What would make uni life easier?

As a Mum, what can I do to make my daughters uni halls journey easier? I want to help without being too much. So far my ideas have been along the ideas of bulk buying toiletries/household items for her and to start collecting gift vouchers and store cards for supermarkets/ubereats etc
However I’m doubting this for storage reasons and also, if housemates see she has such a stockpile she might end up borrowing out a lot and not be worth it/last as long.

What have your parents done that helped or made your life easier? I had her at 18 so done my Uni online. This is all new to me!

Reply 1

ErasistratusV

Access to back up cash.

Vouchers or a subscription or something to a place they can reliably get something to eat at least once a day. Things like a Pret a mange annual subscription. Store cards or gift vouchers are a good idea.

Be on the end of Whatsapp chats as needed. Check in daily or weekly until they get settled in.

Print out a list of contact details, bus and train timetables, important numbers and similar.

Make sure they start the academic year with the right stationery, laptop and other paraphernalia. In the past I saw some students arrive with not a lot of gear and wondered how they would survive beyond freshers week to be honest.

I think there comes a time though where they have to take their own steps, that point will vary from person to person. I think all a parent can do is be there and be the island of stability if their child ever needs it, being a source of advice, guidance and the like.

Reply 2

Girlmum

Original post

by ErasistratusV

Access to back up cash.
Vouchers or a subscription or something to a place they can reliably get something to eat at least once a day. Things like a Pret a mange annual subscription. Store cards or gift vouchers are a good idea.
Be on the end of Whatsapp chats as needed. Check in daily or weekly until they get settled in.
Print out a list of contact details, bus and train timetables, important numbers and similar.
Make sure they start the academic year with the right stationery, laptop and other paraphernalia. In the past I saw some students arrive with not a lot of gear and wondered how they would survive beyond freshers week to be honest.
I think there comes a time though where they have to take their own steps, that point will vary from person to person. I think all a parent can do is be there and be the island of stability if their child ever needs it, being a source of advice, guidance and the like.

Thankyou, this is helpful. Can’t imagine only checking in weekly 😭 thankfully we are only about 45 minutes drive away from where she is so always accessible if she needs anything or is unwell.

Reply 3

ErasistratusV

Original post

by Girlmum

Thankyou, this is helpful. Can’t imagine only checking in weekly 😭 thankfully we are only about 45 minutes drive away from where she is so always accessible if she needs anything or is unwell.

You'll have to gauge it, you know your kin better than anyone. Daily, weekly, once in a while, it's up to you.

Reply 4

PinkMobilePhone

Chat Forum Helper, Life & Style Forum Helper

My daughter started uni this September. I fully kitted her out, including toiletries and a large stock of dried / tinned food. Then when she moved in I took her shopping for fridge and freezer stuff too.

She keeps her dried / tinned food in a drawer under her bed.

I had her when I was 21 and she's my eldest. This is a first for me too - I never lived in halls.

Reply 5

PinkMobilePhone

Chat Forum Helper, Life & Style Forum Helper

Original post

by Girlmum

Thankyou, this is helpful. Can’t imagine only checking in weekly 😭 thankfully we are only about 45 minutes drive away from where she is so always accessible if she needs anything or is unwell.

I check in with my daughter every day, even if it's just a brief message.
We video call about twice a week.

Her uni is about 3 - 3.5 hours away from home (depending on traffic).

Reply 6

Dunnig Kruger

My dad left me and my brothers and sister to pretty much fend for ourselves from when I was aged 7 onwards (apart from the average of about 20 days per year when he'd be with us). It was exasperating that he was emotionally closer to the children of his second wife than he was to his own children.

Living in my mother's home was unpleasant and uncomfortable. And at times, being her child was an exercise in being hardened to embarrassment.

We spent most week-ends at my grandparents house. They provided a bit of stability and "normal traditional" food. They provided no emotional warmth to any of us, apart from my oldest brother who they put on their pedestal.

My next older brother physically bullied me. He eased up a bit when I started fighting back in a "we're both gonna hurt each other, with him able to hurt me more" kind of way. I was relieved when he went off to uni. Goodbye tyrant!

My first year at uni turned out to be very easy. Easier than living in my mum's home.
I struggled with the man to woman social skills for the first 4 months, but was able to work things out for myself - to a good enough extent - that I was able to get by after that.

And the funny thing is, I look back on my childhood as being overwhelmingly positive, because of the things we'd get up to when we weren't at school.

The main things that my parents did to make my life at uni very easy was nothing conscious from them. It was just them being them. Nobody's perfect and we all have our own journeys in life.

Girlmum, how about you focusing on being you and you giving yourself the very best life you reasonably can?
Whilst allowing your daughter to get on with her transformation from childhood to independent adulthood?
You'll see her again at Easter. Make her proud of the progress you make in your life between now and then.