The Student Room Group

What am I supposed to do?

So I've been signing on for the last year and still have not got a job. I've done 2 training g course which did not help either. I've had so many work coaches the recent one was the worst. She kept mentioning my social anxiety but clearly didn't understand what it is because she was saying I'm being picky when she was showing me school admin jobs which I said I'm not looking for, a school would be a noisy environment and id have to interact with parents, students as well as colleagues which wouldn't be good with my social anxiety. I have a quiet voice too so no one would hear me. I managed to get an interview for a job that would either take 3 hours to get to with 3 buses or 1 hour with a train and a bus which would be £19 something a week which would add up to around £400 a month if I worked 5 days a week. I ended up cancelling it there was no point if I did get the job I would not be able to pay that much when the wage probably would have been around that much or not much more. She said you will have saving when you have a job like how if I'm spending £400 on travel there won't be much left over idk how much the wage would have been and it was only temporary for 12 months anyway. At least I'm having a different work coach next time and hope I never have her again, I only had her twice and she already made me increase the amount of jobs I have to apply for to 18 every 2 weeks when I'm lucky if I find half of that.

I hate it so much, whenever I have a nice work coach they leave and I end up with a rubbish one like her. They don't even help and want me to apply for jobs that someone with social anxiety, introverted and quiet would not be able to do like bar work, school admin like if I can't do it I'll either not get the job, get the job but get fired or quit. She just wanted to make herself look good. I'd rather have a job in the background like a small quiet office or remote work working alone or in small groups not these loud places they want me to do. I'd rather have a job then go to the jobcentre every 2 weeks to be looked down upon and lectured. I have no choice, if I don't go I'll have no money to live off.
Original post
by Anonymusy
So I've been signing on for the last year and still have not got a job. I've done 2 training g course which did not help either. I've had so many work coaches the recent one was the worst. She kept mentioning my social anxiety but clearly didn't understand what it is because she was saying I'm being picky when she was showing me school admin jobs which I said I'm not looking for, a school would be a noisy environment and id have to interact with parents, students as well as colleagues which wouldn't be good with my social anxiety. I have a quiet voice too so no one would hear me. I managed to get an interview for a job that would either take 3 hours to get to with 3 buses or 1 hour with a train and a bus which would be £19 something a week which would add up to around £400 a month if I worked 5 days a week. I ended up cancelling it there was no point if I did get the job I would not be able to pay that much when the wage probably would have been around that much or not much more. She said you will have saving when you have a job like how if I'm spending £400 on travel there won't be much left over idk how much the wage would have been and it was only temporary for 12 months anyway. At least I'm having a different work coach next time and hope I never have her again, I only had her twice and she already made me increase the amount of jobs I have to apply for to 18 every 2 weeks when I'm lucky if I find half of that.
I hate it so much, whenever I have a nice work coach they leave and I end up with a rubbish one like her. They don't even help and want me to apply for jobs that someone with social anxiety, introverted and quiet would not be able to do like bar work, school admin like if I can't do it I'll either not get the job, get the job but get fired or quit. She just wanted to make herself look good. I'd rather have a job in the background like a small quiet office or remote work working alone or in small groups not these loud places they want me to do. I'd rather have a job then go to the jobcentre every 2 weeks to be looked down upon and lectured. I have no choice, if I don't go I'll have no money to live off.

If you have trouble with a work coach, then could you not take it up with someone higher up at the job centre?
Keep on applying for jobs though. You will get one eventually.
I know you dont want to do certain jobs because of your social anxiety, but would doing jobs that are outside of your comfort zone actually help you in the long run?

Reply 2

Original post
by Emma:-)
If you have trouble with a work coach, then could you not take it up with someone higher up at the job centre?
Keep on applying for jobs though. You will get one eventually.
I know you dont want to do certain jobs because of your social anxiety, but would doing jobs that are outside of your comfort zone actually help you in the long run?

I don't know if I can take it up with someone higher up and I don't want to complain in case she finds out and does something so I get sanctioned or worse but I had the appointment with the different work coach and she was really nice. She was going to book my next appointment with the no good one and I told her can I have a different work coach and she said I don't know why you want a different work coach but you're assigned one work coach so you don't have to keep explaining your situation to a new one so then I told her the other one doesn't understand me, I have social anxiety and apply apply for jobs I can do and she said I'm picky, I also told her about the job interview I was supposed to have but couldn't do because of the travel costs. She was understanding and then booked my next appointment with her and asked if I wanted to try a video one which I said ok but could it be a call. She said if there was one available as they go fast and are really for people who have difficulties coming in the jobcentre. I said ok even though I don't mind going in as long as the work coach is good and if there's not a call available I'll do a video but she had a call available. I don't know if she'll be my permanent work coach but hopefully she will be until I get a job, if the worst comes to the worst and I have to have the no good work coach again then I'm going to have to ask this new one how to change work coach because seeing her stressed me out and my anxiety went over the roof even though I only saw her twice it was so awkward and uncomfortable around her. She made me feel like I was small and it was so intimidating.

I don't know if jobs out of my comfort zone would be good, I'd get overwhelmed and end up quitting then they'd probably sanction me if I signed on again plus my social anxiety is not diagnosed, I possibly have one of those conditions like selective mutism but I've never told a doctor and doctors have never said anything like they've said I'm not very talkative and it's not normal but they've never taken it further and I don't want to say nothing as they're just going to put me on anti depressants or some other medication when I'm not depressed I'm just quiet, introverted and have anxiety, confidence issues around loads of people, public speaking is a no go with my quiet voice I really struggled at university when there was large rooms and tutors said they couldn't hear me even when they could and other students would laugh making my anxiety even worse even when they knew I'm an introvert and quiet, group tutorials were the worst I would get picked on for being quiet. It really sucks no one understands even my family. My mum just says speak up you can't be quiet or people will take advantage, she doesn't get me. I can't just be loud and solve this issue just like, I will most likely have these issues for life, people are so cruel they can't accept people like me who are different and don't have a big gob like them.

Reply 3

You're not going to thank me for this but I say it from a place of experience. It sounds like you've got too comfortable on benefits and became unwilling to try anything out of a narrow comfort zone and the DWP advisers are aware of this, it's part of their job to stop you doing exactly that. You aren't supposed to get too cozy with a work coach, you need to remember they have caseloads to manage and justify to their bosses so if you sit there for a year with no results it's making them look bad and eventually one of their bosses will decide to up the pressure, ie a new work coach, more regular appointments, making you do your jobsearch in the jobcentre or cranking up the number of things you need to find and apply for.

Unless you have an absolutely ironclad diagnosis of jobs you can and cannot do they very much have finite patience for people saying No to things. Eventually, no matter what else is going on, they will see your own attitude as the biggest barrier to your employment. and start getting heavier.

In terms of travel, people who are working/commuting 5 days are almost never paying for single fares each and every day, they're buying weekly/monthly/annual passes or have discount passes etc and paying significantly less.

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