The Student Room Group

friend might be moving FAR AWAY??

for context one of my closest friends (let’s call them X) is applying for foreign uni (about 10hr flight from where we are currently based), has an offer from this uni and it’s their first choice. the only thing is that the grade requirements are really high, X’s other uni options are relatively local.

I understand that people move etc and am not that concerned about ‘losing’ friends when I inevitably go to different uni to them, but X is different because it’s so far away 😭
and I’m quite close with X so it’s very sad :frown:
I guess it’s fair to say I have some abandonment issues which does not help the situation

also X isn’t really the best at keeping in touch (online) so I’m scared abt losing contact/being less close for this reason too. time difference also hits hard.

I’ve been to the country X’s top uni is in and am kinda familiar with it, and obviously I would try visit them whenever possible in the future but it’s not the most ideal situation (expensive, far and difficult to fit in schedules with uni term breaks)

any advice in dealing with this will be appreciated (which does NOT include praying on X’s academic downfall 👍)

Reply 1

Original post
by Anonymous
for context one of my closest friends (let’s call them X) is applying for foreign uni (about 10hr flight from where we are currently based), has an offer from this uni and it’s their first choice. the only thing is that the grade requirements are really high, X’s other uni options are relatively local.

I understand that people move etc and am not that concerned about ‘losing’ friends when I inevitably go to different uni to them, but X is different because it’s so far away 😭
and I’m quite close with X so it’s very sad :frown:
I guess it’s fair to say I have some abandonment issues which does not help the situation

also X isn’t really the best at keeping in touch (online) so I’m scared abt losing contact/being less close for this reason too. time difference also hits hard.

I’ve been to the country X’s top uni is in and am kinda familiar with it, and obviously I would try visit them whenever possible in the future but it’s not the most ideal situation (expensive, far and difficult to fit in schedules with uni term breaks)

any advice in dealing with this will be appreciated (which does NOT include praying on X’s academic downfall 👍)

This sort of thing regrettably happens and it's a part of life... I've admittedly mostly been that friend who has left for another country, more times than I care for, but it's also happened to me that very close friends move away. It's very sad but life moves on. It's OK to be sad and grieve, but you should move on too, you're starting a new life stage too by starting uni, so make new friends! Although obviously don't lose contact with your friend. Call him every now and again. Maybe send him a letter? You'll figure it out :smile:

Reply 2

Original post
by Anonymous
for context one of my closest friends (let’s call them X) is applying for foreign uni (about 10hr flight from where we are currently based), has an offer from this uni and it’s their first choice. the only thing is that the grade requirements are really high, X’s other uni options are relatively local.
I understand that people move etc and am not that concerned about ‘losing’ friends when I inevitably go to different uni to them, but X is different because it’s so far away 😭
and I’m quite close with X so it’s very sad :frown:
I guess it’s fair to say I have some abandonment issues which does not help the situation
also X isn’t really the best at keeping in touch (online) so I’m scared abt losing contact/being less close for this reason too. time difference also hits hard.
I’ve been to the country X’s top uni is in and am kinda familiar with it, and obviously I would try visit them whenever possible in the future but it’s not the most ideal situation (expensive, far and difficult to fit in schedules with uni term breaks)
any advice in dealing with this will be appreciated (which does NOT include praying on X’s academic downfall 👍)

so this happened with me where i’m in the uk and one of my friends moved to Malaysia ( 8h time difference) and i would say you just need to keep reaching out - they can’t not reply forever (i say this as someone who is terrible at keeping in touch with people )

Reply 3

Original post
by Anonymous
for context one of my closest friends (let’s call them X) is applying for foreign uni (about 10hr flight from where we are currently based), has an offer from this uni and it’s their first choice. the only thing is that the grade requirements are really high, X’s other uni options are relatively local.
I understand that people move etc and am not that concerned about ‘losing’ friends when I inevitably go to different uni to them, but X is different because it’s so far away 😭
and I’m quite close with X so it’s very sad :frown:
I guess it’s fair to say I have some abandonment issues which does not help the situation
also X isn’t really the best at keeping in touch (online) so I’m scared abt losing contact/being less close for this reason too. time difference also hits hard.
I’ve been to the country X’s top uni is in and am kinda familiar with it, and obviously I would try visit them whenever possible in the future but it’s not the most ideal situation (expensive, far and difficult to fit in schedules with uni term breaks)
any advice in dealing with this will be appreciated (which does NOT include praying on X’s academic downfall 👍)


Hi,

It’s completely understandable to feel worried about staying close with your friend as they move far away, especially with the distance, time difference, and busy schedules.

One thing that can help is setting up a system that works for both of you, e.g, a weekly or biweekly catch-up call that fits around the time difference. Even short messages, voice notes, or sharing little updates can keep you connected without feeling like too much effort. Planning a visit during breaks is nice, but try not to rely on it as the main way to stay close since it can be expensive and tricky to schedule.

At the same time, building your own routines, friendships, and support networks nearby can make it easier if contact with your friend isn’t constant.

Friendships over distance do change, but with some planning, understanding, and mutual effort, it’s definitely possible to stay close. It’s okay for the friendship to look different than before, and that doesn’t make it any less meaningful.

Hope this helps,

Tayba
Student Rep

Reply 4

Thanks, this is really helpful advice :smile:

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