Studying and dating
I'm in Year 12, and I want to go to Oxford for 2027 - I'm prepared and I had so much ready with my routine, back on track with regular fitness and gym schedules around my studies, and I did this after getting out of a pretty toxic two-year relationship with my ex-girlfriend. I'm a girl, but I've never actually had a deep crush on anyone after that ( it's been about seven months )
I've never talked to a guy before. But while I did get back on this fitness route, I made a few posts asking for advice on form etc, and a guy dm'd me ( he's seventeen ), and I've started talking to him more. I redownloaded snapchat for the guy and I HATE that app. I've been struggling to study as much, and I don't want to give up my chance of getting into a good university for a guy, but if he's good then I don't want to lose it
Help?? Has anyone had something similar...? And equally, it's long-distance. He's american. I don't know what to do.
I've never talked to a guy before. But while I did get back on this fitness route, I made a few posts asking for advice on form etc, and a guy dm'd me ( he's seventeen ), and I've started talking to him more. I redownloaded snapchat for the guy and I HATE that app. I've been struggling to study as much, and I don't want to give up my chance of getting into a good university for a guy, but if he's good then I don't want to lose it
Help?? Has anyone had something similar...? And equally, it's long-distance. He's american. I don't know what to do.
Reply 1
18
Heya.
So long distance can work, but only if serious trust and patience is applied.
Have you video called each other?
Personally, I would wait till you're in Oxford (if that's what you're studying for) before committing to a LDR with the American.
Oxford is difficult to get into, and once you're there, then of course, you can plan to meet up, or pursue the lead if you're into him romantically.
Americans typically either have a Samsung or Apple mobile phone, so if you hate using Snapchat, see if he'd be willing to use WhatsApp, Instagram or some other form of social media for connecting, talking, etc?
Good luck with your studies, and don't forget, superstars are made for greatness.
So long distance can work, but only if serious trust and patience is applied.
Have you video called each other?
Personally, I would wait till you're in Oxford (if that's what you're studying for) before committing to a LDR with the American.
Oxford is difficult to get into, and once you're there, then of course, you can plan to meet up, or pursue the lead if you're into him romantically.
Americans typically either have a Samsung or Apple mobile phone, so if you hate using Snapchat, see if he'd be willing to use WhatsApp, Instagram or some other form of social media for connecting, talking, etc?
Good luck with your studies, and don't forget, superstars are made for greatness.
Reply 2
Original post
by AnonymousI'm in Year 12, and I want to go to Oxford for 2027 - I'm prepared and I had so much ready with my routine, back on track with regular fitness and gym schedules around my studies, and I did this after getting out of a pretty toxic two-year relationship with my ex-girlfriend. I'm a girl, but I've never actually had a deep crush on anyone after that ( it's been about seven months )
I've never talked to a guy before. But while I did get back on this fitness route, I made a few posts asking for advice on form etc, and a guy dm'd me ( he's seventeen ), and I've started talking to him more. I redownloaded snapchat for the guy and I HATE that app. I've been struggling to study as much, and I don't want to give up my chance of getting into a good university for a guy, but if he's good then I don't want to lose it
Help?? Has anyone had something similar...? And equally, it's long-distance. He's american. I don't know what to do.
I've never talked to a guy before. But while I did get back on this fitness route, I made a few posts asking for advice on form etc, and a guy dm'd me ( he's seventeen ), and I've started talking to him more. I redownloaded snapchat for the guy and I HATE that app. I've been struggling to study as much, and I don't want to give up my chance of getting into a good university for a guy, but if he's good then I don't want to lose it
Help?? Has anyone had something similar...? And equally, it's long-distance. He's american. I don't know what to do.
Honestly it sounds like you already know what your priority is — Oxford and staying on track — and that’s not a bad thing. The right person won’t make you feel like you have to choose between your goals and talking to them. If you’re noticing your study routine slipping or downloading apps you don’t even like just to keep a conversation going, that’s a good moment to slow things down a bit.
You don’t have to cut him off completely, but maybe set some boundaries for yourself first — like only messaging after you’ve finished your work for the day, or limiting how often you’re on Snapchat so it doesn’t eat into your focus. Long-distance online connections can feel intense quickly, especially when you’re coming out of a tough relationship, so it’s okay to take things really slowly and keep your routine solid.
Also just be a bit cautious with online stuff — you don’t fully know someone yet, and you shouldn’t feel pressured to change habits or priorities for them this early.
Loads of people in Year 12 go through this where someone new shows up right as they’re trying to lock in for uni. It doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing — protect your momentum first, and see if the connection still feels healthy when your goals stay in place 🙂
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