amber06

Great advice already, completely agree. Just thought I would add that in terms of finding accommodation there are usually people on university Facebook groups looking for flatmates or even here on the student room, so I am sure you will find something. Plus you never know you may have way more in common with your new flatmates and get along with them really well!!

Wishing you the best of luck :smile:

-Grace (Kingston Rep)

Reply 4

BCU Student Rep

Official Rep

18

Original post

by Amber06

Hey,
Im at student at MMU and this uni year has been tough for me, I have been able to make great friends but they arent up for really doing anything during evenings and weekend and I feel very isolated over the weekend just stuck in my accom all the time. Plus most of my friends commute and the others are either going in to flats next year with other friends or just havent offered to go into accom with me. Is anyone else in the same situation?

Hey @Amber06 , I hope you are well! Honestly, a lot more people are in this situation than you would think. I have realised that it just does not get talked about much because everyone assumes they are the only one. And I actually understand the stage you are at, you have made good course friends but not yet the kind of friendships that naturally fill evenings and weekends. That gap can feel surprisingly lonely.

Firstly, you have already done the hard part because you have made friends, you get along well with people and you are social during uni time. The issue is not you, it's more of the 'uni context' of it all rather than life outside uni. This totally happens and I remember when I was in a similar position so my advice actually comes from a place of experience even if it sounds like I am repeating what others have validly said.

What helped me push my uni friendships forward:
I am someone who is shy to initiate that first step but I realised that I needed to shift from waiting for plans to creating smaller ones. Big group plans are honestly hard, small specific invites work better.

So I realised that instead of saying, "We should hang out sometime" saying things like, "I'm grabbing coffee on Saturday, want to come?" or even "I'm going for a walk in town, anyone free?" these are low pressure and more specific so easier for people to say yes to.

How to make weekends feel less isolating:

Create a weekend anchor
So one regular thing that gets you out:

•

Society session

•

gym class

•

volunteering

•

study cafe routine

•

stroll (if the weather allows 😂)

Having one fixed thing absolutely helps.

Expand instead of replacing:
You do not necessarily need new best friends but rather more social options. So this comes from:

•

different societies

•

course group chats

•

uni events

Change environment when you feel stuck:

Even small changes help mentally:

•

studying in the library

•

go for a walk with headphones

•

explore parts of the city you have not seen

Something I would also like to highlight is how first year friendships often look like meeting lots of people then realising friendships aren't as deep as expected then finding your actual people. And you are in the middle stage right now.

The fact that you are trying, showing up socially and reflecting on this already tells me you are doing things the right way, even if it does not feel like it yet.

Ru
BCU Student rep.

(edited 2 weeks ago)

Reply 5

EssexStudentRep

Official Rep

14

Original post

by Amber06

Hey,
Im at student at MMU and this uni year has been tough for me, I have been able to make great friends but they arent up for really doing anything during evenings and weekend and I feel very isolated over the weekend just stuck in my accom all the time. Plus most of my friends commute and the others are either going in to flats next year with other friends or just havent offered to go into accom with me. Is anyone else in the same situation?

Hi @Amber06👋

Hope you are well. I am sorry to hear you are going through that. I suggest attending some events on campus to meet some more people possibly. There are plenty of opportunities to make friends on campus such as joining societies, going to parties hosted by societies, maybe some arts and crafts or music events etc. Joining a sports club or reading club.

There will be plenty of events going on during the week especially in the evenings and weekends so make sure you keep an eye out for them because they are a good way to make sure you do not get bored in the weekends especially 🙂

Regarding accommodation, it may be best to contact your university about it and see if there are any options. Possibly commuting if that is an option for you to be acceptable or getting a studio on campus if you aren't keen on living with others you don't know. Otherwise you may just be in accommodation with some new people and it is not so bad honestly, I live with 4 others girls who I had no clue about but we do well still and I am in my second year now 🤗

Essex Student Rep- Lavanya 💜

Stuggling to make friends/ find accomidation for next year at uni

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