I wanna go to clubs and night outs but I don’t have anyone to go with

I’m 21F and in my second year at uni of Surrey I’ve only been to a handful of clubs over the past couple years but at my current uni I’ve only gone to like one party last semester and I rlly wanna go to more but I don’t rlly have friends who I can go with… like I don’t get invited out so I’m a little stuck, I’m in a house share with other students but we aren’t rlly close and they don’t do nights out so my social circle is rlly rlly limited atm. I’ve been rlly wanted to go out more this year but I feel like my options are limited like it would be rlly weird and kinda depressing to go to a club or a spoons by myself lmao…
I’m making more effort to go to more society events this semester and I’m quite reserved so I’m trying to work on it but atm my nights are literally just spent with me in my room watching something on my iPad so it just feels like I’m wasting my youth or my college days doing nothing yk?

Reply 1

University of Salford Student Rep

Official Rep

13

Original post

by Anonymous

I’m 21F and in my second year at uni of Surrey I’ve only been to a handful of clubs over the past couple years but at my current uni I’ve only gone to like one party last semester and I rlly wanna go to more but I don’t rlly have friends who I can go with… like I don’t get invited out so I’m a little stuck, I’m in a house share with other students but we aren’t rlly close and they don’t do nights out so my social circle is rlly rlly limited atm. I’ve been rlly wanted to go out more this year but I feel like my options are limited like it would be rlly weird and kinda depressing to go to a club or a spoons by myself lmao…
I’m making more effort to go to more society events this semester and I’m quite reserved so I’m trying to work on it but atm my nights are literally just spent with me in my room watching something on my iPad so it just feels like I’m wasting my youth or my college days doing nothing yk?

Hi there,

Great that you're going out to more society events and making these efforts to meet people. It can be really hard to put yourself out there but you're doing the right thing!

My advice would be to keep attending these events where you can and keep trying to strike up conversations...you could always look at societies that involve activities or sports? I find these to be great for forming closer bonds with people. I am terrible at team sports so completely understand if this isn't your thing, but we have things like archery, snow sports, badminton, rock climbing/bouldering/mountaineering, tennis, etc. and these are great things to do to break the ice and get to know others! It can be really fun starting something you've never done before too and lots of people in the society will be able to relate 😊

You can often attend a session or two before committing to any memberships so you could try a few and check out the vibe!

You could try striking up a conversation with others on your course too, suggesting grabbing a coffee after a lecture, getting lunch or heading to the library together can be a good way to start getting to know people and then you could suggest heading to an event together. I find being honest about how you're feeling and that you're trying to meet more people at university is always the best way - everyone is in the same situation at uni with trying to meet friends and they will often understand ☺️

I found my closest friendships in late second and third year at uni and often in really unexpected places. The more I volunteered myself for different roles and pursued stuff I loved to do, the more I met people with common interests and attitudes to myself. Be honest with people and be yourself, keep trying to put yourself out there and try new opportunities when they come up. You've got this!!!

Becky
University of Salford Student Rep

Reply 2

LJMUStudentReps

Official Rep

18

Original post

by Anonymous

I’m 21F and in my second year at uni of Surrey I’ve only been to a handful of clubs over the past couple years but at my current uni I’ve only gone to like one party last semester and I rlly wanna go to more but I don’t rlly have friends who I can go with… like I don’t get invited out so I’m a little stuck, I’m in a house share with other students but we aren’t rlly close and they don’t do nights out so my social circle is rlly rlly limited atm. I’ve been rlly wanted to go out more this year but I feel like my options are limited like it would be rlly weird and kinda depressing to go to a club or a spoons by myself lmao…
I’m making more effort to go to more society events this semester and I’m quite reserved so I’m trying to work on it but atm my nights are literally just spent with me in my room watching something on my iPad so it just feels like I’m wasting my youth or my college days doing nothing yk?

Hi,

As mentioned below I would really stick to joining societies or clubs as they are a great way to meet more people! Sports societies especially are great for nights out as they usually involve socials that include going to clubs etc so if there are any sports that you are in to then I would strongly advise something like this! I joined a campus football team when I started university and have met so many friends. We also do a night out every Wednesday where we meet up and all head into town! The social usual involves a certain theme as-well which makes it a lot more fun.

The good thing about clubs and societies also are that you will be mixing with people who share a similar interest with you. This makes conversations a lot easier and smoother. However, if you are not into many sports then that is absolutely fine there are lots of other opportunities for you to meet people. Is there anyone that you get on with from your course? By simply asking them to do something like grab some food or a drink after a lecture is a great way to spark a new friendship. During the first couple of weeks at uni, I was asked if I wanted to head into the city centre to get some lunch during a break at uni and now I am really good friends with the lads on my course. A lot of friendships at uni come very unexpectedly so stick to it and you will meet your people for sure!

I hope this response has helped! Let me know if you have any other questions, I am more than happy to help!

Thanks Matt 😊
Official LJMU Student Rep

Reply 3

hallamstudents

Official Rep

18

Original post

by Anonymous

I’m 21F and in my second year at uni of Surrey I’ve only been to a handful of clubs over the past couple years but at my current uni I’ve only gone to like one party last semester and I rlly wanna go to more but I don’t rlly have friends who I can go with… like I don’t get invited out so I’m a little stuck, I’m in a house share with other students but we aren’t rlly close and they don’t do nights out so my social circle is rlly rlly limited atm. I’ve been rlly wanted to go out more this year but I feel like my options are limited like it would be rlly weird and kinda depressing to go to a club or a spoons by myself lmao…
I’m making more effort to go to more society events this semester and I’m quite reserved so I’m trying to work on it but atm my nights are literally just spent with me in my room watching something on my iPad so it just feels like I’m wasting my youth or my college days doing nothing yk?

Hi there,

I am sorry to hear you have been feeling like this. I felt like this in my first year as I felt like everyone had loads of friends and were out all the time and I wasn't so I wanted to answer this with some things that I have done which have helped me to meet more people who want to do things like this with me.

•

As people here have mentioned, joining societies is a great way to meet people. I know you have said you have thought about this and I know it can feel scary when you are going on your own, but it will be so worth it if you are meeting people and it is a lot less scary than you think it will be as loads of people go to things like this on their own so it won't just be you.

•

Again, any other uni events are good to go to. This could start off being something like a coffee shop trip that is being put on by the SU as you will then meet people and see if they have similar interests to you and see if they would like to go out! The event itself doesn't have to be anything crazy it is just a good way to get to meet some more people and you then may be introduced to their friends etc.

•

Having a look on social media may be a good idea too! On Facebook there will often be groups where you can meet people at your uni, in your halls and on your course so have a look at some of these and see if you can get chatting to anyone here who you otherwise would not have started talking to! Even the groups for your halls you can get chatting to people in different flats who you otherwise may never have met so it is still worth trying and seeing if you meet anyone there.

•

Talking to the people on your course more (if you don't already). Start off with something smaller such as going for a coffee after uni or going to the library and from there you may find out you are quite similar and get on well to start doing other things too! There will probably be people on your course who feel the same way you do and might just be waiting for someone else to start a conversation or ask them to do things.

I hope some of this helps and things get a bit better soon,

Lucy -SHU student ambassador.

Reply 4

TeesRepChloe1

Official Rep

5

Original post

by Anonymous

I’m 21F and in my second year at uni of Surrey I’ve only been to a handful of clubs over the past couple years but at my current uni I’ve only gone to like one party last semester and I rlly wanna go to more but I don’t rlly have friends who I can go with… like I don’t get invited out so I’m a little stuck, I’m in a house share with other students but we aren’t rlly close and they don’t do nights out so my social circle is rlly rlly limited atm. I’ve been rlly wanted to go out more this year but I feel like my options are limited like it would be rlly weird and kinda depressing to go to a club or a spoons by myself lmao…
I’m making more effort to go to more society events this semester and I’m quite reserved so I’m trying to work on it but atm my nights are literally just spent with me in my room watching something on my iPad so it just feels like I’m wasting my youth or my college days doing nothing yk?

Hi, firstly I just want to say you are absolutely not “wasting your youth”. Social media makes uni look like constant clubbing and chaos, but honestly most people have way more nights in than they admit.

It’s really positive that you want to go out more and you’re making the effort with societies, that’s usually how things start shifting.

Something that helped me was flipping the mindset from waiting to be invited to being the one who suggests something. It doesn’t have to be a huge club night, even messaging someone from a society or your course and saying, “Is anyone heading out this week?” or “I really want to try ___ on Friday, would you be up for it?” You’d be surprised how many people are just waiting for someone else to say it first.

Second year is weirdly when a lot of people reshuffle their social circles, it definitely happened to me.

Even popping to something low-pressure counts. I actually made a friend at an art painting class at my Student Union. It doesn’t have to be full-send clubbing every week to mean you’re “doing uni right”.

You’re already doing the hard bit by trying, that’s not wasting anything 🙂

– Chloe

Reply 5

twayy

3

Original post

by Anonymous

I’m 21F and in my second year at uni of Surrey I’ve only been to a handful of clubs over the past couple years but at my current uni I’ve only gone to like one party last semester and I rlly wanna go to more but I don’t rlly have friends who I can go with… like I don’t get invited out so I’m a little stuck, I’m in a house share with other students but we aren’t rlly close and they don’t do nights out so my social circle is rlly rlly limited atm. I’ve been rlly wanted to go out more this year but I feel like my options are limited like it would be rlly weird and kinda depressing to go to a club or a spoons by myself lmao…
I’m making more effort to go to more society events this semester and I’m quite reserved so I’m trying to work on it but atm my nights are literally just spent with me in my room watching something on my iPad so it just feels like I’m wasting my youth or my college days doing nothing yk?

Hi, I am a first year at Surrey, I know the feeling of wasting your youth, I feel that too. You can always consider me as an option to go out with, I am a 19 year old female. I’m also reserved and a quiet individual.

Reply 6

stevemarkovick

5

Honestly, wanting to go out but not having anyone to go with is more common than people admit. I’ve been in that spot and it feels awkward at first. Sometimes saying yes to smaller social things or joining societies helps build that circle naturally. Going out alone once in a while can even boost confidence, but safety should always come first.

I wanna go to clubs and night outs but I don’t have anyone to go with

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