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Is this good or bad

So the guy I'm talking to is always busy for work but when he is free he calls or texts me and we hung out for like 2 hours today just talking in his car. I'm just confused on if this is good or bad
Why would he not be busy for work?

Reply 2

Original post
by Admit-One
Why would he not be busy for work?

It's not that he wouldn't be busy but's overly busy,

Reply 3

Have you been to his place yet?
If you haven't is that because he's married or living with someone?

Just talking in his car is not a good start. How about going somewhere and doing something?
There will be plenty of great places to visit for free or nearly free within a half hour drive of where you meet.
Is this guy lacking in imagination?
Is he lacking in empathy? As it's not exactly great dates for you he's been taking you on.

Treat everything he says as provisional. It could be the truth or it could be a pack of lies, distortions, gross exageratios.

Reply 4

Original post
by Dunnig Kruger
Have you been to his place yet?
If you haven't is that because he's married or living with someone?
Just talking in his car is not a good start. How about going somewhere and doing something?
There will be plenty of great places to visit for free or nearly free within a half hour drive of where you meet.
Is this guy lacking in imagination?
Is he lacking in empathy? As it's not exactly great dates for you he's been taking you on.
Treat everything he says as provisional. It could be the truth or it could be a pack of lies, distortions, gross exageratios.

I have been to his place but we sat in his car because i had class

Reply 5

Original post
by hmmmmmm26
I have been to his place but we sat in his car because i had class

That's good. That just leaves the lack of imagination from him.
Go and do things with him. Go and see things. Visit places. Get to know each other as you share mini-adventures.

If he's not willing to go along with your frame of doing stuff together, get yourself another guy.

Reply 6

Original post
by Dunnig Kruger
That's good. That just leaves the lack of imagination from him.
Go and do things with him. Go and see things. Visit places. Get to know each other as you share mini-adventures.
If he's not willing to go along with your frame of doing stuff together, get yourself another guy.

we do other stuff but we have to work around his busy schedule and its always changing
Original post
by hmmmmmm26
we do other stuff but we have to work around his busy schedule and its always changing


All relationships have to work around other commitments. You haven't really explained why you think it is excessive.

Have you discussed this with him? "It seems like we struggle to find time. Do you think you have enough space alongside your work commitments?" etc.

If you need a bit more from him and he doesn't have capacity it's fine to knock it on the head and move on.

Reply 8

Original post
by Admit-One
All relationships have to work around other commitments. You haven't really explained why you think it is excessive.
Have you discussed this with him? "It seems like we struggle to find time. Do you think you have enough space alongside your work commitments?" etc.
If you need a bit more from him and he doesn't have capacity it's fine to knock it on the head and move on.

its excessive as in he gets very dedicated to whatever film project he is working on and sometimes forgets to take care of himself. I totally understand that part of it though so I'm not bothered by it but I was curious like other peoples take on it. Me and him do make his crazy schedule work and it works out fine

Reply 9

If he's working on professional film projects, they do tend to be very much full on when they're filming. With filming happening at all sorts of times of the day and the schedule changing at very short notice.

The upsides are that he's probably doing something he's very passionate about.
And the financial rewards will be there in the long term if he can get to some position of authority.

I can also see why after a full day's or week's filming, why he'd just want to chill out and relax,

Reply 10

I’d trust your instincts
Original post
by hmmmmmm26
its excessive as in he gets very dedicated to whatever film project he is working on and sometimes forgets to take care of himself. I totally understand that part of it though so I'm not bothered by it but I was curious like other peoples take on it. Me and him do make his crazy schedule work and it works out fine

Work/life balance is one of the most common things a couple might discuss. Just chat with him about it.

Reply 12

Just be thankful he takes time out to talk to you, sounds like he really wants you

Reply 13

Original post
by hmmmmmm26
So the guy I'm talking to is always busy for work but when he is free he calls or texts me and we hung out for like 2 hours today just talking in his car. I'm just confused on if this is good or bad

sounds pretty good to me, some guys do get quite 'obsessed' with their work but as long as he takes time to see you i dont think theres any problem with it

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