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My mum won’t let me go out on my own because she says she doesn’t trust me

So I’m 18 and I want to go to this like event/party on Saturday, and I told my mum I’m going and she said no I can’t go?? It’s in another town 20 miles away so I would have to either get the bus for 1.5 hours each way, or get the train for 30 minutes each way. It’s literally from 3:30pm to 8pm, not even in the middle of the night. I’ll literally be home latest at like 9:30?? She says she doesn’t trust me enough to be going that far on my own, and I’m annoyed bc I bought a ticket to go which she says is my fault for not asking first. But also I’m literally planning on moving like 150 miles away for university in September, so I don’t even understand how me going 20 miles away for one afternoon is a bad thing?? What does she expect to happen in September? I’m so confused.

Reply 1

I think she is very protective of you which I completely understand from both sides. I think when you do move to university, she expects you to be within a safe area with “reasonable” people. Yet again, you are already 18 and she won’t even let you travel 20 miles? That is very much confusing…

Reply 2

Original post
by Anonymous
So I’m 18 and I want to go to this like event/party on Saturday, and I told my mum I’m going and she said no I can’t go?? It’s in another town 20 miles away so I would have to either get the bus for 1.5 hours each way, or get the train for 30 minutes each way. It’s literally from 3:30pm to 8pm, not even in the middle of the night. I’ll literally be home latest at like 9:30?? She says she doesn’t trust me enough to be going that far on my own, and I’m annoyed bc I bought a ticket to go which she says is my fault for not asking first. But also I’m literally planning on moving like 150 miles away for university in September, so I don’t even understand how me going 20 miles away for one afternoon is a bad thing?? What does she expect to happen in September? I’m so confused.

Blagg it - go to a Church social gatherin you have been invited to - it is NOT a party it IS a Church social gatherin just happens to be at the same time as the event/party on Saturday - pure coinsidance only - If you want to blagg somethin, add the word Church ...

Reply 3

I suppose you can try to persuade your Mum that you can be trusted. although my daughter is younger than you, I tell her I trust her, but not others

Reply 4

you can try to persuade your Mum that you can be trusted - exactly, use my strategy - add the word Church ...

Reply 5

Go. You've bought the ticket.
What's she gonna do? Throw you out of her home? Hit you? Shout and scream at you? Give you no supper?

You're 18. It would be unlawful imprisonment if she were to physically prevent you from going.
There's no point in talking about this logically with your mum.
Talk about it emotionally. Tell her you love her a lot and you respect her. And give her a hug. And still go.

The train sounds like a better bet. It's quicker.

And make doubly sure you do move out of her home in September.

Your mum can say you can't go till she's blue in the face. It's not her choice. It's your choice. You're an adult now.
If your relationship with your mum gets worse because of this, so be it. Any mum worth having a relationship with, would forgive their offspring for growing up and acting independently.

Reply 6

Original post
by Dunnig Kruger
Go. You've bought the ticket.
What's she gonna do? Throw you out of her home? Hit you? Shout and scream at you? Give you no supper?
You're 18. It would be unlawful imprisonment if she were to physically prevent you from going.
There's no point in talking about this logically with your mum.
Talk about it emotionally. Tell her you love her a lot and you respect her. And give her a hug. And still go.
The train sounds like a better bet. It's quicker.
And make doubly sure you do move out of her home in September.
Your mum can say you can't go till she's blue in the face. It's not her choice. It's your choice. You're an adult now.
If your relationship with your mum gets worse because of this, so be it. Any mum worth having a relationship with, would forgive their offspring for growing up and acting independently.

Re: Your mum can say you can't go till she's blue in the face. It's not her choice. It's your choice > if you live in her house it confuses things

Reply 7

My parents were like this not sure how I managed to wrangle going away from home for uni, I've completely cut them off now

Reply 8

Re: she say`s she doesn`t trust me > borrow a baby from somebody durin the week - show that you are trustable get that idea in her head and keep it there

Reply 9

Original post
by missguided79
Re: she say`s she doesn`t trust me > borrow a baby from somebody durin the week - show that you are trustable get that idea in her head and keep it there

yes, good luck to OP for borrowing a baby
(edited 1 month ago)

Reply 10

Ask for forgiveness not for permission. You are 18 you can do what you want despite what your mother says and I think she just wants to protect you

Reply 11

Original post
by Dunnig Kruger
Go. You've bought the ticket.
What's she gonna do? Throw you out of her home? Hit you? Shout and scream at you? Give you no supper?
You're 18. It would be unlawful imprisonment if she were to physically prevent you from going.
There's no point in talking about this logically with your mum.
Talk about it emotionally. Tell her you love her a lot and you respect her. And give her a hug. And still go.
The train sounds like a better bet. It's quicker.
And make doubly sure you do move out of her home in September.
Your mum can say you can't go till she's blue in the face. It's not her choice. It's your choice. You're an adult now.
If your relationship with your mum gets worse because of this, so be it. Any mum worth having a relationship with, would forgive their offspring for growing up and acting independently.

I agree your a LEGAL ADULT now you shouldn’t really need her permission to do I things and ur going to move out anyway

Reply 12

Original post
by Anonymous
So I’m 18 and I want to go to this like event/party on Saturday, and I told my mum I’m going and she said no I can’t go?? It’s in another town 20 miles away so I would have to either get the bus for 1.5 hours each way, or get the train for 30 minutes each way. It’s literally from 3:30pm to 8pm, not even in the middle of the night. I’ll literally be home latest at like 9:30?? She says she doesn’t trust me enough to be going that far on my own, and I’m annoyed bc I bought a ticket to go which she says is my fault for not asking first. But also I’m literally planning on moving like 150 miles away for university in September, so I don’t even understand how me going 20 miles away for one afternoon is a bad thing?? What does she expect to happen in September? I’m so confused.

It is valid to think about discussing the fact that you will be moving to university and how your mum feels about that and just giving her some trust in the fact that you will be as safe as possible exercising responsible actions once away.

Trenyce (kingston rep)

Reply 13

Original post
by Anonymous
So I’m 18 and I want to go to this like event/party on Saturday, and I told my mum I’m going and she said no I can’t go?? It’s in another town 20 miles away so I would have to either get the bus for 1.5 hours each way, or get the train for 30 minutes each way. It’s literally from 3:30pm to 8pm, not even in the middle of the night. I’ll literally be home latest at like 9:30?? She says she doesn’t trust me enough to be going that far on my own, and I’m annoyed bc I bought a ticket to go which she says is my fault for not asking first. But also I’m literally planning on moving like 150 miles away for university in September, so I don’t even understand how me going 20 miles away for one afternoon is a bad thing?? What does she expect to happen in September? I’m so confused.

Your 18 just do it anyway what will she do?

Reply 14

just go

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